Aliens, Mysteries, and Piggys
by GojiraCipher
Summary: Zim, Dib, Gir, and Mini-Moose have found themselves in Gravity Falls for some reason and soon make friends with Dipper and Mabel. Will Zim destroy Gravity Falls? How will Dib react to supernatural of this world? Will Mabel get jealous of Dipper's new 'Mystery Partner? But seriously, how'd they get there? Does not contain disturbing shipping, but does have spoilers.
1. Welcome to Gravity Falls

**Aliens, Mysteries, and Piggys**

**Chapter 1:** Welcome to Gravity Falls

In a small town in Oregon called Gravity Falls, there stood a large shack that houses a very popular tourist trap, I mean attraction called 'The Mystery Shack', surrounded by trees and very weird props. I mean artifacts.

Standing in front if this building, there were four beings. One was a large-headed boy in a black jacket and large glasses. He stood next to another child with green skin and no nose. The Nose-less boy looked over to two creatures which are a small, floating moose that resembles a squeak toy and a plushie dog that was dancing for no reason.

They stood there silently until the big headed child yelled. "Alright, Zim! Where have you taken us? What is this better looking universe?"

The green kid, Zim, grew hostile toward the boy. "Me? Or should you say 'Where have I taken you?!' You Dib Human! As in 'I' is referring to YOU…. Or Gir touched something."

The dog jumped onto Zim's head. "I see a piggy!" The dog ran over to a pot-belly pig which came from the shack. "Hi piggy!"

Zim examined their new location. "Well who ever caused this, which is you. This place looks a lot cleaner."

Dib took notice at his surroundings as well. "You know, you're right."

"AH HA! You did send us here!"

"No I didn't! But this place just makes me … more happy."

Zim thought about what Dib had told him. "Yeah, more pleasure-y-ness is coming off of this place. Even if I'm not trying to enslave the human worms inhabitance."

Dib gasped at the mere thought. "You're not going to get away with this!"

"Get away with what?" asked the oblivious alien.

"I bet your next plan is to conquer this shack! I will not allow it!" Dib looked over at the Shack and read the large sign on top. "Mystery Hack? No wait, Mystery Shack. Huh, my kind of place. Which makes your plan more evil!"

"Mystery? You say?" Zim examined the shack. "What Mystery? Why is a building selling 'Mystery' things? What are they hiding from Zim? ….. Gir! Don't make friends with the enemyyyyy!"

Gir, playing pass the ball with the pig, looked over at his master. "He's not the enemy. The enemy's the enemy."

Then out of the shack's door, an old man walked out to see the four customers. He wore a black suit and a hat with a claw like image on it. He also has an eye-patch and wealds a cane with a magic 8-ball on it. He saw the two kids yelling and was very annoyed. "What are those brats yelling about? They're scaring away good customers."

Then a bunch of tourists walked up to Dib and Zim arguing about something which filled them with fear. "Ahhhh, loud noises!" A child then latched onto his mother. "I'm scared. They yell as loud as those angry guys on the same channel the President like to talk."

Seeing the potential customers running, the old man marched right up to the kids. "Hey, you're scaring away the money!"

Dib and Zim stopped when they saw the threatening man. "Sorry, sir. I'm trying to stop this alien!"

"I'm not an Irken Invader who's planning on replacing your brain with cotton candy! The Dib human LIE!"

Stan got a real good look at Zim and noticed his green skin and no nose. "Well, this could mean you're an alien, or another 'born different' person who'll sue if I say anything offensive. Not making the same mistake again." Stan shrugged off his anger. "Tell you what; I won't chase you off if you spend money. I mean learn about the many mysteries of Gravity Falls."

"He said it!" cheered Gir.

"Mysteries?" Both Dib and Zim said.

"Zim is defiantly scheming his next apocalypse plan. But it looks like he's interested in what this place has as well. Zim wouldn't dare reveal himself now. I could keep an eye on him on this tour. Plus, I really want to see this place." Dib thought to himself.

"Aha! I will examine what secrets the old scary man has and conquer the Earth for the Almighty Tallests! Dib would not expect a thing! Even though HEEE had sent us here!" Zim monologue out loud.

"See, he'd reveal his identity!" shouted Dib. "And I didn't bring us here. You did!"

"Don't listen to DIIIB! His head is big!"

"My head is not BI-"

"Alright, quiet the both of ya!" shouted Stan, which scared the two straight. "Now hold any question till the end of the tour. You can also take that floating toy with you." Stan announced as he points to the moose thing called Mini-Moose.

"Squerk."

"Now let's the tour begin!" Stan led the eager Dib and Zim into the Mystery Shack, unbeknownst to them that Gir and the pig had a visitor.

"Morning Waddles. Who's your new adorable friend?"

* * *

In the Mystery Shack, Stan had led them into his Museum of Mysteries. Upon seeing the exhibits like the corn-icorn, the afro-mermaid, and the juggling washing machine ghost, Dib instantly knew that this was a scam. "Why didn't I see this coming?"

Zim, however, bought everything he saw and what came out of Stan's mouth. "Amazing. I'd never would have imagined such mysterious things are on this planet. Excellent! With this wise human's knowledge, I will conquer the human race, and then make this man into my personal goldfish!"

Stan heard Zim's monologue again. "This is either the stupidest alien ever, or the most clever child that people will feel bad for and sue me." He thought to himself.

At the end of the tour, Stan grabbed a rope attached to a curtain. "Now feast your eyes on the most horrifying and dangerous relic I have ever encountered. Behold the living ventriloquist dummy!"

The pulled curtains revealed a 12-year old boy dressed in black tux with make-up on his mouth to resemble a dummy. Standing next to him was a fat man wearing a t-shirt with a question mark on it. "Oh no! The dummy have taken over my mind!" the fat man said, named Soos.

The boy just sighed from embarrassment, until he'd noticed Zim. "What the?" Seeing pass the disguise, he took out a book with a six-fingered hand and the number three on the cover and skimmed through the pages. "Now let's see what we have for today."

Dib just slapped himself in the face. "Oh come on! Everything here is fake!"

Stan gasped. "Good thing this kid scared the other gullible customers away. Not letting another smart one ruin my business." Stan then shoved him into the gift shop. "Come check out the gift shop! You can have one item for (couch) -10% off."

Stan then turned to Zim who was very pleased. "Sorry about that. You know those 'Non-believers' types."

Zim grinned. "Yes, the earth mole is very 'non-believey'. Can I ask questions now?"

"Certainly. Ask away!"

The boy listened in on Zim's questions and instantly knew that he has to be an alien. "Don't recall seeing alien stuff in here. I think I should talk to that other kid. At least he looks human." The boy hopped off the set. "Cover for me, Soos?"

"You got it, Dipper!" Soos took out a cardboard cutout of the boy, Dipper, and continued to act possessed.

Dipper walked into the gift shop and saw Dib talking to a red-headed fifteen year old girl at the counter. "He's charging five bucks for a pencil?! That has got to be illegal."

The teenager, chewing bubble gum, gazed away from her magazine. "Eh, I don't decide on prices. That will be the manager in there." She pointed at the Mystery Museum.

Dipper removed the make up on this face and asked Dib about Zim. "So, what's with that boy believing everything my Great Uncle said?"

Dib turned to Dipper. "You won't believe me, but …. That's your Great Uncle? And he's treating you as a prop?"

The girl laughed. "You should have seen his wolf boy costume."

Dipper blushed lightly. "Yeah, but I want to know what's up with that kid with no nose and green skin."

The girl lifted her head from the magazine. "No nose and green skin? I got to check this out. Cover for me, Dipper?"

"Sure thing, Wendy." Wendy walked away to the museum and Dipper sat behind the counter. "So about that kid?"

Dib knew that the boy won't believe him, but he just couldn't let the truth be silent. "Listen to me very carefully. That boy is no boy. He is an alien that wants to conquer planet earth. I am Dib, and I single handily stopped all his plans that will cause the end of the human race!"

Dipper paid close attention to Dib, but kind of felt annoyed by his loud voice. "Sounds plausible in Gravity Falls."

Dib then turned away with his head facing down. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's just that-" Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed Dipper's shoulder. "You believe me!?"

Dipper felt creeped out by Dib's behavior. He slowly removed his hands off. "Trust me, there are a lot of mysteries going on in this town. And they have nothing to do with what my Grunckle has in there." Dipper pointed to the museum with Wendy spying on Zim.

"For Stan's sake, I hope that's an alien. Would of helped him the last time." Wendy said to herself.

"What's a Grunkle?" asked Dib before shaking off his ponder. "No time to answer. Come, we must face him, together!" Dib grabbed Dipper's arm and pulled him back into the museum.

"Ahhhhhh!" cried Dipper.

Wendy looked at the two. "I wish I have some popcorn right now."

Dib pulled Dipper right to Stan and Zim who was taking down plenty of notes. "Alright, alien. I've finally found someone that believes me and wait wait wait." Dib faced Dipper. "Are you like some kind of psychologist that just wants to 'fix' me?"

"But you're just a child!" cried out Soos.

Stan pinched between his eyes. "Not this kid." Stan pointed at Dib. "Look, I'm trying to run a business. I don't want you to ruin this special, I mean different, I mean good kid's day that just want to dive into the mysteries of the strange, I mean abnormal, I mean unknown."

Zim, playing along with Stan, smiled innocently. "That's right. I'm just a poor defenseless human worm that just wants to discover and grow and eat veggies and cockroaches. You're just a mean, crazy, big headed human that will shiver under my feet!"

"That's right!" said Gir …. Not in disguise.

Zim gasped loudly as Dib pointed with glee, and everyone was just waiting for the next weird thing.

"Giiiiir! What are you doing!?"

Then out came the pig from earlier and a girl that looks identical to Dipper who wore a sweater with a rainbow design stitched on it. "Oh my gosh. You must be the little alien this robot told me about with every inch of detail!" the girl latched onto Zim and pulled off his wig to reveal antennas.

Zim gasped as his fake eyes fell off to reveal his true, pink eyes. "NOOOOOOO!"

Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Dipper stared at aw as Dib just jumped up and down with joy. "YOU SEE! HE IS AN ALIEN! NOW ATTACK AND SAVE THE WORLD!"

Everyone was silent and motionless for a bit, until Stan burst out laughing. "What a relief. For a minute I thought I was going to get sued again."

**End of Chapter**


	2. Friendships are Born

**Chapter 2**: Friendships are Born

"You sir, almost had me." Stan laughed as he forcefully patted Zim on the back. "I'm not gonna go back to court, unless I get something out of it!"

Dib and Zim just stood there, dumbfounded that Stan was just relieved and everyone else was just watching. The girl in the sweater, Mabel, was just having a blast. "You are adorable like your robot GIR. The same one your leaders, the Tallests, gave to all the Invaders to scout and study planets targeted for your Irken Empire!" Mabel smiled and hugged the alien again.

"GIR, how can you possibly reveal everything to this choking human?!" Zim shrieked.

"Because she's awesome!" GIR said as he ran around the room screaming.

Dipper flipped through his book as Soos and Wendy came close. "No, I don't see anything about an 'Irken Empire'."

Dib, still surprised that they're taking this real easy, noticed the book in Dipper's hand. "What are you reading? And can't you see we have a hostile alien?!"

They look at Zim who now held a ray gun as a hostage's head. "Don' t move or the Human gets it!"

"Yaaaay, I'm the human!" cheered GIR within Zim's grasp.

"GIIIIR, you're not a human pig!"

"Human Pig? Where?!"

Wendy looked down at Dib. "Are you sure about that?"

Dib became dumbfounded. "How can you say that? He had caused so much trouble. Like when he pretended to be Santa Claus, or when he was stealing all the kids organs for himself, or when he tried to have all my classmates sucked into a wormhole leading to a dimension of Moose eating on peanuts and-"

"O.K. we get the picture." said Wendy feeling her head.

Dipper closed his book. "This one doesn't say anything about the alien. Probably in the first two volumes."

Dib shook his head. "Why aren't you really really surprised by this?"

Dipper looked at Dib. "I was telling the truth about the paranormal going on in Gravity Falls." Dipper showed Dib the book. "This journal was written by someone unknown. In this volume alone, I've discovered a lot of information on strange phenomenon. Gravity Falls is just like a magnet."

Dib carefully examined a few pages of the book and was amazed. "This is incredible. A story of a life time." He looked at Dipper with eagerness. "How many people know about this? Did you reveal anything to the public?"

Dipper motioned his hands to calm Dib down. "Hold it there. I can't just show this off to the world. There are some people we know of that will probably cause a lot more chaos than that alien." Dipper looked at Zim who somehow lost his ray gun.

"What could possibly be more dangerous than aliens?" asked Dib. "Some psychotic kid? A shapeshifter? A demon?"

Dipper, Wendy, and Soos were pretty much surprised by Dib's guesses. "Woah, you are like some kind of paranormal genius like Dipper here." Soos said in amazement.

"Dipper?" Dib looked at Dipper and remembered what he said earlier. "So then, you really are a paranormal investigator?"

Dipper was admired. "A paranormal investigator? I like the sound of that." Dipper grinned. "So besides that alien, have you encountered anything else … sorry, where are you from, exactly."

Dib then realized the current situation. "Oh, well for starters, I think Zim there sent us to another world."

"You sent us here, DIIIIB!" shouted Zim.

"Is it the world with poor hearing?" asked Wendy who was getting really annoyed by their yelling.

"Well, this world here looks a lot cleaner. And that guy there seems a lot smarter than most people in my world." Dib said as he points to Soos. "I bet even your gullible customers are smarter. They can't even see through Zim's disguise."

They just raised an eyebrow at that fact.

"Are you serious? Even I knew something was up with that kid." said Soos.

"I know." said Dib. "They always call me crazy. Even my own dad thinks I'm delusional. I remember this one time a huge alien crashed into our school, took Zim away, and the only thing the kids responded to was some bird poop on my head."

Dipper was taken back at what Dib said. Dipper, who was not as open to his findings to people as Dib was, did relate to his problems. Thanks for his birthmark, kids would make fun of him. But the ways those kids treat him is probably nothing compared to what Dib have to go through.

"Wow, you're really struggling …. So about Zim?"

They all turned to Zim who was trying to get his ray gun back from Mabel. "You stupid Earth girl, give me that!"

"Hey, Grunckle Stan, catch!" Mabel threw the ray gun and Stan caught it. He watched the small alien trying his best to get it from Stan. "Hey, this is fun. I bet a lot of people will pay-" That was when Stan thought of an idea.

"Oh boy, looks like Stan's gonna display Zim." Dipper said.

"Display, that's perfect!" Dib smiled with excitement. "We can finally expose him to my world and …. That's right, this isn't my home world. Revealing him here would do little to save Zim's true target."

Zim overheard Dib. "My true target? Yes…. Our world's Earth. This man here is clearly too intelligent to be a human from home. I don't even know if the Tallests can teleport here." Zim then gasped. "The Tallests, my base! There could be an intruder. Or what if the Tallests need me! What are the chances of an emergency and I may be the only one to stop it!" Zim yelled as he runs around. "GIR, Mini-Moose, we cannot waste our time here! We must travel back immediately!"

GIR sighed as Mini-Moose was being adored by Mabel. "Do we have to go back? I wanted to perform circus acts with Waddles and Mabel."

Mabel overheard this as well. "Yeah, come on. You can be in the act to. Like you can juggle Bear-O and WAIT A MINUTE!" Mabel's loud shout pierced through the ears of everyone. "We haven't given each other proper introductions!"

Zim pulled on his antennae. "I, ZIIIM, shall never reveal my name to you! Dahhhh! Unhand me!"

Mabel pushed Zim, GIR, Mini-moose to one side and pulled Dipper, Wendy, Soos, Grunkle Stan, and Waddles to the other. She then took out a plastic microphone from the nineties and spoke in it. "I'll go first. Heh, check out my voice. Ohwaohwaohwaoha!" she did this to a few more seconds before getting back to introductions. "Aliens and Dib human. My name is Mabel Pine. The most talented, awesome, fashionable, lovable, cutest, Mabel-y girl in the world. Catch!" Mabel threw the toy microphone and hit Dipper. Dipper felt his head and picked the toy up.

"Uhhh hello, alien. The girl that threw this at me is my twin sister. I'm Dipper Pine. Well I guess you can say that-"

"WHAT KIND OF NAME IS DIPPER? TELL MEEEE!"

Dipper ignored Zim. "I guess you can say I'm a paranormal investigator of Gravity Falls."

"He said it, too!" cheered GIR.

Dipper handed the toy to Soos. "Hey hambro! My name is-"

"Hambro?! I am no Ham brother!"

Soos glanced at Zim cautiously. "My name's Soos. I'm the handyman of the Mystery Shack. If it's broken, I can fix it even better than before."

Soos handed the toy to Wendy. "Hey, I'm Wendy. I like to goof off and have fun. " Suddenly; Wendy let her hair flow in the majestic wind as the sunshine reflects off from it. This was noticed by Dib….

"What, why am I the center of attention?" asked Dib who was actually not forming a crush on Wendy.

Wendy handed the toy to Grunkle Stan. "My name is Stan Pine. The Sole Proprietorship of the 'Mystery Shack'! The only place in Gravity Falls to contain knowledge lost to mankind for generations."

"Yeah right." said Dib who then looked back at Wendy. "Why is there wind in here and where's the light coming from? I don't see a lightbulb or window."

Stan looked at Waddles. "So I guess it's that big-headed boy's turn?"

"No, Waddles want to introduce himself too." said Mabel which made Stan hand the toy over to the pig. Waddles started chewing on it as Mabel threw in her voice. "My name's Waddles. I'm so cute and the best pig in the world!"

Dib walked in and took the toy off Waddles, after playing tug of war of course. "Ew." Dib removed the saliva off. "O.K. I am Dib. A paranormal investigator and the Sole Defender of Earth. Well I don't think it's this Earth. I know for a fact that the alien have sent me and his henchmen here. Hello People, he's standing right there! Do something!"

Zim then pushed Dib away and grabbed the toy. "I am Zim! Inva- I mean Study Person-Alien! I'm peaceful to you human underlings and only want knowledge so I can destroy my enemies peacefully!"

"No you don't!" Dib tackled Zim and the two wrestled as Gir gave his introduction. "I'm GIR! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" GIR ran around the room as Mini-Moose followed.

The Gravity Falls gang just stood there, wishing they have some earplugs; except for Mabel. "I have a feeling we are gonna be best friends!"

Wendy and Soos didn't like the idea so much. Dipper and Stan, however, had other thoughts. "Dib sounds just like me; only louder." Dipper thought to himself. "I haven't actually made any friends my own age. I think I'll at least enjoy his company."

Stan also pondered. "This stupid alien will bring tourists all around the world! Ca-ching!"

The Invader Zim gang finally lost their energy to continue and lay down. "You'll ….. never get away with this …. Zim." Dib panted.

"You've sent us …Haaah.. here Dib! Curse you ….."

"I want nachos!"

Stan looked the alien and boy over and came up with a great idea. "Hey alien and kid. See this compass?" Stan took out a broken compass. "If this blinks, then that will be the guy who brought you here." Stan waved the item over them and nothing happened. "Well what do you know. It looks like neither of you are responsible for … whatever you guys were arguing about."

Dib didn't buy any of this, however Zim gasped. "So if Dib didn't do it, and I didn't do it? Giiiir, did you touch anything?"

GIR jumped up with his eyes glowing red. "_My master. I remember everything_!"

(Flashback)

At the 'Skool's' playground, GIR was in his dog disguise with Mini-Moose floating around as Dib and Zim were arguing about something. Then a random portal appeared and sucked the four all in. And everyone else was completely oblivious to the phenomena.

(End Flashback)

Dib and Zim looked at one another. "Oh yeah, that did happen."

Dib felt the back of his neck. "Even if you did send us here; you could have easily left and be rid of me for good."

"That's a real good point. A real good point." Zim said.

"I guess we all have nothing to do with it and probably won't even know what happened." Dib added, which made Zim worried.

Mabel noticed this and smiled. "Well Gravity Falls has some weird stuff. Maybe something here can bring you back." Zim and Dib were happy to hear this. "In the meantime, why not stay here?"

GIR got on his knees and beg to Zim.

Zim pondered for a moment. "Well I can't do a thing right now. I could possibly use the 'Mysteries' here to get back home. Heh heh, I could also use them to conquer My Earth."

Stan ducked down to Zim. "I'll tell you about those mysteries if you do a job for me."

Zim shook Stan's hand. "It's a deal, aging human!"

Mabel and GIR grinned with excitement. "OMG! You are going to have a lot of fun here, GIR!"

"Yaaaay!" cheered GIR as Mini-Moose floated around them.

Dib walked up to Dipper. "I don't know how that random wormhole appeared, but if two minds come together…"

Dipper grinned. "That are both fascinated by the paranormal…"

"We will be the best Paranormal Team ever!" they both said.

Wendy and Soos was just watching this, with no new friends of their own. "Well I'm going back to work and possibly fall asleep." said Wendy exiting.

"And I'll set up more beds. Soos, away!"

**End of Chapter**


	3. The Investigation Begins

**Chapter 3: **The Investigation Begins

After their introduction, Soos set up two more beds in Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel led them into their room, located in the attic. "Welcome to the Penthouse!" She held her arms out like a game show assistant.

"But this is a room. Not a complete structure." said Zim. The alien walked to his bed that stood on the same side of the room as Mabel's. "I'm not too familiar with this 'bed'. How do you control it?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure he's dangerous?" Dipper asked Dib.

"Of course. He's just playing stupid." They looked at Zim who was lying under the bed.

"Ingenious!"

"…..We'll see." Dipper and Dib sat on Dipper's bed and the boy took out the journal. "Dinner will be ready in three hours. We should go over what's written here to see if we can find a way to get you guys home." Dipper handed the book to Dib, where he gotten a better view of each detail.

"Amazing. Half of the information I've already looked at is far more fascinating than what I can uncover. A living island that eat people, a crystal with the powers to shrink and grown anything, and Gnomes …. with leaf blowers as their weakness?"

Dipper laughed a bit. "I've actually added that. It was left unknown by the author."

"The author?" Dib flipped to the first page and found that the name was torn out.

"The identity of the author is probably the biggest mystery this book holds." Dipper added. "We don't know a thing about him. Only that he was probably hiding from someone and has six fingers."

Dib stood up and paced around. "This is interesting. Whoever was after the author, probably wants the information for himself. Or perhaps they didn't want the author discovering something important."

Dipper pointed to his head. "I know. I thought the same thing."

"But what could be so important that the human wants it left unknown?" Zim butted in on their conversation, which Dib was quick to speak up.

"Don't even think about it! This will be a lot safer if you don't get involved."

"Why not?" asked Mabel. "He's a space alien. A space alien who is also our guest. Why aren't you as excited as me, Mabel?"

Dib sighed. "O.K. look. Me and Zim are mortal enemies. I don't want to get into a huge fight in case your Crunkle kicks us out."

"Grunkle." corrected Mabel.

Zim looked away. "Well fine. I don't need your papers. I will solve all the mysteries from the Stan human."

Dipper snorted. "Well good luck with that."

"Why thank you, Dib rip-off."

"Hey!"

Zim marched downstairs. "Now I shall negotiate with Stan about the job he has for me."

Mabel giggled. "And I'll play with GIR and Mini-Moose!" Mabel opened the window, jumped out, and plumped to the ground. "I'm O.K.!"

Dib ran to the window to see Mabel perfectly fine. "Your sister is weird. Yet the complete opposite of what my sister is like." Dib looked at Dipper who was looking through the journal. "So what should we do first, partner?"

Dipper showed Dib a page. "Well I was looking to see if the journal has a way to send you home, but first I think I should show you some of the wonders of Gravity Falls."

Dib grinned with excitement. "Well what are we waiting for, let's go!" Before Dib walked out, Dipper stopped him.

"Just one more thing you should know." Dipper looked around and spoke silently. "I've tried telling some government officials about this, but that lead to a zombie attack. On the same day, I'd 'promised' Grunkle Stan I wouldn't go investigating the paranormal anymore. He said to only use this book in self-defense. That's why I haven't contacted anyone else about the journal. The only ones that know I'm still doing this are Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and this very important person we will see later. Got it?"

Dib understood and promised to keep quite.

* * *

Dipper and Dib packed up for their short adventure and walked pass Grunkle Stan and Zim. "See ya, Grunkle Stan. Me and Dib are going to … go over defense strategies against the unknown."

Stan laughed. "Sure thing. Just don't go looking for trouble." Stan turned his attention back to Zim. "So in other words, I want you to be part of the museum, then I'll tell you everything I know about what my business has."

Zim was a bit concerned about letting everyday human worms know about him. "Oh this Stan human drives a hard bargain. But on the upper hand, this isn't the same Earth. So there is no possible way my mission will be blown. However, this world government might dissect me anyways." Zim thought about it and got an idea. "Ah ha! I'll just tell them I'm friendly and give them the gift of knowledge. Humans will never dissect me now!" Zim laughed before turned back to Stan. "I accept. But remember, I'm friendly and bring gifts. Not an elite invader who have already replaced the brains of several humans with beef!"

Stan shook Zim's hand. "You got a deal!" Stan then narrowed his eyes and spoke softly to Zim. "Just if anyone asked, this is your very first time in Gravity Falls and you have nothing to do with the place."

With this, Zim started laughing evilly while Stan laughed greedily.

* * *

Dipper and Dib walked outside and told Mabel they were going.

"Well that's nice. Seeing you two get along; while I'm getting along with GIR and Mini-Moose!" GIR was dressed in a dinosaur costume while Mini-Moose was dressed like a butterfly. Mabel took out a tape recorder and started moving her mouth to poorly match the audio. "…Ah banana oil! They're destroy the town .."

Dib looked at Dipper who only shrugged.

They waved goodbye and walked into the forest. "So partner; what's the first thing on the list?" Dib asked.

"We're going to investigate a talking tree."

"A talking tree? Sounds good for a start."

Dipper pointed to some information. "Here it says, 'On one of my many hikes, I've uncovered a talking tree. He becomes humanized when offered food on the stump facing it."

"Would this ice cream cone do?" Dib held out some ice cream.

"Where you holding that the entire time?" asked Dipper.

Dib looked back at the ice cream. "Yeah, I guess so?"

Dipper looked back into the journal. "The talking tree should be right here." They came across a tree with a suspicious looking trunk that looks like a face. "Why didn't I notice this before?"

They walked up to the tree and Dib placed the ice cream on a stump. With that, the tree began moving and two eyes and a mouth opened. "FOOD!" It slurped up the ice cream with its leaf-tongue and reverted back to normal.

"….Was that it?" they both said.

Dipper read the section over. "Well, it did technically spoke." Dipper then removed his vest and covered the book.

"What are you doing?" asked Dib.

Dipper then took out a light used to reveal invisible ink. "The journal also has some secret messages written in visible ink." The light shines on the page and more words appeared. Dipper read it as Dib was getting more excited. "However, the tree will only say 'food' and eat the offering. Don't waste your time with it. Also do not stand on the stump."

The two looked at each other. "…..Well that was under-hyped. But that's just the first step!" Dib cheered. "What's next?"

Dipper checked his watch. "Looks like it's about time I see Old Man McGucket."

"Old Man McGucket?" asked Dib.

Dipper grinned with excitement "Dib, he is the man that once worked with the author!"

Dib jaw dropped. "Really?! But wait, why didn't he tell you who the author was already?"

Then out of nowhere, a crazy old pioneer dressed man with a long beard and bandages on his right hand popped out of nowhere. "Howdy, Dipper! I'm here for my weekly mind check up on that there book! We he he!"

Dib just looked at Dipper confused and worried. "I'll go into more details later." said Dipper. "But let's just say he had his memories whipped out too many times." Dipper looked around and handed the old man the book.

"Now let's see here." McGucket sat down and looked at a few pages. "Hmmmmm, this one seems oddly familiar." McGucket pointed at a blurred drawing of a fat creature with large red eyes and huge fangs.

Dipper's eyes widen. "Really, I was trying to figure this one out."

Dib got a look of the page and saw that the picture was the only thing on it. No words or symbols at all.

"This one intrigued me since I first found the book." Dipper explained. "There aren't even any hidden messages written in invisible ink." He turned back to McGucket. "Can you recall anything about that?"

McGucket though hard about the topic "Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaah yes."

Dipper jumped up. "You do, what is it?"

McGucket bit his fingers. "This here's a vampire from another world."

"Another world?" asked Dib.

"VAMPIRE!" Mabel ran up straight to them with GIR and Mini-Moose glued to her sweater. "Does he sparkle?"

McGucket then noticed Dib. "That's one small head you got there, kid?"

"My heads not B-…. Uhhhhh. I'm kind of stuck on that one." Dib sat down and Dipper told McGucket that Dib came here from another world through a portal and has no idea why.

McGucket scratched his beard. "Wow, that sounds cliché. Which reminds me; I met the vampire face to face."

"Is he single?" asked Mabel.

"Why do you want to date a blood sucking person of the undead?" asked Dib, which caused Mabel to give the boy the most dreadful glare filled with nightmare fuel.

"They … are ….. MISUNDERSTOOD AND HOT!"

Dib stepped away from the girl.

"So McGucket, what can you tell us about the vampire?"

McGucket became worried. "Only that he's a mindless drinking machine. And he got a weapon that's part ducktape and part something else. Also he can send other people to different worlds. Now that sound more cliché."

Dib and Dipper gasped. "That vampire might be the one that sent me and Zim here." said Dib.

Mabel's pupils grew. "And you have to go back eventually, so we'll just have to meet the vampire. Eeehe he he." She grinned widely which showed off her braces.

"Are your teeth robots?" asked GIR.

Dipper thought about the vampire. "This could be our only lead on how you guys got here. And if it is a vampire, we have to prepare."

"Way ahead of ya." Dib pulled open his jacket and out came piles of garlic. "I don't know why I have these either."

Mabel was still not pleased. "When will boys learn that vampires are hot and misunderstood, well except for the evil ones …. GASP! It could be an evil vampire!"

McGucket started dancing. "I'll get the lower case t's dipped in holy milk."

Dipper pointed out toward the distance. "Well come one, we don't have much time in case that vampire shows his face. Team, go!"

Dipper, Dib, and McGucket ran toward the town to prepare themselves for the upcoming threat. However, Mabel was talking to GIR and Mini-Moose about evil vampires.

"If the evil vampires win, they make everyone cattle and make being sparkly illegal."

"Cows." GIR said quietly.

Mini-Moose squeaked.

"I agree. We'll help Dipper and Dib fight the evil. When are you ready to, Dipper?" Mabel then noticed that they were the only ones there. "Guys?"

"They left." said GIR.

"What, without me?" Mabel looked around and couldn't find a trace to where they went. "They can't do something dangerous without me. Come on, GIR and Mini-Moose. We're off."

Mabel dropped to the ground and rolled toward a random direction with GIR and Mini-Moose still stuck on her sweater.

**End of Chapter**

13-1-2-5-12 9-19 2-5-20-20-5-18 20-8-1-14 2-15-20-8 20-8-5 19-1-12-1-13-9 1-14-4 20-8-5

2-15-12-15-7-14-1 3-15-13-2-9-14-5-4

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I have decided to do a code for each chapter. They will only be 'A=1, B=2' and not three letters back or the other ones. And just to make this long one easy, the first words are 'Mabel is better'.


	4. Zim, Friend to all Human Slaves

**Chapter 4:** Zim, Friend to all Human Slaves

Far off into the known universe in Zim and Dib's world, the Irken Massive was following its schedule coarse as usual. Destroying civilizations, conquering planets, and stopping for snacks.

The large armada was being led by the Tallest, two Irkens much well 'taller' then their own kind. Their names are Purple and Red, they usually rule their empire or just mostly lounge around.

This day, however, they've received a call from Zim's computer. They spoke with the machine in the main cockpit through a screen of the Irken logo as other Irkens continued to work on other computers.

"So what you're saying is that Zim is no longer on Earth, or anywhere in existence?" asked Red.

"_Correct. I've detected his presence vanished in thin air. Literally. GIR Unit and Mini-Moose have also disappeared._"

Purple, who've just finished a soda, turned his head curiously. "Sooooo, Zim's dead?"

"_Not exactly. I would have contacted his dead body. There is no possible way to bring him back to wherever he has gone._"

Purple and Red looked at each other, and then hugged for victory. "EVEN BETTER!" Balloons dropped to the ground as the other Irkens shot silly string at each other.

"Everyone, this day shall be known as, 'Zim is Possibly Gone for Good' Day." Red spoke to his people.

"Party, Party, Party!" chanted Purple as he threw himself to their employees to be carried away.

The computer did not seem to be as joyful as the others. "_My Tallest, this does not seem to be the wisest time to celebrate. Zim could still be alive …. And might COME BACK._"

The Computer's warning went over their heads as Red turned on loud music.

"_Uhhhhhhhh_." The computer went silent for a brief moment. "_My Tallest, I think I know what happened to Zim_."

Purple managed to hear the computer. "Well whatever happened, I hope we never have to see him again." Suddenly, Purple was lifted up into the air along with Red and they were sucked right into a random portal that soon vanished.

* * *

At the Mystery Shack, Stan Pines was speaking to a crowd of people who have gathered because Stan promised something amazing, but not free pizza.

"Awwww." said a fat, disappointed man wearing a 'Free Pizza' t-shirt.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Gravity Falls, today I would like to introduce the town to everyone's new friend. For a fee!"

Under a cloth, Zim was losing his focus. "Alright Zim, you bring gifts and not conquest. These aren't the same Earthlings, they're cleaner. So much cleaner."

"Behold, a real life alien!" Stan removed the cloth and revealed Zim. Everyone gasped and watched the alien silently.

"….Hi, happy humans? I'm F-F-friendly…."

They all stood there until, "Booo!" "You stink!" "FAKE!" "I can even see the puppeteer in that window chewing gum!"

All their attention turned to Wendy in the Gift Shop who took notice.

Everyone stood up and left, luckily forgetting their refunds.

"Just as stupid as ever." Stan said to himself. "They'll be back." Stan's happy time melted when he say the group turning back for their refund. "Uh oh. That's not what I meant!"

Zim panicked. "Nooo, I must keep my end of the bargain. Or else I won't find the mysteries."

Right before the people took their money back, Mabel came rolling by with GIR and Mini-Moose still glued onto her. "Did Dipper and Dib come here?"

GIR looked at the audience, torn himself off from Mabel, flipped into the air and landed with a striking pose. "HI!"

The people turned their attention away from their refunds and say. "Awwwwww, he's adorable." Then they gave Stan more money and looked at GIR being crazy.

Zim was quite amazed that GIR was able to hold onto the human's attention. He moved close to Stan and whispered if this counts as keeping his bargain. "Heck yeah! Not only that they forgot about their refunds; they're also just throwing uncounted money at me. Literally!"

Some resident threw their wallet at Stan's head with great force, knocking unconscious.

"Hey, you O.K.?" Zim poked him with a stick which got him up.

"Uhhh, where am I?" Stan looked up and gasped at a few well-dressed men in sunglasses. "Great, more government agents."

"WHAT?!" Zim gasped in fear. "Take GIR!"

Stan stood up and greeted the two. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack. Where the paranormal is displayed and each ticket is worth twice as much for the government."

The agents looked at Zim and inspect him quickly. "Yep, an alien." They held out their badges. "We're placing you under arrest and confiscating the 'Mystery Shack'! Also we're going to dissect you for science …. Government science … we're hiding you for the people's good ….. here's twenty."

Zim screamed. "Nooooo! I'm not hostile, I bring gifts." Zim checked himself and found nothing. "GIR! Give them presents!"

GIR stopped dancing on a goat's head. "BUUUURRRRIIIITOOOOS!" GIR's head open up and shot countless amounts of burritos.

"Huzzah!"

Everyone cheered for their free burritos; even Wendy came out and caught one with her hat, right before inspecting the food. "Where has this been and how old is it?"

The agents looked at each other. "We were told to take out hostile aliens only." One agent said to another in their group.

Another agent called headquarters. "Sir, we have a non-hostile alien that brings gifts. What should-" Before he could finish, a booming voice was heard in their phone.

"_Get on his good side now! We cannot mess this up like we did with Roosevelt! We didn't know he was just a tourist alien with the cure for the common cold. Please just make him feel right at home; and if any weather balloons show up, treat it like the ultimate evil."_

They glanced at each other for a moment before speaking. "We like to welcome you to Earth. Is there anything we can do for you? Like say how our government is the best in the world?"

Zim thought for a moment, but Stan whispered to him on what to say. "I'm on vacation and thought that Gravity Falls and the Mystery Shack are worthy enough for ZIIIIIM! Also this is my first time here, which means I have nothing to do with any past events of this location. I just want to meet the people and probably tell everyone stuff!"

The Agents nodded. "Fine with us. If you need anything, just contact us. We'll be around."

Stan whispered something else to Zim. "Also, I don't like spies; especially that Santa Claus."

Stan just gave Zim a confused look.

When the agents left, both Zim and Stan sighed. "Oh boy. That was close."

"Tell me about it." said Stan. "They could have uncovered, never mind."

Zim looked at Stan curiously, but noticed how the humans were admiring GIR. "Fascinating. These humans grew a liking to my idiotic robot. Perhaps this will save me time for Stan to tell me all about Gravity Falls."

Stan laughed at the site of GIR juggling Gompers the goat, Mabel, Soos, the Hand Witch, and Manly Dan Corduroy. "He's a natural. After we're done for the day, I'll tell you all about the magical Wombat-icorn."

"Oooooooooh. Amazing."

Mabel walked away from GIR and toward Zim and Stan. "Grunkle Stan, did Dipper come here with Dib. I heard they were going to defend themselves from a dimension traveling vampire that could be evil."

"Dimension-who huh?" asked Zim.

"Dipper found out about this vampire that may be the one that brought you here."

Zim gasped. "A vampire, that brought me and Dib here? He shall suffer that wrath of ZIIIIM! GIR, you are needed!"

"Now hold on there." Stan said. "The Mystery Shack doesn't close till another hour. You can take your little robot and go vampire hunting after we're done."

The people watching GIR hug a Chihuahua puppy over-heard Stan. "Vampire?!" they all gasped and gathered around Stan and Zim.

"What do they want?" Zim thought to himself.

Stan however was quick to react. "I got some garlic spray in storage." He looked down to Zim. "Keep them busy while I stock up in the gift shop."

Zim freaked out shortly when everyone was looking at him. "What do you want!?" he blurted out of fear.

Zim could see the worry in their eyes. "What is it about a vampire?" "Are we next?" "Do they sparkle?!"

Zim became frantic. "I don't know. Ask the girl human about the vampire that …. Sparkle, wha?"

Mabel saw how worried Zim was becoming and took action. "Everybody, look at me!" Everyone looked over to Mabel, making Zim calm. "I, Mabel, have heard about this vampire. I'll tell you everything, in song!"

GIR suddenly threw up a karaoke machine. "I was on a diet last week!" The little robot threw the mic and Mabel caught it with her teeth.

"Pituwee!" She spat out the mic. "And a one-a and a two-a! Ooooooooooh! Zim here is an alien, an alien from another world. But he has to go back soon as he becomes a whatever rhymes with world."

Zim just stood there, listening to Mabel making up lyrics. "What kind of noise is the human girl speaking, and why are the other humans attracted to this? This must be the work of Gravity Falls's secrets."

Zim then saw Mabel doing the worm and everyone chanted 'Go, Go, Go'.

"Wait, why do they want her to go? This doesn't make sense! This could get the humans angry and turn against me! GIR, do your stupid thing … GIR?" Zim looked around and saw that his robot was nowhere in sight. "GIIIIIIIIR!"

**space**

In the forest, GIR was looking at a tree. "My scanner can see you behind that tree!" Then, a tall, skinny wooden-like creature appeared from behind the tree and made a sound similar to a maraca. "Groot!"

S**pace**

Zim believed he was running out of time. "Think, Zim. Think!" He looked around and saw a man opening a car door. "Ah ha!" He took out his ray gun and shot the man, leaving him unconscious. "Got him, I mean. Oh no! Someone that isn't causing you joy that's not that girl or I have hurt this innocent man!"

Everyone turned around and gasped at the victim, except for the Hand Witch. "It was him, the small green person. I saw him zap that poor man I was going to hit on!"

The people quickly turned hostile and marched toward Zim. "Wait, you don't want me! You want him!" Zim pointed at the Chihuahua puppy.

"Arf." The puppy yelp as he give looked at everyone with the biggest eyes.

Zim gulped when everyone continued the march toward him. "No, stand back you filthy humans!"

Manly Dan sniffed his armpits. "I knew I needed a shower! Hey look, the guy's getting up!"

The man slowly picked himself up and everyone cheered.

"He's O.K.!" cheered a random woman. "And he has my purse I've left in my car … which he opened …. And is now running away HEY!"

The man ran faster away from the people, right into the totem pole. He landed to the ground unconscious again and two policemen tackled him.

"We got him, we got the purse snatcher!" cheered a skinny, white cop by the name of Deputy Durland. The second cop, a short but fat black man named Sheriff Blubs placed handcuffs on the crook. "This was not your lucky day, thanks to that little hero there."

Everyone cheered for the alien and chanted 'hero'

"What, me a hero to humans? Never!" They picked up the alien against his free will and carried him away. "Ahhhh, unhand me you stupid tree people! The Irken Empire will bring upon vengeance!"

"Here cheer for our hero!" the citizens were oblivious to the alien's empty threats. But they did cause Zim to have a vision on what this could lead.

(Vision)

Zim was sitting on a thrown as hideous humans praised him. Then the Massive landed and out came the Tallest wearing t-shirts reading 'Invader Zim is the Best'. "Zim, how could you?!" Red gasped.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Zim pleaded.

Blue mouth lowered in sadness. "You sided with the enemy, and you were our favorite!" Blue held onto Red and cried. "Why was I even born?"

Red, with tears in his eyes sentence the once 'Most Important Invader, Forever' to live the rest of his life as GIR's new scratch post.

"Hurray!" cheered GIR who have already taken Zim's old role as Invader and the Tallest's favorite.

"Give me a hug!" shouted Blue as he and Red hugged the robot.

"Noooo! Nooooooo! Noooooooo!"

(End Vision)

"My Tallest! I'm not their savior! I'll enslave everyone in this putrid town and have them build a statue of you two!"

The people carried Zim out of site as Mini-Moose follow them far behind.

Mabel saw the whole scene and thought it was heartwarming. "Awwww, they already love him." She looked down at the puppy and petted him. "And you are just so adorable!"

Grunkle Stan came out of the Gift Shop. "Garlic Spray! Works on Vampires and inlaws! Buy one get one free for fifty dollars!" Stan noticed that everyone is gone, including Zim and his minions. "Where'd they go?"

Mabel told him that Zim is not a town hero.

"Really, and he's staying with us for the time being. Perfect! I can have people take pictures with The Hero of Gravity Falls. I'll make a fortune!"

Mabel hugged the puppy. "Also, did you see Dipper and Dib?"

Stan scratched his head. "I think they were in the forest. But I haven't seen then since."

"Oh, then they must be down town to go fight that vampire! Not without Mabel!"

Mabel was about to run off, before Stan caught her. "Now wait just a minute. I'm not letting my niece go around fighting vampires. Not without this!" Stan placed a garlic necklace around Mabel's neck. "This will keep vampires and bill collectors away. Also give him this cheap sunblock. He'll think its Quality over Quantity."

"Thank you, Grunkle Stan. Now I'm off!" Mabel jumped onto her bike and rode away.

Stan just stood there laughing. "You naïve girl. Vampires only come out in the full moon. No wait, that will be werewolves. Uh oh!" Stan ran back into the shack and took out a bat. "Wendy, close up shop early. I'm protecting my niece from some vampire boys!"

"Sure thing, and make sure you give an extra beating to the ones that sparkle." Wendy cheered him on as he got into his car and went after them.

Meanwhile, Gompers the Goat was just standing around eating grass. He turned his head and saw the puppy playing with its tail. The puppy soon gave up when it noticed Gompers. His smile disappeared and his pupils shrunk. He scratched his ear and a large chunk of fur came off. He breathed heavily as saliva poured from his mouth like a starved stray dog.

Gompers turned around and walked away toward the town as the puppy followed it like a fully grown predator.

**End of Chapter**

20-1-11-5 1 23-9-12-4 7-21-5-19-19


	5. Team Mystery vs El Chupacabra

Northwest Manor Mystery thoughts.

"Yes! Pacifica is finally 100 percent likable! But will there be shipping with Dipper? … Too soon to make things official.

But now it looks like the end of the world is coming and a new episode will be up in about …. 2 weeks. …. I hope they show previews soon.

To anyone that is not old enough for the T section, I've posted a new story of Chester A. Bum reviewing the latest episode of Gravity Falls.

BTW; this fanfiction will take place before the latest episode and the giant vampire bat will probably make a cameo and play no important role. I still have my idea for the dimension traveling vampire. Speaking of vampire.

* * *

**Chapter 5: **Team Mystery vs. El Chupacabra

Dipper, Dib, and McGucket were walking right into the town as McGucket told one of his personal stories. "And that's when I swallowed fifty frog eggs whole right before wrestling a cactus."

Dib eyed the prospector. "Are you sure he's trying to get better?"

McGucket tapped his feet. "Oh yeah. I'm working on fixin that their laptop. Dipper! Should have it done close to that their party the rich Northwest are throwin."

"That's great!" Dipper said with glee. "But not too crazy about some party, nor the Northwest. Especially Pacifica." Dipper thought back about how nasty she can be. "She's the worst."

After that thought, Dib then recalled everything he knows about vampires. "They burn in sun, weak to holy objects, do not have reflections, and hate Garlic Festivals, wait what?"

That's when the three noticed that they are standing right in the middle of a Garlic Festival. From left to right, all the people have decorated the town with garlic. Garlic reefs hung on the door, Garlic was being tide to balloons and floated off, people dressed in garlic costumes, and some people even participated in Garlic sculptures.

"Yahoooooooooooo!" McGucket flipped in the air. "I forgot the garlic festival is today!" With that, McGucket left the kids and jumped into a tub of garlic butter.

"… I've seen weirder." Dib looked around and saw all kind of garlic products like Garlic toothpaste, garlic hats, and garlic deodorant. "Well this is lazily convenient."

Dipper wasn't aware that any festival was going on today, especially about a certain weakness to vampires. "Well partner, we're going to have a long supply of ammo for that vampire."

"Partner! Ehe he he."

Dipper felt a little creep out by Dib's glees and twitches. "O.K. I'll go check over there for any useful supplies. You should check the other side to cover more ground."

"Alright. That vampire won't know what'll hit him!"

* * *

"Argh, I can't believe I got stuck in traffic." Stan Pines was stranded in a line of cars leading to the garlic festival. "I had that one chance of clearing out those garlic sprays and making tons of cash, but noooooo." Stan looked outside to see the long line. "Looks like I have to abandon the old girl. I can't let that blood sucking goth get to Dipper and Mabel. They'll be killed! Or worst, turn into goths!"

Then zooming right passed Stan, was Mabel. "Onwards!" She performed a wheely and passed by all the drivers who all sighed in envy of the girl's freedom.

"Mabel! ….. How'd she get behind me when I went after .. No time!" Knowing that her life is on the line, Stan exited his car and ran after her, but was then stopped.

"Hold it right there, Stan Pines." Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland were blocking Stan's way.

"Hey, Blubs. How'd we get here when we were bringing our hero to the festival?" asked Deputy Durland.

Officer Blubs placed his hand on Durland's shoulder. "When you're an officer, you can do whatever you want."

Stan sighed. "Alright, what is it this time?"

"You were going to abandon your car on 'Car Appreciation Day'." answered Blubs.

"Car what now?" asked Stan. "I though today was about Garlic."

"Garlic most of the time overshadows Cars." said Blubs. "Now get back into your vehicle. Or we'll have to use the taser."

Stan growled. "Look, my grand-niece is about to be vampire chow. If you don't mind I have to go SAVE HER LIFE."

The two cops looked at each other and laughed. "Ha, you think a vampire will eat your niece on 'Garlic Appreciation Day'?" asked Durland.

"What, but you just said it was 'Car Appreciation Day'. Arh forget you two!" Stan was about to walk pass them until they've threaten him with a taser.

"Don't push your luck. We've trained for five years in the way of the taser." said Blubs.

"Yeah, unless you're some kind of giant bat, we're invisible." said Durland.

"That's invincible." Blubs corrected. "And even if it was, you can never hide from everyone's blessed eyes." Blubs said in a heart-warm tone.

"Sheesh, alright." Stan walked back into his car, which the cops quickly covered in yellow tape. "What the H is up with this?"

"That will keep you from breaking the law." said Officer Blubs.

Stan just laughed at the remark. "You clueless young people."

Gompers the goats came into the scene. "Come on, Deputy Durland. Let's go to the crowing of the Garlic King!" The two police men hopped on the goat. Gompers looked behind him and dashed away, despite the extra weight.

"Well there they go." Stan looked around and was going to open the door. "They think some tape will stop ….. heh?" Stan couldn't open the door. "What the heck is this tape made of?" Stan shook off the thought and just opened the window. "Well that's not gonna stop me!" Stan leaped through the tape ….. actually he got stuck in it like a fly on a fly paper. "Why is this all sticky!?" Stan tried breaking loose, but this caused him only more imprisonment as the tape wrapped around his whole body. "Who made this!?" Stan landed to the ground with everything covered but his face. That's when Stan noticed a product tag on the tape that read 'Lil' Gideon's Police Tape. Works great with Old, grumpy, tight-wads whom name rhymes with Dan Dines.'

Grunkle Stan's face boiled with anger. "G…G….G….G... GIDEOOOOOOOON!"

* * *

Meanwhile at the Gravity Falls Prison, the ex-psychic Gideon was making License plate and he felt something. With a whimsical and slight psychotic smile, he laughed joyfully.

* * *

As Grunkle Stan struggled to get free, the puppy Chihuahua from before walked toward him. The small animal had now lost more fur and his eyes twitched around. Stan noticed that it was sniffing him. "Pee on me, and you're dead."

The puppy glared at Stan and hissed like a demon.

"Woah there!" The puppy twitched some more and Stan saw its paws growing longer. Before reacting, the animal ran toward the direction of town, and Mabel. "This isn't good! I'm coming, Mabel!" Stan crawled after the monster like a caterpillar.

* * *

Back at the Garlic Festival, Dib and Dipper reunited and showed each other what they brought. "I got garlic holy water!" Dib spoke. "This will burn his skin twice as face, which will make it easier to impale him with this garlic stake!"

Dipper became excited. "Well I don't want to brag, but I got this solar flash light that shoots light and particles of garlic. I for the life of me have no idea how it works, when it was made, or how long it took to invent this, but this is literally the ultimate weapon against vampires."

Dib grinned with excitement, but stopped himself. "Hold it, if that vampire is responsible for bringing me and the alien here, we can't just kill it right on sight."

Dipper realized the situation. "You're right. We need to trap that vampire without killing it. Since he can turn into a bat, our best shot is to trap him in a cage with little space for escape. But to get him in there, we need to force him …. With these garlic swords." Dipper drew out two swords made of garlic. Dib smiled and took a blade. "This is as crazy as everyone back home think I am! Together nothing will stop us!"

Their attention turned to the stage as Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland called upon everyone with Gompers standing next to them. "It's time now to crown the Garlic King!"

Everyone cheered.

"This year's king caught a perp!" shouted Durland. "Introducing the little green fella, Zin!"

"It's ZIIIIIIIIIM!"

Dib looked over and gasped as the people who took Zim threw him on stage. "Zim!? What is he doing here?!"

Zim picked himself off with disgust. "Filthy humans. You will all bow to me!" Then the police placed a crown with Garlic sitting on top. "All hail the festival's Garlic King!"

"Heh?" Zim checked the crown and saw everyone cheering. "You already surrendered?" Zim shook his head and smiled. "And here I thought you were all stupid. But if the Tallest asked, tell them you surrendered when you saw the awesome might of ZIIIIIIM!"

Dib, forgetting that Zim's title really means nothing, held the garlic sword tight and leaped onto stage. "Not so fast, Alien!" Dib held the sword close to him as the world suddenly turned to wide screen. "Today you will be over thrown by the Human Race!"

Zim gasped. "Dib!" He looked at the people. "Minions, seize him! Protect your Garlic King!"

Everyone in the audience just assumed this was some sort of act as the two cops blocked Dib. "Now hold on there, what do you think you're doing?" asked Officer Blub.

"Pssss, maybe this is just part of a show and we didn't get the memo?" said Deputy Durland.

"Oh, I get it. And this must be the part where the villain defeats us, but is soon vanquished by the king." The two cops nodded and they collapsed. "Oh no, this vile man stopped us!"

"Who can save us!?"

Dib jumped over the police and pointed his sword at Zim. "Surrender. I won't allow you to harvest any more slaves." Dib was caught off guard as everyone cheered for Zim. "What is wrong with you all? He's an alien! I real life alien!" with one swing, Dib knocked the grown off Zim. "See, here are his antennas, and his large pink eyes!"

"Yeah, some of us know he's an alien." said a certain Goth Punk teen named Robbie in the front row.

"I know you don't believe me, wait what?"

Another teenager, named Tambery, who had her arm wrapped around Robbie, showed Dib and Zim her phone. "See this Headbook page? Mabel told everyone in town that's he's some sort of alien. But I'll gladly take him over those ghosts in that abandon convenient store."

Dib and Zim examined the phone. "Wow, Mabel warned everyone …. What kind of phone is this? It looks all futuristic."

Zim, however, grinned. "So this Mabel Syrup girl told everyone in this town about me. No wonder they were wise enough to see me as a threat. Mwa ha ha ha!"

Tambery took her phone back as Robbie said something else. "Yeah, but looks like only a few of us believe it. Everyone here thinks it's all an act. They're still cheering for the little green guy."

They looked at the audience and saw that they were oblivious to the small conversation.

"But he, and I, and them, and doom!" Dib couldn't apprehend the situation. "They cannot be this stupid!"

Zim just laughed at all this. "Yes, Yes! Now Mini-moose, destroy the Dib human once and for all! But keep him alive in case I get bored taking over the world too quickly."

Mini-Moose floated on stage and his eyes glowed red.

Dib was not prepared for this upcoming attack. He was about to try leaping out, but then Dipper jumped on stage. "Not so fast!" Dipper looked through his journal as Zim remembered it contain mysterious secrets. "I have a spell here that will make your attack backfired horribly."

Zim gasped. "Stop the attack, Mini-Moose!" Mini-Moose canceled his laser eyes as Zim cautiously approached Dipper.

"Not to close, or I'll speak a magic word and turn all the animals against you!"

Zim knew that he was in a tight situation. "Curse this Dib Clone. How dare he use magic against Zim! I must think of a strategy!" Zim looked around the audience and saw a small animal approaching. "Ah Ha! Look Dib Clone. A puppy! Go say 'Awwww' at it without looking at that book!"

Dipper was about to ignore Zim's obvious distraction, but gasped when he saw it walk on stage. The puppy was not completely hairless and his eyes swollen black. It even caused Robbie and Tambery to back away slowly.

"Woah, that dog really needs a vet."

The puppy looked over at Gompers and stick out a long, alien-like tongue.

"Uhhhh, is this normal for Earth Dogs?" Zim stepped back away from the creature as it made bone-snapping noises and grew larger. "Dib Clone, is this in your book?"

Dipper flipped through the pages. "I don't see anything about this here. It's completely new!"

Everyone jumped back as the creature stopped changing. They looked upon the final form of this greenish-reddish skin, Quadrupedalism, human sized dog with kangaroo-like hind legs and sharp claws on its front paws. Spines ran down its body with small bat wings near its neck. The head of the beast remained canine, but bares large, sharp fangs, ready to pierce through its next victim. It hissed loudly, which caused Gompers to run away scared.

As Dipper continued searching, Dib knew what this was. "It's an El Chupacabra! The goat-sucker!"

It all became clear to Dipper now. "Of course. Wait, could this be our vampire?"

Seeing that the goat ran off, the Chupacabra looked at Dib, Dipper, Mini-Moose, and Zim. "Mystery Human, do something!" Zim yelled out his ray-gun in defense.

Dib shouted to Dipper that he should use the spells he was going to use on Zim. "I as bluffing about that because I know Zim will believe me! I got nothing on this!"

The Chupacabra leaped several feet into the air, ready to pounce on them from above. They quickly dodged the attack and the monster had his claw stuck in the wooden stage. Dib took this opportunity to use the Garlic sword against the beast. He flipped into the air to stab the creature, but the blade shattered since it was made of food.

"Right, does not have any weaknesses related to vampires." Dib flipped way as the creature freed himself. "Garlic is not going to do anything against him!"

"You're right." said Dipper. "And if we survive this, you have got to show me how to do this flips."

The Chupacabra snarled at the two, but then was attacked by a laser. The Chupacabra howled in pain as it saw Zim. "No one destroys the Dib Human except me, ZIIIIIIM!"

The Chupacrabra twitched a little in irritation and ran after Zim. Zim activated his robotic spider legs and dodged the beast. "Mini-Moose, attack the monster!"

"Erh!" Mini Moose shot lasers out if its eyes and stuck the beast. The beast jumped away and threw a car at Zim and Mini-Moose. Mini-moose floated away as Zim blast off with his jet pack, and everyone in the audience continued to think this is all just a show.

"Humans!" Zim shouted through a megaphone. "Obey your master and destroy that Chupa-cha-cha dog monster! NOOOOW!"

"Rrrrah!" As Zim continued to screech into the megaphone, the Chupacabra covered his ears in pain.

"Dipper, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dib asked with a heroic grin.

"The El Chupacabra hearing is too sensitive to loud noises. Also El mean 'the' in Spanish, but we know its weakness." Dipper looked around and saw Mini-Moose floating near Gompers who was hiding behind a barrel. "I'll go get the floating Moose toy to attack the El, I mean the the, I mean Chupacabra. You help Zim shout at him. I think you can yell louder and longer than me."

"Got it!" They break and Dib stood in front of the monster. "Hey ugly! Can you hear me? I said CAN YOU HEAR ME!?"

The Chupacabra continued covering his ears instill Zim shot him. He landed on the ground and noticed the monster can't take loud noises. "Ha, a Human can't yell as lowed as an Irken. HEY, HEY, FILTHY EARTH DOG! EAT DIB!"

"NO, EAT THE ALIEN!"

The Chupacabra couldn't handle the noises and dashed at the two with his wide mouth open to bite his foes. Dipper got to Mini-Moose and Gompers ran away. "Small-Moose! Shoot your lasers at his legs. It will slow him down!"

Mini-Moose just remained there, floating in the air.

"That thing's attacking!"

Mini-Moose continued to do nothing.

"Hello? Are you still working?"

Back with Zim and Dib, they were distracting and dodging the Chupacabra quiet well, but they knew they can't yell forever. "I can't do this forever! I have to destroy this monster now!" Zim took out his ray gun, but the Chupacabra quickly slashed it out of his hands, cutting through the advance technology. "Nooooo ack ka!" Zim began coughing.

"Looks like Zim hurt his voice! This could mean the end of Zim! But how will I finish the Chupacabra off for Ack ka!" Dib, too, started losing his voice. "Oh … no!"

Zim dodged another swipe and landed near the tub of garlic butter. "I … can still yell!"

Then Old Man McGucket jumped out of the tub, scaring Zim half to death. "You have got to try this!" McGucket then forced a handful of garlic down Zim's mouth. The alien spit them all out and was tackled by the Chupacabra. "Unhand me!"

The monster was about to rip Zim's head off, but Mini-Moose tackled the creature with no results. The Chupacabra turned his head toward Dipper whom have just thrown the moose at it. "I uhhhh couldn't get him to work."

The Chupacabra held his tongue out with a starved glare. As it was about to puncture Dipper, Dib jumped on its head. "No one attacks my 'Mystery Partner'!" He started yelling and pulling on its ears the best he could, but the monster rolled around and forced Dib off.

The creature's head felt awful, but he wasn't down yet. He saw Dipper and Dib running into a stand of Garlic Bread and lunged at them. He destroyed the stand within seconds and grabbed a hold of something. It hissed one more time before using its tongue to feast, but what it instead took was a garlic bread, being held by GIR who was just about it eat it.

The little robot jaw dropped and his eyes started tearing. "I-it was supposed to go into my tummy … WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The inhuman pitch of the robot's scream was so powerful that the El Chupacrabra collapsed and shrunk down to its puppy form.

Dipper, Dib, Mini-Moose, and Zim walked toward them and saw the defeated puppy lying on the ground. Zim then quickly took a piece of garlic bread and shove it down GIR's mouth. The little robot raised its arms in victory and quite down.

"Another species defeated by the hand of Zim!" Zim cheered for his self-proclaimed victory.

Dipper just rolled his eyes. "I still don't think he's a threat."

Then they saw the town folks approaching them. Zim took this opportunity and demand them to capture Dib and the Dib Clone. "Take them away and feed them to the Earth Pigeons!"

Everyone, instead, cheered. "Hurray for the Garlic King, and his sidekicks!"

"Sidekicks?" asked Dib and Dipper.

Everyone got into the act and shook their hands and the children treated Zim, Mini-Moose, and GIR as cherished cartoon characters. "I sign my name to no one!"

Dib and Dipper just shook their hands awkwardly as they all eventually returned the festival, still having no clue what actually happened.

Dib just stood there, looking at his hand.

"Well that was something." said Dipper. "We've saved the day, and were called sidekicks of Zim. Even though GIR actually stopped the Chupacabra." Dipper remembered Dib saying that no one appreciate him back home. "Are you feeling O.K.?"

Dib looked up, and jumped into the air in victory. "That was the closest thank you I have ever received from saving the world!"

They made Dipper both happy and sad for his new friend. "Well then, I guess now we have to take care of …. Oh no. He's standing up!" Dib and Dipper saw the Chupacabra puppy standing up, but immediately curled up in fear. They sort of felt sorry as it covered his eyes.

"You know at the end of the day, it's still just an animal surviving. Maybe we could let some chicken loose so it can suck their blood and it will be on its way." said Dib.

As they thought of more peaceful ways on what do with the puppy, Old Man McGucket jumped out of nowhere. "I just rubbed my eyes with Garlic salt." He looked at the puppy and gasped. "My word, Fluffy!"

"Fluffy!?"

McGucket picked the puppy up and placed earmuffs on it. "Fluffy, what did I tell you about taking those earmuffs off. You always go on these rampages thanks to your head acks." The puppy sighed peacefully as it fell asleep in the prospector's arms.

"Wait, this is your pet?!" asked Dipper.

"Why yes she is! And my battery charger!"

(Flashback)

Fluffy was running on a treadmill as it chases a chicken tied to a rope in front of the animal.

(End Flashback)

"So this isn't the vampire that travels between dimensions?" asked Dib.

"Nope!" McGucket petted the creature. "Well that was fun. I should take this little girl home and work on remembering my brain parts. I'll tell you if I remember anything about that vampire. See ya."

McGucket slapped himself and ran off like a raccoon.

"What's up with that guy?" asked Zim with GIR stuffing his mouth with Garlic.

"Don't ask." Dipper said.

Zim looked back at the old man. "Dib, did you say something about a dimension traveling vampire." They both thought that Zim couldn't use this information to take over anything, so they filled him in about the vampire and briefly about McGucket. "So this vampire could be the one that brought us here. He shall pay for keeping me from my mission and trapping me here with monsters like that dog and that Human Worm over there."

Dib and Dipper jolted up, but saw Grunkle Stan covered in police tape crawling toward them. He reached them and gasped in exhaustion. "Huh, uh. Mabel …. Said something about a vampire … am I too late. Is she a goth now?"

Dipper took out a pocketknife and cut the tape off Stan. "There was no vampire, only a Chupacabra that for some reason McGucket keep as a pet. We already took care of it and I haven't seen Mabel yet."

Dib also explained about the vampire and left anything out that has to do with McGucket.

Stan picked himself up and brushed off some dirt. "So there's a vampire going around. With this festival, I wouldn't worry too much. They have enough garlic to last a month. I'm sure we'll get him before he does anything. Speaking of which, where did Mabel go. She should have been here by now."

They all looked around and saw Mabel coming toward them. "Don't worry, Mabel is here to help! Am I early?" Mabel saw the wrecked property and saw no sign of any vampires.

"Sorry, Sis. We already took care of the problem." Dipper said.

"We?" asked Mabel.

"Yep!" said Dib. "You should have seen it. It was an El Chupacabara. It jumped high into the air and we all dodged it. Then I tried stabbing it with a garlic sword, but it didn't work! Then we yelled at it and Zim's robot finished it off. Then everyone praised us! Isn't that right, partner?"

"Partner?" Mabel saw Dib wrapping his arm around Dipper. "And you used a Garlic Sword."

Dipper laughed. "I have to give him credit. He can do these flips and he actually jumped on the monster's head. It was crazy!"

"Not as crazy as my stunts." Mabel said.

Dipper didn't seem to hear Mabel. "And this wasn't even the real vampire. Just imagine the crazy things we have to do next! Partner!"

Mabel's eyes widened. "Well of course you'll need me to tag along too. Dib and Zim are only going to be here for ….. uuuuhhh."

Dib then realized something. "There's actually no way of knowing when that vampire will show up."

"And I'm not letting you go looking for trouble. At least without me." said Grunkle Stan. "And I'm a busy man. I don't have all day. So the best you can do is build defenses for when it does come. Which could be tomorrow, next week, next month, or the rest of summer."

"The rest of summer?"

Dipper thought about this. "You're right. We can't waste time." He looked at Dib. "We should head back. After a good night sleep, we'll spend the rest of tomorrow finding more garlic, holy objects, and check maps for any rivers which vampires can't cross."

"Dipper?" Dipper looked at Mabel. "But we were going to go bowling tomorrow. Just the two of us."

"Sorry, Mabel. But we have to help bring them home." Dipper pointed at Dib, and Zim doing some shenanigans with his henchmen. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Mabel smiled. "Sure thing."

Stan checked his watch. "It's getting close to dinner. Let's have something not garlic related. Come on you guys."

Stan gathered everyone and they all walked to his car. Zim removed the police tape with help from GIR and they all drove off, with of course Stan yelling at Zim and Dib to behave. When they got back to the Mystery Shack, they saw Wendy laughed with two people, which she then motioned them to hide in some shrubs.

Stan was the first to step out of the car. "Hey Wendy, I hope you didn't bring your friends over. You break it you buy the whole set."

Suddenly Wendy became frantic. "There you guys are?" She started gasping for air. "I have to speak with Zim."

"Eh, what do you want, Human?" Zim asked in a snood tone.

Wendy got onto her knees. "It's the Tallest!"

Zim's eyes bulged open. "My Tallest? Have they come to save me?"

Wendy looked at Zim with grief. "Yes, but when they arrived …. Someone captured them!"

Zim gasped and he grabbed Wendy's face. "Who DAAARESSSS captured the Tallest!? TELL ME!"

Wendy pulled Zim off. "I don't know! They said they wanted revenge or something. But I do know where they went." She pointed down south. "They flew datta way!"

Zim looked toward the direction. "I'M COMING MY TALLEST!" GIR activated his jets and Zim jumped on. "ENEMIES! YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF ZIIIIIIIM!"

GIR blasted off with Zim far, far away from the Mystery Shack. Wendy watched them until they were out of sight, and fell to the ground laughing. "Oh … Oh man! He's so Ah ha ha ha!"

Then everyone else heard laughed coming from two people. Dib looked and gasped at two beings the same species as Zim. "Zim's learders! I have you know!" Dib jumped into the air to kick them in the face, but Red grabbed him while still laughing.

"Please, just wait. Ah ha ha!"

Everyone waited several minutes before asking anything.

"Wendy, why are the Tallest here?" asked Dib. "And why aren't they hostile?"

Wendy wiped a tear out of her eye from laughter. "Relax, they're cool. They just came here when you all left."

(Flashback)

Wendy locked the door to the shack and started eating a candy bar. That was when Red and Purple fell out of a portal. They looked around, wondering where they are, and saw Wendy eating. "Are you gonna finish that?"

(End Flashback)

"This human girl is awesome!" cheered Purple. "And Earth Snacks are great!"

Red stood up. "She told us all about how Zim got here, so we heh heh thought up of this plane to get him away from this place."

Dib didn't understand the Tallest ways. "But why do you want Zim to go? If it's about scouting this world, you could just order an elite invader like Zim to do it."

The Tallest and Wendy almost lost it. "We, herh, we … we wanted to test Zim's loyalty too." Purple said as Wendy began tearing.

"But do not worry about this world." said Red. "Wendy told us that we are stuck here from some portal. We will cooperate to get us back home. In addition we will pose no threat to your world." said Red.

"Especially a world with snacks." said Purple.

Grunkle Stans eyes turned into dollar signs. "And you can stay here. I'm sure everyone will like to meet the Tallests at the Mystery Shack."

"We don't use the plural term." said Red.

"Whatever. I'll fix some guest beds in Soos's break room. Come, I guess I'm feeding four mouths total."

Wendy told them that she's going home and Dipper filled Wendy in about the vampire quietly. "Don't sweat it. I used that garlic spray on my axe. Also one more thing." Wendy whispered to Dipper and Mabel about how Zim is actually the worst invader ever.

"I knew it, but I don't think Dib is aware." They looked at Dib who was trying to get some Irken secrets before Stan warned them not to do anything rash.

"We'll keep that from Dib too." said Mabel.

After Stan set in the ground rules, they all waved goodbye to Wendy and entered the Mystery Shack for a good night rest. What new adventure awaits them tomorrow? Tune in whenever.

**End of chapter**

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**4-9-16-9-6-9-3-1?**


	6. A Tall Vacation

**Chapter 6:** A Tall Vacation

Inside a once, secret room, the Tallests were sleeping peacefully. They successfully blocked all pathways so the large headed boy won't assassinate them and they knew that Zim was probably hundreds of miles away, looking for them.

Purple was slowly getting up in the middle of morning. His eyes opened and a familiar image appeared before him. He blinked a few times and realized what that person is. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Red bolted up from the couch. "What is it?! An attacker?" He looked over to Purple and found that it was much worse. "ZIM?!"

They both jumped to the corner of the room, frightened by the grinning menace. "My Tallest, I have returned! Did I pass?"

"P-P-Pass what?!" asked Red, nervous on what Zim was thinking.

"The test. Did I pass?"

"What test?" asked Purple.

Zim briefly laughed. "Oh, when I flew around this less-filthy planet and found the home of the Wendy-girl. She said that you My Tallest were never kidnapped, but was just testing my loyalty for this other-world situation."

The Tallest were impress and relieved that Wendy would cover them. Red stood up and cleared his throat. "Why yes. You've passed."

Zim grinned and bowed. "Thank you, My Tallest. Now what are your next orders, my Tallest?"

Purple stood up and brushed himself. "Well last night we were informed about a possible vampire that could be the reason we are here. We order you to uhhh."

"Collect information about the area. Away from this structure." added Red.

"Your wish is my command." Zim marched out of the now broken door. "Also, take my advice. Do not anger the Grunkle."

Red and Purple sit down and sighed. "That was close." said Purple.

"We owe Wendy big time." said Red. "Wonder if she's here?"

Then both their stomachs rumbled. "Minor priority." said Purple. "Let's EAT!"

The Tallest walked into the kitchen and found the entire household. Dipper and Dib were looking through a book with a six fingered hand image on it as they fanboyed all over it. Zim was spying on them as he takes notes. Grunkle Stan was reading the newspaper as Mini-Moose floated around. Lastly they looked over to the stove to see Mabel and GIR making waffles, which they grinned in joy.

They sat down away from Zim as Mabel served them. "Bon appetite. Enjoy these waffles by me and GIR."

GIR turned around to reveal that he was wearing one of Mabel's handmade sweaters, just his right size. "They got waffles in them."

"You liiiiiiiie!"

Red and Purple dig in like Waddles and enjoyed every minute of the sweet taste of syrup and waffles. "Human girl, you have quite the talent." complimented Red, which made Zim make a note to not harm the Mabel human.

Grunkle Stan swiped off the syrup and crumb on his face due to the Tallest appetite and spoke. "Well aliens, robot, Paranoid Dipper rip-off, and chewtoy; I don't know how you all got here, but if you're staying here, you will have to do something in return." He looked at Zim and GIR. "You're probably already friends with Dipper and Mabel, go help them find a way to get you back home."

Zim and Dib glared at each other.

"And no fighting each other. Also don't get my niece and nephew in danger, or you two will be in danger."

Zim and Dib lowered their heads in fear.

"And I expect any damage you cause to be repaired. That means that broken door to Soos's break room." Stan looked at the Tallest.

"And you Tall guys. I say you should be part of the exhibit. Talk to people and give a performance or whatever."

Purple and Red looked at each other. "You mean like hang out?"

"Yeah, just don't attack anyone and be friendly. I expect to make money."

"Don't worry, we'll hand out." Purple and Red grinned at each other. Since they didn't have to run the Massive at the moment, they could take a short break.

After breakfast, Stan took the Tallest into the Mystery Shack. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack."

Red and Purple looked at the 'real' artifacts. "Oooooh, googly eyes." said Purple.

Red looked around. "Are humans really this dumb?"

"Only the easily scammed!" proclaimed Grunkle Stan. "Just don't let them know. Pretend that everything here is real." Red was admired that at least one 'tall' human wasn't stupid.

A little later, after everyone went their separate ways, Red and Purple saw Wendy coming. "Sup, Tall Greens." She greeted in her cool tone. "Is Zim here? My dad wants to pummel him for climbing into my room last night, and so do I."

The Tallest sighed. "No, we ordered him to investigate this world away from the Mystery Shack." said Red.

"But seeing him get beaten would have been better." sighed Purple.

"Well don't feel too bad. I just wanted to punch him for waking me up." said Wendy. "My Dad however thought it was for another reason. And trust me it would be too gruesome to watch."

This only made Red and Purple more enthuse to see. Red got an idea and took out a small flying spy camera out of this backpack device. "Follow Zim around and don't miss a moment of any pain he received."

"And get perfect shots!" said Purple before the machine flew off.

"Woah, that's cool." said Wendy.

"Not as cool as running an inter-galactic empire."

Wendy smiled. "So what are you guys gonna do?"

Red and Purple informed that they had to work in the Mystery Shack by hanging out. "Trust me, we are gonna have so much fun." With that, the three high-fived each other.

After the Mystery Shack opened, Grunkle Stan started his first tour of the day. "Behold, two real live space aliens." Grunkle Stan showed them Red and Purple on a set, waving at them. "Ask them any question for ten, I mean fifty, I mean one hundred dollars."

Red and Purple held in their laughter as the stupid humans gave their hard-earned money to a con-artist. They looked at a gullible man with a question. "What time is it?"

The two nearly lost it. "It's .. hih …. Eleven."

Everyone oooohed. "What's in stored for the future?" asked a woman.

"Full of mysteries, planned, and natural events." answered Purple.

"I KNEW IT!" Wendy burst out with laughter in the Gift shop.

They went down all the people that attend the tour.

"Do you know a good ingredient for pancakes?" asked Lazy Susan

"Live sea slugs." answered Purple.

"Is Puppet Heaven real?" asked Gave Bensen.

"It is if you put your heart into it." answered Red.

"Have you seen a missing Mini-Golf trainer and champion named Sergei?" asked Shandra Jimenez.

"If we saw him, he wouldn't be missing."

"When will death come?" asked Mayor Befufftlefumpter.

"When you leave a tooth under your pillow."

"Who should I choose, the Raccoon or the beaver as my love?" asked McGucket.

"Raccoon."

"Can anything make CGI obsolete?" asked Harry Claymore.

"Real life man, real life."

"Can Durland be any more perfect?" asked Sheriff Blubs.

"Who are you to judge?"

"Have you seen a very dangerous and very unstable time traveling device that could tear the fabric of time and could cost me my job if I don't find it?!" asked Blendin Blandin.

"Here's a voice changer."

"What's a good move to impress the boys." asked Grenda.

They respond by asking what's on her shirt and flick her nose. "That."

"Where did I go wrong?" asked Toby Determined

"Nothing, your life was just destined …. For whatever is wrong with you."

"WHERE'S THAT GREEN KID WHO SNUCK INTO MY DAUGHTER ROOM LAST NIGHT?!" asked Manly Dan, which the mere sight of him caused Red and Purple to scream and hide behind a flying bacon-bear.

"He's with Dipper." answered Wendy. "Just don't beat Dipper up and do not swat any bugs."

Manly Dan walked out the door with Red and Purple leaving their hiding spot. "That's your father?!" asked Red.

"Uh huh." answered Wendy. "That's Manly Dan. That's why literally no one messes with him or the family."

"And he's going to beat the stuffing out of Zim?" asked Purple.

"When he catches him." Wendy smirked when the two gleed. "Boy, Zim must sure be a pain."

"You have no idea." said Red. "You should have seen him in Impending Doom. He nearly destroyed his target planet."

"But isn't that his job?" asked Wendy.

"It wasn't his assigned planet, it was our HOME planet!" Purple blurted out.

"Ohhhh my gosh!" Wendy gasped. "How did he mess that up?"

"Who knows." said Red. "After that, we banished him to serve on a food court planet, but when Impending Doom II was about to begin, he quit his banishment."

"Wait, he QUIT his banishment?" Wendy started to laugh.

"So to finally get him out of our antennas, we sent him to a 'mystery' planet that no one ever heard of." said Purple. "We gave him a default SIR unit with stuff from our pockets as brains, and he flew off toward a random direction forever."

"Which turned out our world's Earth was located. Who knew?" Red said. "The planet didn't seem interesting at all."

Wendy chuckled, but soon realized something. "Wait a minute. Impending Doom, inter-galactic empire, Invaders." Wendy gasped. "Why didn't I see this before? You guys are evil tyrants!"

In fear of losing a cool friend, Purple took out a ray-gun device and zapped her mind.

"Environmentalists. Gottcha. I'll be in the Gift Shop." Wendy walked back to her post.

"Purple." said Red. "Do not tell her anything about our awesome jobs."

"Or else she'll send her father after us!" They both gulped. "What do you think having a dad would be like?"

They spend the next hour hanging out with Wendy. They would eat plenty of snacks, crack jokes, tell how boring some things are, and even told their experiences in their home worlds (with the Tallest replacing doom-related stuff with nature stuff).

"Dance party!" Wendy turned the radio on and the three started dancing as Soos did the worm.

"Hey, I'm in the story again!"

But then their little party was stopped by a tall, dark, gloomy man wearing a black trench coat, bowler hat, and sunglasses walked into the shop. "Good Evening." The man said.

"It's noon." said Purple.

"Lunch!" The Tallest took out a brown-paper bag and gulped down whatever they've packed.

The man walked toward the counter. "I'm looking for this Garlic King." He took out a poster from the Garlic Festival. "I vant to suck his blood, I mean congratulate him for promoting the _abomination_ of Garlic." His whispers did nothing to fool Wendy. She eyed around her post for anything anti-vampire related.

"Sorry, he's not here." Seeing that nothing good was around, she turned to Soos. "Soos, do you know where the Garlic King is? Or what type of metal do you have on you?"

Soos thought for a moment. "He should be with Dipper and Dib. Dipper's the one with the blue and white hat and with bloodtype A."

"Bloodtype A?!" With that, the man removed his hat and sunglasses to reveal his pale skin, black eyes, and long fangs. "Let me suck his blood!" He sprouted batwings which scared the Tallest.

Wendy drew out her trusty axe and tried slashing at the vampire, but he dodged every move.

"Blah Blah. You cannot defeat Count Bracula!"

"B-Bracula, seriously?"

Count Bracula flew out the window before Wendy could stab his heart with a rib-eyed steak. "I will be enjoying the sweet taste of his blood. Blah!" Wendy, Soos, and the Tallest ran outside to see the vampire flying away. "Ow, the sun is burning my face and wings!"

"He's after Dipper!" shouted Wendy. "We have to save him and ….. Soos. How'd you know his blood type?"

Soos just shrugged.

"Whatever!" Wendy and Soos jumped in the nearest cart and drove after the vampire, leaving the Tallest alone.

"Wanna eat more snacks or give humans more stupid advice?" asked Red.

"BOTH!"

**End of Chapter**

**Count Bracula is my original character.**

**6-15-18-5-19-8-1-4-15-23-9-14-7**


	7. Alpha Single

**A/N: **This fanfiction currently has 1,200 views.

Also; I appreciate some of the reviews I have so far. Normally I would respond to reviews with people who have actual accounts, but I want to ask the 'guest' who'd last gave a review.

'I will not have Wendy focus on putting Zim down. She's just friends with the Tallest. She'll treat Zim normally later. For Mabel, am I writing her character wrong or do you just don't like her at all?'

* * *

**Chapter 7: **Alpha Single

In the forest of Gravity Falls; Mabel led Zim and Mini-Moose to locate Dib and her brother while GIR rode on top of Mabel's head.

"Onwards!" Mabel jumped up some boulders sitting on a hillside. "Come on, Zim! We have to help my brother discover the unknown."

Zim followed Mabel, without tiring out. "An elite invader will consider this wilderness child play. We'll locate the Dib Human and find the secrets of Gravity Falls first."

"No way!" Mabel turned around as GIR kept his head in the same location. "Dipper and I are a team. The Mystery Twins." Mabel twirled around which made GIR's head twirl the other way at a faster speed, non-stop. "We've found gnomes, ghosts, a robot-sea monster, live wax figures, and a dream demon."

Zim paid close attention to what Mabel said. "Really, those sound much more dangerous than what the Grunkle Stan said." Zim grinned. "Perhaps you'll help me conquer my world's Earth with your knowledge of the mysteries."

Mabel closed her eyes and smiled. "Not by the hair on my heady-head-head!"

"I'm your hair!" GIR said after stopping his head. "The world can spin."

"Tell meeeeeee!"

"Why?" Mabel asked with a smile.

Mabel question caught Zim off guard. "Why, because I'm Invader Zim!"

"Why?"

"I was raised in a tube to become an Invader."

"Why?"

"Because the Irken Empire needs more invaders."

"Why?"

"For Universal Conquest!"

"Why?"

"Because the Almighty Tallest demands it!"

"Why?"

"Because … uhh." Zim thought for a moment. "Because they are the Tallest."

"Why?" Mabel just continued to grin.

"That …. I won't fall for any of your Human mind tricks!" Zim looked around and gasped. "You were trying to stall me while your brother and Dib find all the secrets!" Zim looked at GIR. "GIR, seized the Mabel Syrup!"

"_Master, I obey!_" GIR said in his serious mode, but instead he hugged Mabel. "Awwww_._"

Mabel returned the hug. "You're so adorable. But not as adorable as Waddles."

"Piggy!_"_

Zim slapped himself. "Fine, Mini-Moose, we're leaving the Mabel Syrup girl and GIR here."

"Squerk."

Zim and his minion ran off, leaving Mabel smiling. "They're not getting away that easily." Mabel held onto GIR and took out her trademark item. "Grappling Hook!" She shot at a tree branch and swung toward Zim.

Zim looked behind him and yelled as Mabel leaped onto him and they tumbled down hill. "Unhand me!"

Mabel jumped up with joy as GIR flipped into the air. "Now are you going to listen to me and find ….. Dipper?"

Mabel looked forward and saw Dib and Dipper who have already captured Count Bracula in a sack. "That was so awesome!" Dipper cheered.

"I can't believe I decoded that message that led us to this anti-vampire sack." said Dib. "Which we used to capture this guy that came out of nowhere!" Dib then put on a home-made sweater. "And it even came with a sweater." Dib held his arms up into the air and grinned just like Mabel.

Mabel's pupils shrink as she watched the two laughed.

"Now it's time to get some answered." Dipper held out a garlic juice-water gun and pointed it at the vampire. "Alright, are you the vampire that can travel between different universes and brought my friend here and an alien?"

"FRIEND!" Dib shouted.

"Watch where you yell. My ears are huge." Count Bracula looked at Dipper. "I do not know what you are talking about, blah. I came here to kill the Garlic King so nothing will threaten me as I suck the blood of all of Gravity Falls."

Zim gasped. "You plotted to assassinate me! NEVER!"

Dib turned around and to see his arch nemesis. "Zim. Thought you could attack from behind, huh?"

Mabel walked to Dipper as Dib and Zim argued. "Dipper, I thought you were going to wait for me."

"Sorry Mabel." Dipper scratched the back of his head. "Dib ran up ahead and it was hard enough to catch up to him. Then later on this vampire attacked and we had to act quickly."

Mabel then smiled. "Well now it looks like I'll be joining the rest of the day."

Dipper, however, had something else to say. "About that. I've checked the journal and it looks like there may be a clue about this vampire. And it will lead to this cave filled with male-harpies that will take metal from anything sooooo."

"I understand." Mabel lowered her head and walked away.

Dipper felt completely bad about this see Mabel walk away without asking if the male harpies were hot. He hadn't done anything with Mabel lately and who know how much longer Dib will be around. He also can't shake off the strong bond he shared with his new paranormal buddy.

Then Dib grabbed a hold of Dipper's neck. "Come on! Let's go!"

"I don't think so." The two boys looked at Zim with Mini-Moose and GIR ready for combat. "You are going to hand that book over to me. I'll find this vampire and soon I'll conquer Earth! Well not this Earth."

And suddenly Manly Dan appeared out of nowhere. "You're the green kid that crashed into my house and broke into my daughter's room!"

Zim shrieked in fear by the humongous muscle man. "AAAAAAAHHHH!" Thinking quickly, Zim pointed to the vampire. "That guy paid me to crash your house and …. to bring your daughter to him ….. he was holding my dog hostage!" Zim grabbed onto GIR, who did not had his disguise on. "GIR, I told you to keep your disguise on in our Earth's public!"

"But this isn't our Earth or our world." GIR smiled.

Manly Dan turned his cracking neck at the now frightened vampire. "Raaaaaah!" Manly Dan unleashed his primal rage through his giant fists onto the vampire; beating the undead monster to the ground.

"Get em, Get em." said Tyler standing right beside the fight scene.

As everyone was slowly backing away from the violence, Wendy and Soos pulled in and jumped into action, before seeing Manly Dan taking care of the problem. "Way-a-go dad." Wendy then turned to give Dipper a hug. "Did that vampire bite you? I was so worried."

"Uhhhh, I'm not Dipper." Wendy looked and saw that she was hugging Dib.

"Sorry." She let him go and turned to hug the actual Dipper. "That guy came to the Mystery Shack looking for Zim; then Soos told him about your blood type and got away."

Dipper blushed lightly. "Well I could have taken care of him ….. Soos knows my blood type?"

Wendy released Dipper and hopped back to the chart. Dipper whispered to Dib. "Whatever you do, don't fall in love with Wendy."

Dib was a bit confused by Dipper's advice. "Why. It was just one random hug. And she's way too old for me. I'm not going to try getting her attention that will no doubt fail."

Dipper stood there. "Yeah … heh heh. Good think I didn't try a complicated list involving clones or constantly time traveled to fix one mistake."

When the Mystery Team left; Zim caught up with Mabel, catching his breath. "That human's terrifying!" Zim noticed the look on Mabel's face, sad and worried. "What's the matter with you?"

"Yeah_._" GIR sat on her knee as Mini-Moose rested on her head. "You don't look happy. What's wrong?"

Mabel sighed. "I don't know. I guess I'm just worried that Dipper will spend all his time this summer with his new friend. And I'll be left out when he finds awesome stuff like werewolves and trolls."

"Awwww." GIR patted Mabel on the nose. "Poor Mabel. She's being just as lonely was I was when Master won't leave the couch when Dib gave up stopping him_._"

"That was a dark time." said Zim. "But this is good for me. Since Dib is distracted by his rip-off version, I'll uncover all the secrets!"

"Yaaaaaay!" GIR stretched his arms and wrapped Mabel and Zim in a hug. "We'll start our own team! Let's find a mystery!"

* * *

At the bowling alley, GIR found something mysterious. "Cheese fries!" The robot filled himself with a serving of fries. "Cheese forever!"

Mabel and Zim started a game of bowling and were doing quite well. "This game is interesting." Zim said to himself. "Those pins remind me of filthy humans and the ball reminds me of ME!" Zim toss the bowling ball and made a strike. "Mwa ha ha ha!" Zim sat down with Mabel who was still feeling bad. "Forget about your brother." Zim said. "You are now my new minion. Tell me the mysteries!"

Mabel sighed. "Now I know how Dipper felt when I started hanging out with Grenda and Candy." Mabel then gasped. "If I continued to mope, we'll end up repeating a plot."

"I'll take the wall to the hospital_." _said GIR.

Mabel paced around. "If you and Dib are gonna be staying here, we have to be on the same level, which means I have to make Dib less likable."

"I love to make Dib life miserable." said Zim. "But I want to make enemies with that human over there. Or perhaps make her a minion too."

On another lane, Pacifica Northwest noticed she was the center of attention.

"Her party didn't start yet_._" said GIR. "_ENEMY_!"

Mabel thought about Dib. "Let's see. He's just like Dipper, only more crazy. Now what normally happens that will put his paranormal research aside …. Aha!"

* * *

"And that's why you got to make Dib form a crush on you." Mabel, Zim, GIR, and Mini-Moose were speaking to Wendy at the Mystery Shack.

"How'd we get here?" asked Zim.

"Woah Mabel, I see what you're trying to do, but I am not going to fool around with a person like that; especially to a kid. It will be just as terrible if I did the same with Dipper, and I already let him down easily."

Mabel jumped on the counter to beg. "Well can you at least be your bad-butt self just for a chance of Dib drawing your face on a pillow to kiss it? Just like Dipper did with you." Mabel quickly covered her mouth as Red and Purple laughed in the background. "Sorry, don't hate Dipper now."

Wendy awkwardly looked at Mabel. "Well ….. I know he's just a kid and turning thirteen soon. I'll let it slide and won't think of it as too disturbing."

(Flashback to three years)

A twelve year old Wendy drew a face of a young super hero on a pillow. "Kiss me, Super Boy!" She pushed her face into the drawing and made out with it.

(End Flashback)

Wendy shifted her eyes as Mabel hopped off the counter. "Well she's out of the picture. There have to be another girl who will make Dib go crazy …. Love crazy."

"What about that blonde rich human that will only be a stereotype forever?" asked Zim.

Just then, Mabel's friends Grenda and Candy came bursting through the door. "Did someone mentioned Pacifica's party?"

Mabel looked at her two single friends. "And I know two likely candidates."

Mabel brought the two girls outside and went over her goal. "Alright, girls. I need one of you to lure Dib with your amazing charm. Who's in?"

Candy was handed a photo of Dib. "Hmmmm. So he's a crazy version of Dipper. Sorry, I don't want to risk any crazy people liking me. And I don't want to sound mean, but he's way out of my league."

Candy handed the photo to Grenda. "Ha, I'll do it. This will be too easy."

Mabel smiled. "Great! Now Dib will be distracted enough for me to spend time with Dipper!"

"Uhhhhhh, Mabel." Mabel looked to her right and there stood Dipper and Dib. "Were you planning to have Grenda to have Dib like her so you can spend more time with me?"

Grenda saw Dib and ran right to him. "Hey, you got something on your shirt." Dib looked down, but Grenda flipped his nose. "Ha, loser!" Then Grenda noticed Dib was wearing a sweater just like Mabel. "Wow, what a rip-off. You're not worthy to like me."

Dib stood back in fear.

Dipper looked at the guilty Mabel. "I'm sorry, Dipper. I was feeling left out and I didn't want you to spend time with Dib through the entire summer." Mabel dragged her foot on the ground. "I guess it's the same way you felt when I was spending time with Grenda and Candy.

Dipper sighed. "I'm sorry Mabel. I guess I got caught up too." The two kids sat on a log. "You, Soos, and Wendy are great friends. But Dib and I have a lot in common. It was like I finally found someone you didn't think I was paranoid without going through a crazy adventure first." Dipper looked back at Dib facing a mirror. "And between you and me; I think the closest think he has for a friend back home is his arch enemy, Zim."

Mabel looked at Dib dancing. "I have a friend! I have a friend! We're all all sort of fun like hunting monsters, knitting sweaters, wearing stickers." He stopped and gave his sweater wearing self a good look. "Am I going insane?"

"VICTORY!" cheered Zim.

Mabel felt sympathy for Dib. "Poor thing." She walked to him and straightens out his sweater. "Don't worry. I'll be your friend too."

"You will?" asked Dib with big puppy dog eyes.

"Me too_._"

"GIIIIIR! He's the enemy!"

Mabel removed Dib's glasses and wiped off a smug. "I'm Mabel Pines, and I am part of the Mystery Twins." When the preteen placed the glasses back on Dib, their eyes met and Mabel's pupils grew large and her mouth opened in aww.

"Oh boy." Dipper said, knowing all too well where this was going.

"What, what's happening?" Dib looked at Mabel who was now giggling.

"Heh heh, noooothing!" her check turned red and sparkles filled her eyes.

Dib stepped back as Candy and Grenda commented. "Go Mabel." "Hubba hubba."

Dib glanced around. "What do you want with me?"

"YOU!" shouted Mabel. "Aha, I'm joking!" she shoved Dib down, which unfortunately was down a hill. "I'm coming for you!" she stumbled down the hill purposely.

Dipper and Zim looked down the hill to see Dib running from Mabel. "Should have seen this coming. Mabel has a crush on Dib now."

"Mabel's going to crush Dib? Excellent!"

* * *

At night, on the side of the road, Count Bracula crawled his way out of the forest. "Blah …. Blah …. Need more blood …. Lost so much." He looked down the street and saw a very large and fat animal. "Good … come to me." He crawled his way toward the animal. "Listen to my voice ….. obey me …."

The animal turned around to reveal its large red eyes. It made a horrifying shriek at the beaten vampire.

"Oh no, another vampire!" Count Bracula motioned his arms. "Calm yourself, I am a friend."

The beast looked at the vampire, but chomped him down in one bite. It shrieked one more time before disappearing in a zap.

But then, another zap happened and a small being appeared, floating in midair. "Boy, that guy sure was hungry. But I lost him again. My client won't be happy about this." The being leaned on a cane and pondered to himself. "I think I'll check in on that crazy kid and the so called 'invader'." The being laughed maniacally before vanishing.

**End of Chapter**

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	8. Ship Wars

**Chapter 8**: Ship Wars

Dipper arose from bed in the morning. "Aw, that was a good night." He scratched himself and saw that Mabel's bed was empty. "Up early as usual." He slowly turned his head. "Wonder if Dib … oh no."

Dipper was now looking at Mabel standing next to Dib's bed. Breathing deeply as Dib held onto his sheets. "Please .. go away."

Mabel continued to breathe psychotically with her large pupils tracking Dib's every move.

"Mabel, how long were you standing there for?" asked Dipper.

"All night." Mabel answered. "Now Dib. When you go home, take me with you…."

Dib let out a small yelp as Zim examined the situation. "Well, it appears you fear the Mabel. Yes yeeees. I can use this to be rid of you once and for all!"

Dib glanced at the alien and to Mabel. "No, I must stop Zim." Dib sat up, but Mabel leaned on his bed, forcing him to stay put. "Do you want breakfast in bed? I'll make an omelet in the shape of you perfect big head."

"_And I'll make waffles in the shape of Waddles!_" GIR proclaimed as he rode the pig inside. "_Grunkle Stan said that if I yell again he's gonna blow up my head with a gun."_

"And I refuse to reconsider!" Stan yelled from downstairs.

Mabel rushed to the door. "One birthday-cake flavored omelet coming right up."

When she left, Dib jumped out of his bed. "What does she want with me?"

Dipper sighed. "She has a crush on you."

Dib looked at Dipper with disbelief. "Really? What did I do to get her like that?"

"Don't take it too seriously. She has a new crush every week."

"Oh … wait, what happen to the other crushes?!"

Zim grinned with excitement. "Perhaps she ate them."

Dib yelled in fear the loudest he can.

"Hey, I already gave a death threat to the robot!" shouted Stan from downstairs.

Dib jumped on top of Dipper's head. "Save me, friend who believes me!"

Dipper shook Dib off. "Relax. You're not going to get hurt. Well seriously hurt. Just wait for this to pass."

Dib took Dipper's word the best he could. He slowly walked down the steps and into the kitchen where Mabel had prepared Dib's omelet, right next to where she sat. "Come here. Sit."

Dib cautiously followed Mabel's offer. He looked at the omelet and took a bite. "Wow, this is real good."

Mabel held in a glee. "He likes it!" Mabel thought to herself. "And you can have some Mabel juice to wash it down."

"Your what?!"

Mabel placed a pitcher of her self-made juice; juice with plastic dinosaurs in it.

"Oh, that. Isn't that hazardous?"

Mabel laughed. "Naaaaw."

Dib took a small sip from the juice, but then suddenly felt a burst of energy. "Wow, what's you put in this?"

"Everything!"

Dib jumped out from his chair and his feet started stomping non-stop. "IthinkI' !"

Dib bolted pass Dipper and Zim to go off to distances unknown. "Mabel, what sort of magic did you enchant him with?" asked Zim "I want it too. Gimme."

"I'm not breaking that kind of law." Grunkle Stan walked in with a newspaper. "The Mystery Shack is closed today. Enjoy some rest and relaxation and not break anything, while I watch some good old T.V."

Then GIR sat on Stan's shoulder. "_I wanna watch the monkey_."

"Forget the Used to Be about Animal Planet. We're watching a classic."

When they left, Dipper decided it was best to get to know Zim since Dib ran off and Mabel chased after him. They walked outside to see Red and Purple relaxing.

"Good morning, my Tallest."

"Shouldn't it be Tallests?" asked Dipper.

Zim shrugged. "I'm off to search for more mysteries. I'll continue to follow your order and make my searches far away from you."

Red laughed. "Good for you, Zim. We'll keep an eye on that boy over there." The Tallest point and laughed at Dib running around the totem pole as Mabel sat their patiently.

"He'll tire out and rest his head on my lap as I feed him grapes." Waddles walked beside her. "And you'll start a conversation about pigs."

Dipper shook his head. "Well looks like Mabel won't be joining me today. Even though we had a sibling moment yesterday." Dipper took out the journal. "And that harpy cave didn't have anything. Maybe the manotaurs know something."

Zim glanced at Dipper's journal and saw the page about the Manotaurs. "Half humans and half cow. Let me see!" Zim snatched the book from Dipper, angering the boy very quickly.

"Hey, don't touch that!" Dipper tackled Zim to the ground. "You don't know what you're doing!"

Zim kicked Dipper away. "I have your book! Now all the secrets are mine!" Zim activated his spider legs from his pack and climbed up the trees. "Now let's see. Gnomes, bats, belly-faced duck, ghost, that dream guy in that one movie."

Dipper climbed up a tree Zim perched at. "That book is too valuable to the world. Give it back."

Zim skimmed through the pages and found a new article Dipper wrote himself. "Love God? Love Potions?" Zim read about how Mabel took a love potion from a Love God and gotten Robbie and Tambry together. "This is amazing. If everyone's in love with each other, they'll be defenseless and I'll conquer them all!"

Dipper leaped at Zim and they tumbled back to the ground. Dipper picked his book up. "You're crazy! Do you have any idea what could have happened?"

Zim brushed himself off. "I do know. I would never know about this Love God. Now I'm off to track this God down. It may take me all year to find him, but I will!"

But then Dib ran by with Mabel holding something. "Come on, try this love potion I got from the Love God's ibay page!" Mabel dropped a spray bottle of the potion. Zim and Dipper glanced at it and wrestled for it.

"Gimme that potion!" "No, I won't let you do something stupid!"

"Me, do something stupid?" Zim punched Dipper in the gut and took the bottle. "If I'm stupid, then why did the Tallest send me on a top secret mission?"

Dipper was about to say something involving the Tallest, but the green alien cut him off.

"Aha, you couldn't answer fast enough! Now you shall face the almighty might of Zim!"

Zim looked to his right and Wendy walked in. "Hey doofus and real invader. What's up?"

Acting quickly, Zim sprayed the potion in Wendy face and ran off.

"Wendy!" Wendy opened her eyes and her pupils turned into pink hearts. Dipper stopped dead in his tracks, knowing what's to come. "Dipper, listen up. She's no longer your crush. She is one of your best friends and she's too old for me. Even if you still trying to win her, this is a horrible way." Dipper then heard smooching from Wendy. He opened his eyes and saw that Wendy fell in love with the totem pole.

"Where have you been all my life?"

Dipper walked away awkwardly, turning his focus on Zim. "Where did that failure of an invader go? Did that rhyme, am I rhyming?"

Dipper made his way down town and saw Zim spraying everyone. "Love that person, love that human, love that dog, love that horse. And Looooooooove that mailbox! Loooove, Loooooove, Looooooooove!" Zim had sprayed Sprott, Toby Determined, Blind Ivan, and Blendin Blandin, whom all fell in love with random objects.

Dipper passed Tyler kissing a tennis racket and Thompson proposing to a wood chipper.

"This is getting too stupid. I have to find Zim before everyone's fall in love with objects." But then Dipper bumped into someone with glasses. "Sorry!" Dipper picked the glasses up and placed them back. "Candy? I didn't see you there aaaaaand Zim sprayed you, did he?"

Candy looked at Dipper with heart eyes. "Dipper, I haven't noticed you up close." She blushed lightly. "You know, I'm single and free now!"

Dipper ran away as Candy gave chase. "I got to find Zim and put an end to all this. At this rate, all of Gravity Falls will be in love!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Mystery Shack, Grunkle Stan and GIR were watching 'The Duchess Approves'. "_Grunkle Stan?"_ GIR asked in an innocent voice. "_Why is this show better than the monkey?_"

Grunkle Stan whipped off a single tear drop. "Just keep watching. Just keep watching."

* * *

After passing several more love sick people, Dipper finally caught up to Zim who held the bottle at Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, not taking the situation seriously. "Aww, look Durland. Our little Garlic King is threatening us. Isn't that delightful."

Zim tilted his head. "You think being threatening is delightful? You two are weird, but you still refer to me as your Garlic King. You may be spared."

Zim noticed Dipper. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Dib's Clone. You are running out of time. I've already cursed a majority of this town's filthy humans with love sickness." He pointed the bottle at Dipper. "Prepare to share their fate, Dib Clone!" Suddenly, Candy swiped the bottle from him. The alien gasped. "You dare take what is mine?"

Candy then took out a mirror and showed it to Zim, who for some reason thought his reflection was another him. "Ahhhh, what is this?! Another one of Gravity Falls's mysteries?"

As Zim threatened the mirror for answers in the background, Candy walked up to Dipper with a smile on her face. "I've gotten this back."

Dipper was relieved that Zim was now occupied and no longer has the potion. "Thanks, Candy. That alien was making people fall in love with each other."

"You don't say?"

Dipper's instincts kicked in when he saw the look on Candy's face. "Candy, you were sprayed too, you don't really love me."

Candy moved in closer. "Just one little spray would be better. Come here, Dippy!"

Dipper dodged the spray and ran for his life. They passed by Zim who noticed the situation. "They still have my potion." Zim turned to his reflection. "I'll be back for you …. STOP COPYING ME!"

Dipper stopped and hid behind a mail box as Candy passed by him. "That was close, I have to find Mabel. Maybe she has the cure." He poked his head up and saw no sign of Candy, but did see Zim coming. He ducked down and Zim stopped in front of the mail box. "Don't think I didn't see you, Dib Clone!" Zim then jumped, inside the mailbox. "Think you can hide in these letters? I'll find you and take my potion back!"

Dipper stood up and shook his head. "How stupid is he?"

"I say -10 out of 618." Dipper gasped and fell down, but to his relief it was only Grenda.

"Oh it's just you. Listen, you have to help my find Candy, she's under a spell and now blindly loves me."

Grenda was surprised by what Dipper said. "Candy has a crush on you? O.M.G. I'm so giving you two reserves to the fanciest restaurant in Gravity Falls."

Then Candy appeared. "I got you, Dippy!" Candy sprayed toward Dipper, but the boy dodged and the potion and went straight to Grenda.

"Oh no." Dipper said as Grenda looked straight at Dipper. "Dipper's mine!" Grenda aggressively turned to Candy and threw her far away, landing on somewhere soft, hopefully. "Now where are you, mystery boy?" The girl looked around and saw no sigh of Dipper. "Oh my, playing hard to get. Challenge accepted!"

Grenda ran away from the mailbox, but then Zim and Dipper squeezed their way out of it. "That was too close." Dipper said while catching his breath.

"So my love potion is already harming you the same why Dib is. Oh this is too perfect. Victory for Zim."

Dipper sighed. "Zim, why are you doing this? I mean the invading, world dominating? All of it?"

"I won't fall for the same mind trick Mabel used against Ziiiiim!"

The boy became furious with the annoying alien, but soon thought of a way to get him to do as he says. "You know, since that bottle is not in your superior hands, some human worm might fall in love with you who will do love stuff to prevent your success. Or worst, you might fall in love."

Zim was silent for a moment, and gasped of realization. "Nooo, I refuse to be a love puppet!" Zim grabbed onto Dipper's wrist and dragged him toward a random direction. "We must find Mabel and find a cure for Zim!"

After passing more love sick people, they found Dib sitting in a tree and Mabel leaning on the trunk, looking bored.

"So ….. anything else in your life that doesn't include the paranormal?"

Dib pondered. "No …. Paranormal Investigating have been my life … wow, I really need more hobbies. I mean really."

Mabel sighed. "Mark him off the list." She then noticed Dipper and Zim stopping in front of her.

"Mabel, please tell me you have the antidote for the love potion?" Dipper pointed at Zim. "He'd sprayed everyone in town and now Grenda and Candy are after me!"

Mabel's pupils grew. "They do!?" She gleed loudly, which attracted both Candy and Grenda.

"LOVE US!"

"Ahhhhh!" Dipper climbed up the tree for safety. He and Dib looked down at the two girls who were scratching the tree to try climbing like a pack of dogs. "Mabel, cure them!"

Mabel took out a spray bottle of the antidote, which was the perfect opportunity for Zim to swipe if off her. "Aha! I have the antidote!" Zim then used his spider leg and picked up Dipper by the vest. "Trade for that bottle?"

Grenda toss the bottle and caught Dipper, right before Candy tackled them.

Zim grinned at the bottles and held them up, spraying the love potion accidentally. "Now that I have both! I shall rule Gravity Falls! Mwa ha ha ha!" Then Zim heard sniffing. He turned and screamed at the sight of a bear standing next to him. He looked deep in the bear's eyes and saw hearts. "Noooooo!" Zim screamed as he dropped the bottles.

The bear roared in affection and chased after Zim into the woods.

"Wow, he does stink at his job." Mabel proudly picked the bottles up. "Now let's cure Grenda and Candy." She looked at her two friends playing tug-a-war with Dipper in the middle. After snapping a photo, she sprayed the antidote on Grenda first, who let go and caused Dipper and Candy to tumble.

"Where am I?"

She looked at Candy suffocating Dipper with a hug and sprayed her too. Candy stopped and looked at Dipper, with a serious glare in her eyes. "You're not Gabe." She pushed Dipper aside and walked away.

"Well that's taken care of." Dipper stood up and brushed himself. "So Mabel, how's Dib."

Mabel shrugged. "He's wayyyy into the paranormal. He really needs to go out and found other stuff to do. He's too not my type."

"Oh." Dipper looked up at Dib. "She's over you, you can come down."

Dib jumped out of the tree. "Thank goodness." He looked around the area and saw no sign of Zim. "Zim has once again been defeated. But he shall return to seek his desire to enslave us all! But I shall always be there to protect the Earth from the forces of Evil! Dib, Defender of Earth!"

"You're right, Mabel. He does need a hobby."

"I say we teach him how to bedazzle his face!"

Dib rubbed his neck. "I dunno about that." He looked at a kid in the distance. "We should first cure everyone. That pony-tailed boy is kissing puppets."

"That's ….. normal for him."

As the three started to cure the townfolks, someone was watching them, laughing his heart out. "Oh boy, that was hilarious. I don't see why my client wants Bighead, Terrible Invader, and all their friends out of that world for the week. They're hilarious!"

The being floated out of the shadows. He was a floating pyramid creature with a single eye, small black limbs, a bowtie, a top hat, and cane. "I have got to get pictures of the alien and bear's wedding. I wonder if female bears eat their mates?"

The being looked at Dipper and Mabel. "Well Pine Tree and Shooting Star, don't expect this to be care free, that Vampire will come eventually and I might use this for an advantage. That is if I can track the beast down before he does anything that might _break_ my deal. But now I must laugh at people that's too dumb to figure out I'm me, Bill Cipher."

Bill Cipher vanished, to places unknown.

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Grunkle Stan and a disguised GIR walked out of the building crying. "Why?" GIR dabbed a tear with a tissue. "He had his chance at the Catalina."

Stan sniffed. "I know, how could she do that?!" Stan stopped when he saw Wendy kissing a Totem pole as Purple and Red studied this.

"Is this a normal human activity?"

Stan ran to Wendy. "Alright, was this paranormal, the aliens, or did your friends give you something?!"

**End of Chapter.**

* * *

23-5-14-4-25

8-1-4

12-5-19-19

3-8-1-18-1-3-20-5-18

4-5-22-5-12-15-16-13-5-14-20

20-8-1-14

16-1-3-9-6-9-3-1


	9. They're Quite a Pair-O

**Well, a Tale of Two Stans had finally been aired. So amazing! And to top it all off, even Invader Zim have returned! There is now a graphic novel series available! I swear I am not making that up!**

**Chapter 8:** They're Quite a Pair-O

"Well, that's everyone." Dipper said as they just cured the Pool Guard that was about to buy a ring to the pool.

"Where am I?" The Pool Guard looked around and saw the ring in his hand. "Oh that's right." He walked away, making the children feel even more awkward.

"O.K….. I think we need a break." said Dib.

"Wait a minute." Mabel turned Dib to her. "I'm serious when I said you need more hobbies. You can't be paranoid all your life. Take my brother for example."

"What?" Dipper glared at Mabel.

"When he's not looking through that old book, he usually doing kid fun with me! Or sweat a lot when he's talking to Wendy."

"I'm over her, remember."

Mabel poked his nose. "I know, but you will do that for your next crush."

Dib noticed his reflection in a window. "You're right, Mabel. I do need hobbies. I can't remember the last time I wasn't doing anything involving the paranormal or saving the Earth."

"And I got the perfect idea for you." Mabel said.

* * *

The kids went back to the Mystery Shack. "I say we …. Ooops, we forgot to cure Wendy."

Wendy was holding hands with the totem pole, speaking to Stan, GIR, and the Tallest. "You can't separate us! I've finally found the perfect boy who isn't selfish, manipulative, or hateful. We're happy."

Dipper walked by and sprayed the cure on her. Wendy looked around and noticed how she was holding onto the pole. "What happened?"

Grunkle Stan pointed at Wendy with confusion. "Love God's Potion." Dipper explained before he, Dib, and Mabel walked inside and entered the attic.

"Now where'd I put him?" Mabel dug around the room while tossing some Easter Eggs.

"Mabel, why do you have actual Easter Eggs?" asked Dipper.

"Because!" she cheered while tossing confetti into the air. She grinned at Dib and pulled something out. "Welcome to the wonderful world of Bear-O!"

"Heya." Mabel controlled her childhood puppet and faced the two boys. "Do you have any honey?"

"Ahhhhh!" Both boys screamed. "Mabel, not this! Anything but that!"

Dib jumped onto Dipper's head. "What is that abomination!?"

"He's my childhood puppet, Bear-O." Mabel explained. "I can't _bear_ to see you afraid of him."

"Did someone say bear?" Mabel said in Bear-O's voice.

Dipper tossed Dib down. "Mabel, how many times do I have to tell you that thing is nightmare fuel?"

Mabel pondered. "What day is it?"

Then GIR came in. "I think he's adorable!"

"Horray! See, GIR's smart enough."

Dipper sighed. "We're getting off topic."

"Yeah." Dib said. "I need a hobby that I like."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Then Zim climbed through the window. "But first I must rub my story in your filthy face. So there I was and that bear. I was going to vaporize it, but then these evil humans whom call themselves Peeeetaaaaaaa protected the bear with their signs and shouting! So I started shooting these Peeetaaaaa humans, but they threw stuff at me like soda cans and food without meat! They were no match against ZIIIIIIM, so I OH GREAT PIG CLOUD! WHAT IS THAT HORRIFYING THING?!"

Zim yelled at the sight of Bear-O and jumped on Dipper's head. "Take him!" Zim pulled up Dipper's hair to show his birthmark. "His head has something on it!"

"Get off!" Dipper shook Zim off, covering his birthmark. "That's just Mabel's nightmarish puppet."

"Her puppet?" Zim gasped. "The Mabel Syrup human is capable of controlling demons? Teach me!"

"No, teach me!" Dib jumped in. "I won't allow Zim to become more powerful!"

Mabel looked at them and got an idea. "O.K., I'll be you two teachers at the arts of Bear-O."

Zim and Dib glared at each other. "Why both?"

"Because I said so. Duh." Mabel grinned. "Now let's begin!"

* * *

The group is now located in the diner where Lazy Susan was serving pancakes.

"Watch and learn." Mabel and Bear-O sat at the counter. "Hello, Susan. Wanna meet my childhood puppet?" Mabel shoved Bear-O in Susan's face. "Can I have pancakes with honey?"

Susan looked into the puppet's dead eyes and retreated under the counter for dear life.

"Now you." Mabel handed Bear-O to Zim.

"Fascinating." Zim sat on the counter and talked in his normal voice for Bear-O. "I am Bear-O! Give me your soul for Zim!"

Zim then met with a gruesome fate as Lazy Susan came back up with a baseball bat. "Die monster!" She swung the bat and instead hit Zim. She continued attacking the alien as Mabel slowly removed the puppet.

"Maybe we should try somewhere else."

* * *

Their next stop is at the ice cream pallor. After Mabel got an cone, she noticed Robbie getting some ice cream for Tambry.

"Alright, Dib. I want you to go to that couple and sing the Bear-O song." Mabel pushed Dib to Robbie as the others sit far away.

"Hi." Dib cleared his throat and made a deep voice. "I'm Bear-O and-" Dib cut himself upon looking at Robbie's slightly irritated, pale face. "A Zombie! Don't dare take another step you flesh eating undead vulture buffet!"

"And just like that, I prefer Dipper over this kid." Robbie handed Tambry the ice cream, picked Dib up by the jacket, and hung him on a nearby branch. Robbie snorted and turned away, but caught eyes with Bear-O. They gazed at each other for a while until Robbie builds up the courage and took Tambry away slowly.

"Well that didn't work." Mabel picked up the puppet. "Do you know what this means?"

Dipper sighed. "Try another-"

"More Bear-O!"

* * *

"And nothing says more Bear-O than entertaining small kids at the library!" Mabel was standing up with Zim and Dib as they were about to entertain the children.

The children shrieked in terror as Mabel took out Bear-O. "They're quite a pair. Mabel and Bear-O. Her unbearliveable bear!" Bear-O's arms fell out and all the children ran away screaming. The only one enjoying this and aware of the terror was Zim.

"Yes, scream all of you! Fear in terror!"

Dipper sighed. "Mabel, no one in this world will ever not pee themselves in fear from that thing!"

Then Mabel's ex crush Gabe walked by. "My, what a magnificent puppet …. Yet in the hands of a puppet slayer." Gabe eyed the puppet. "I believe he deserve a better partner."

Mabel looked at Dib and Zim. "Hey guys. Gabe here wants Bear-O. Wanna zap him?"

Zim drew out his zapper as Dib drew out nothing. "Step away from the beast I shall control!" Zim threatened as Dib looked at his empty hand.

Gabe walked away, sweating for dear life.

"I'm single!" shouted Candy who ran after him.

"Alright, this is getting nowhere." Said Dib, fed up with Bear-O

"Dib is right. How unusual." Zim said. "Tell me how to control Bear-O! Now!"

Mabel laughed. "He's just a puppet. Nothing supernatural. See?" Mabel moved Bear-O around. "I have no strings to hold me down."

Dib and Zim backed off, hopefully ready for what the bear might do.

"Well at least they have one thing in common." Dipper said, leaning on the wall. "Mabel, no one wants to play with Bear-O."

"BUT I DO!" Then GIR crashed through the building, holding a bucket of hot wings. "World Tour!" GIR grabbed Bear-O out from Mabel's hand and flew off.

"Hey, GIR give him back!" shouted Mabel as GIR flew out of site.

"VICTORY!" shouted Zim. "GIR had taken away Bear-O … GAAASP! GIR's too stupid to withstand Bear-O's powers. Now he'll be his puppet! I, Zim shall be the puppet master of the puppet!"

"No, I'll be the puppet master!" said Dib.

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"MEEEEE!"

"QUITE YOU BRATS!" shouted the librarian who then threw all four of them out of the building.

"Well that was a waste of time." Dipper stood up, brushing himself off. "I'm getting a soda."

Mabel grabbed Dipper's shoulder. "But what about Bear-O? GIR could be in China by now."

Dipper sighed from exhaustion. "Mabel, will you please …." Dipper looked at Dib and Zim still arguing and got an idea. "You know what? Why not let Dib and Zim get it back?"

"What?" They both asked.

"I'm sure Mabel here will teach both of you how to control Bear-O. Then you two can team up and punish that Vampire when we find him. Huh? And what if Bear-O takes over this world? He might try going after yours."

Dib and Zim looked at each other. "He's right. Fighting will get us nowhere."

"And we have teamed up before like how Tak tried taking my job." said Zim. "Alright. I'll team up with you, Dib. But remember this; it's for only to take down that Vampire. Once that's over and we go back home, we are sworn enemies again!"

"Deal!" Both Dib and Zim shook hands and ran off to a random direction.

"Dipper?" Mabel looked at her brother. "What was that for?"

"Just their new hobby and something else." Dipper folded his arms and smiled. "I figured that 'saving the world' will be the closest hobby to paranormal research, and I think this will do help Dib and Zim in another way."

"What's that?" Mabel asked filled with curiosity.

"Well you remember saying that Dib only true friend is Zim."

"But their enemies." said Mabel. "Frenemies!"

"Exactly. And to top it all off, remember what the Tallest told Wendy? Zim's just of an outcast as Dib."

"Awwwww." Mabel, feeling bad for Zim and Dib frowned. "So you think if they co-operate, they'll be friends?"

"It's a chance. Sounds like they had to work with each other before. We just have to wait and see."

* * *

"This must be where they are?" Dib and Zim are standing in front of the town's local theater where a talent show was being held.

"Yes. This is a perfect spot for Bear-O to get more puppets." Zim looked at the line of the townfolks with each practicing their talents. "I say we partake in this talent show. I'll demonstrate my invader skills while you tackle the bear."

"Or we can just go through the back." Dib pointed out to the open exit.

"…. I was gonna say that too."

Zim and Dib snuck inside the building and avoided security. They found the auditorium and sat in the first row close to where Agent Powers and Agent Triggers sat.

"When we see your robot and Bear-O, we'll start our plan." Dib whispered to Zim.

"Yes, but when we tell our story to the Tallest, I did all the work."

The two sat through some of the most painful display of talent they ever say. Lazy Susan was juggling cats, Toby Determined tap dancing, Blubs and Durland singing, Bud Gleeful playing the piano, Gompers the Goat eating cans, Manly Dan punching a boulder, and Thompson shoving ice cream down his pants as Robbie, Lee, and Nate chant his name.

Finally, GIR and Bear-O appeared on stage. "Hey people!" GIR gleefully spoke. "Me and Bear-O are gonna sing!"

"NOW!" Both Zim and Dib jumped on stage to tackle GIR, but he stepped a bit to the right and dodged.

"Drats! Bear-O foreseen our plan!" Zim said.

"Wait, Why did I agree to just tackle him?" Dib asked himself.

"Hi master!" GIR yelled. "You here to see me and Bear-O?"

"GIR!" Zim shouted. "You must fight off Bear-O's evil magic!"

GIR looked at Bear-O and spoke through the puppet. "I have a GIR."

"We have a Zim." Dib said.

"And I have a Waddles!" Mabel said out of nowhere.

"Hand over that puppet, now!" Zim and Dib walked towards GIR.

"You gonna have to catch me!" GIR activated his rockets and flew around the room.

"Curses!" Zim shouted. "We can't reach him now!"

"Or can we?" Dib ran forward and noticed the pattern and speed GIR was flying. "Zim. Can you throw me at that direction?"

"Throw you?" Zim sarcastically asked as a giant slingshot appeared from Zim's backpack.

Dib jumped on and told Zim how far to pull back. "Ready …. Fire!" Zim launched Dib into the air and Dib tackled GIR to the ground, landing on a few of the audience. "Give that back now!"

"O.K.!" GIR kept his word and handed Bear-O over to Dib, and leave.

"We did it!" Dib held the puppet in the air. "Now no one will ever use you for evil."

"Ahem!" Zim and Dib glared at each other. "I say I'll join forces with you. But that doesn't mean I'll use Bear-O, later. Hand over the bear and I'll destroy you when we get back home."

"Never!"

"Never indeed!" Then Mabel walked up and took Bear-O off his hands. "He lost both his arms and legs because of that fall! Mabel shortly found the missing limbs. I have to sow them back on, so no more Bear-O."

Mabel walked away, leaving Dib and Zim.

"Well ….. we saved this world!" cheered Dib.

"And with Mabel controlling Bear-O, he won't go back to our world and take my prize!" Zim grinned. "But I still gained nothing."

Then the host of the talent show came up to the two with a large trophy. "Our winners for this Talent Show are these two for their amazing act!"

Dib and Zim looked around to see everyone cheering for them.

"Yes, yes. Cheer for me!" Zim basked in the glory as Dib smiled.

"Yes …. People like me again!"

* * *

Later that night at the Mystery Shack, Dib and Zim displaced their trophy in the living room.

"So how does it feel to be liked?" Dipper asked Dib.

"It …. Was filling the void!" Dib said.

"And now people want to see that act again!" Grunkle Stan rubbed his hands. "I'm gonna make a fortune!"

Zim was hopping up and down in front of the Tallest. "I've prevented that evil entity from invading our world. ME ME!"

The Tallest honored Zim's glory, the best they can withstand him. "Very good. Zim." said Red.

"Now go to bed or something. We're going to get more snacks!"

"Not with my money!" said Stan.

Later; Dipper, Mabel, Dib, and Zim sat in their beds talking to each other.

"So you two are now part of an alliance?" asked Dipper.

"Yessss." said Zim. "For now, we are allies. FOR NOW!"

"We won't go at each other necks." said Dib. "It's the best way to find that vampire and get back home." Dib then thought about his home world. "Wonder if my family noticed I'm gone?"

Mabel and Dipper looked at each other and back at Zim. "You said that your father thinks your paranoid, right?" asked Dipper.

"Yeah, just like everyone else." Dib laid down on his bed. "Don't get him wrong. He does care about me and my family. And everyone else thinks I'm paranoid too. But usually he's not around. He's a famous scientist and spends most of his time solving world problems." Dib faced the twins. "But that just leaves me more time to hunt for the paranormal."

Dipper and Mabel felt saddened by the naive boy said. "What about your sister?"

"Gaz? To tell you the truth, she actually knows that Zim is an alien. But she usually doesn't get involved. For some reason she thinks Zim here is a terrible invader."

"Stupid stupid human." Zim said. "She'll soon learn of her error in judging me, but that's for another day. I am curious that your father doesn't spend much time with you. But at least the Tallest know my true Poootentiaaaaal!" Zim stood up. "They assigned me to conquer Earth after I quit my banishment!"

"B-Banishment?!" asked Dib.

"Yeah, it was something to do with attacking our homeworld, but no biggie."

Dib blinked multiple times, comprehending what Zim revealed. "No … no he's just acting. Trying to gain the advantage a little. I'll just ignore him and focus on that vampire!"

As the two toned out Mabel and Dipper, the Twins got up and spoke to each other. "I didn't realize their lives were that bad." Mabel said to Dipper.

"I know. Dib's obsession over the paranormal made him an outcast and delusional about his own life. And Zim subconsciously thinks he's a great invader, but is probably the most hated person out of his race."

Mabel looked at the two and smiled. "There is one thing. They have each other to make their lives worth something."

Dipper looked at the two and smiled. "Just like I figured out. But now we're their friends."

"Yeah!" Mabel smiled.

Dipper took out Journal #3 and called out to them. "Since we're on the right page here, why not I tell BOTH of you about what the journal holds?"

Both Zim and Dib faced Dipper. "YES!" They sat in front of Dipper as he reads the journal to them. Until they finally fell asleep. Resting up for the next day the four friends will face together.

**End of Chapter**

**4-15-14-'-20 ****18-21-14,**

**4-15-14-'-20 8-8-4-5.**

**20-8-5 2-5-1-18**

**3-1-14 20-1-19-20-5**

**25-15-21-18 19-15-21-12.**


	10. SCIENCE

**Chapter 10:** SCIENCE!

Sometime late in the morning, a beautiful fairy gently landed on a flower. The fairy took a droplet of its nectar and sipped it. "Awww. It's so wonderful to have a peaceful day."

"I'M HERE!"

The fairy screamed in terror at the sight of GIR.

"Here's a burrito!" GIR dropped the Mexican food on the fairy, possibly killing her.

"GIR, don't get distracted!" shouted Zim from a distance.

"Coming!" GIR ran to the group containing Zim, Dib, Mini-Moose, Dipper, and Mabel. Using Zim's advance technology, Dib and Dipper had collected some clues on a vampire they recently heard about.

"No Zim, not a vampire." Dipper sighed. "Just Robbie."

"Hey, get me out of this thing!" shouted Robbie who was trapped in a force shield created by Zim.

"Ha, nice try, vampire! Now burn in the LIGHT! Buuuuurn!" Zim laughed maniacally as Robbie sat down being annoyed.

"Seriously, Zim. This is just my ex-competitor for Wendy's affection that I had no chance with in the beginning." Dipper said, sighing to himself.

Zim looked at Robbie glaring at him. "Alight, But I have my eye on you!" Zim released Robbie, who then tackled him.

"I'll get you, you little green kid!"

Zim then froze him with a freeze gun. "Ha, no one can overpower Zim!"

Dipper and Dib looked away and focused on their actual evidence. "O.K., Dib. After searching around town these past two days, we learned that some livestock had their blood drained." Dib took out photos of dead chickens and cows which Dipper examined. "There weren't any witnesses to the attack, but we can study the bite marks on these photos, since Mabel won't allow me to bring dead animals here."

Mabel stopped her twirling with Mini-Moose and GIR. "Bro-Bro. You know that almighty mouse won't allow dead animals to be shown."

Dipper and Dib looked closely at the photo of a dead cow. "Look at its neck." Dib pointed to large wounds. "Those have to be from fangs, but they're huge. We must be dealing with a giant vampire." Dib felt concern and excited at the same time.

"And it doesn't look like it sucks blood with those fangs." Dipper examined another wound on the cow. "It could be using a tongue or an appendage to cut through its victim's skin, that's why there's only one wound on this chicken." Dipper showed Dib a chicken photo. "Mabel, will you please forget about this rat overlord and help me get permission to borrow those dead animals?"

"You have the powers of puppy dog eyes!" said GIR.

"Sorry, not my call!" Mabel scanned the forest with Zim's binoculars. "And I can't see anything sucking blood. Uuuuuuh, but I do see the snake and badger couple. They're already gave birth to a snager."

Dipper sighed, "Well what is more powerful than a mouse?"

"Well nothing powerful, but I do know what can rival the mouse. A rabbit, a sponge, and a plumber. But the sponge is torn and stinky now, and the plumber doesn't understand his clients anymore. I heard the rabbit is working on something now with a squirrel and bigfoot."

Dipper rolled his eyes. "I'm getting those animals." Dipper and Dib hopped onto the go-karts as everyone jumped in as well.

"I'm warning you, our world will freeze and will spawn badly written realities to fill the void."

"And the football never found its parents." GIR said randomly.

Zim laughed at Mabel's comment. "Ha, as if anyone can handle my superior personality! But if they dare insult My Tallest in any way….!"

* * *

The Tallests were now dancing on stage, dressed in tutus as they sung about how great Zim is. "Oh Zim is great. We love him so much! Snacks are an abomination!"

* * *

Dipper drove the go kart towards the Mystery Shack where Grunkle Stan seems to be arguing with someone. "Looks like Grunkle Stan got into another fight."

"Probably about the magic money eating iguana." said Mabel.

Dib looked over at the arguments and his eyes bulged out in shock. "STOP THE KART!"

Dipper slammed on the breaks, which caused Zim to hit himself on the back of the front seat. "What did I tell you about wearing your seatbelt?" scolded Mabel.

Dib hopped off the kart and ran through the crowd. He stopped when he saw the man arguing with Stan Pines. He was very tall and wore a white coat covering his lower face. His eyes were covered by goggles and his hair was almost identical to Dib's.

"Dad?!"

Professor Membrane looked down at Dib. "Oh son. There you are. You're just in time for me to show you what your paranormal hobby truly is." Membrane pointed dramatically at an irritated Grunkle Stan. "You, you think these exists?" Membrane picked up taxidermy of a goldfish dressed as Elvis.

"Hey, I have you know that that there is the real King!"

Dib was completely dumbfounded. "Dad, how'd you get here?!"

Membrane bent down to his son. "It's quite interesting, my boy. It all started earlier this morning."

(Flashback)

Professor Membrane was working on a stargate-like invention with his team.

"I came up with an idea to invent a transporter machine that can bring people directly to the video store before your rentals will be charged."

"O.K. Fire it up!" as the team was about to perform Membrane's command, a random portal appeared from behind and sucked Membrane right in.

(End Flashback)

"It still has a few bugs in the program. Looks like it brought me here in Oregon where this fool is trying to brainwash these people. But boy does it feel nicer here. I have got to go on nature walks more often." Professor Membrane whiffed the fresh air of Gravity Falls, and then looked directly at Stan. "But I have a job to do! Discover how the world works so that kids of this generation will just ignore it and get body piercing; which reminds me."

Membrane turned away and took out a tape recorder. "Not to self, destroy body pierces. That includes earrings!"

"Does that include Nacho Earrings?" Dib looked to see his friend and temporarily allies joining him.

"Nacho as fashion?!" asked GIR. "You are a goddess!"

Dipper looked the man over. "Is that your dad?!"

Dib nodded yes. "He said his new invention sucked him up; but if I saw a flashback, I'll guess it's the same way me and Zim got here. Wait a minute, Zim!" Dib grinned and pulled Membrane over. "Dad, I like you to meet my new friends." Dib showed them Dipper and Mabel Pines. "These are the Pines twins, Mabel and Dipper. And finally …" Dib turned Membrane to Zim. "The one I was trying to warn you about, the alllllliiiiiiii-" Dib then noticed Zim and GIR had quickly changed into their Earth disguises.

He glared at Zim, and then squeezed between his eyes. "He's not important right now. We have to find that vampire."

"Vampire?" asked Membrane. "Son, you do not want anything to do with those gloomy kids drinking tomato juice."

"No, an actual vampire." said Dipper. "From what we've uncovered, a vampire brought you all here by means of opening dimensional wormholes."

Professor Membrane listened to the boy, and softly laughed. "What do you know; you've made a new friend who's just as delusional as you are son."

Dipper blinked. "Delusional?"

"Only on how to get a girl." Mabel joked. "Hi, I'm Mabel. Are you a scientist? Can clouds make sprinkle and bunnies?"

Membrane felt delighted by Mabel's mind. "Well little girl, it is possible, with science!"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what?"

Membrane looked at Dipper. "Anything is possible with science. Like inventing cars that run on other cars, creating canned ice cream, living forever by replacing oxygen with salt, and exploding suns while dressed as a clown."

Dipper's shoulders shrugged down, trying to find words to describe Professor Membrane. "I …. Is he serious?"

"Of course I am." Membrane patted Dipper on the back. "I've helped this planet with many problems. They should all know me, right. Professor Membrane!"

Professor Membrane then noticed the tourists weren't around. "Where'd they go?"

"And here we have the magical pizza sauce covered lawnmower." Membrane looked inside the shack and found Grunkle Stan hypnotizing the people.

"And if you rub the sauce on your armpits (snicker), there's a 10 percent chance you'll fly." said Red.

"Don't listen to him." Membrane ran to the door, but was bounced back by Soos's belly.

"Sorry, dude. Mr. Pines's orders."

Membrane tried pushing his way in with his own strength, but found it to be futile. "I'm not giving up just yet. I know a chemical that will shrink you to the size of a hamster."

"Sweeeet."

Dib sighed. "For once, I agree with him." Membrane eyes grew adorably large, filled with hope for his son. "Just about the Mystery Shack."

Membrane fell flat on the ground. "It's a start at least."

Zim growled in irritation. "I have had enough of this. My Tallest don't have the patients to wait for your family bombing time. We must hunt down that vampire!"

"Vampire?" Membrane picked himself up. "Believe me, you won't find a vampire in those woods. Unless if you count the countless lifeforms that survives on blood for nourishments. Hmmmmm." Membrane started pondering to himself.

"Zim's right. We have to get a move on." said Mabel. "And what if this evil vampire is hot? I can get around the evil part and-"

"Wait, wait. What was that?" asked Membrane.

"We're hunting down a vampire I hope to date."

"Date?!" Membrane checked Mabel's ears and tongue. "Why would a girl want to have a sinful demon monster to suck their life force away and become their undead wife? It's like a metaphor for teenage boys in real life; which reminds me." Membrane took out the tape recorder again. "Not to self. When Gaz turn 13, destroy all boys."

Mabel shook her head. "Tsk tsk. Here, read this." Mabel smiled and handed him a copy of a book with a vampire and girl making out. "This will tell you all you need to know about vampires."

Membrane flipped through the pages and became more horrified. "Egad! This is the worst thing I have read in my life. I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is more brain numbing than your paranormal stuff, son!"

"Wow. What's in that book?" asked Dib, very curious on how awful it has to be.

"Shield your eyes, son!" Membrane tossed the book into the forest.

"Hey!" shouted Mabel, running after it.

"Son!" Membrane latched onto Dib's cheeks. "I don't know how this crazy phase had started with girls, but it must be stopped!"

"How are you gonna do that?" asked Dib.

Membrane held his finger up. "This may sound crazy coming from me, but we must use science to create a vampire!"

"Wait, you …. Want to create …. A vampire?!" asked Dib.

"Well not the paranormal kind. Just a human hybrid of multiple blood sucking animals."

Dipper gave him the oddest look as Zim grinned with pleasure. "Amazing. I never knew the Dib Human's parent was so diabolical. I shall assist you!"

"That's the spirit!" said Membrane. "And I think I know the perfect specimen in Oregon. To a lake or river!"

* * *

The gang is now at the Gravity Falls lake. "Wait, when'd we get here?" asked Dib.

Membrane walked the kids to the lake. "What a clean environment. Perfect for the first blood sucking animal." Membrane took out a book and placed it on the ground. "This is the slimy parasite we're after."

The kids looked at a section about the 'Pacific Lamprey', an eel-like scale-less fish with a suction mouth with sharp teeth. "Eeeeew." Mabel stepped away. "That thing drinks other animal's blood."

"Yes, people included!" Membrane proclaimed. "They will latch onto their host and use their jawless mouths to cut open a wound and feast on the blood for nourishment." Then the scientist then took out a rope. "Now who wants to assist me?"

"Oh Oh, Me! Ziiiiim shall assist you!" Zim raised his hand and Membrane immediately tied him to the rope.

"Good, now go and be bait!" Membrane pointed towards the lake.

"Ahhh, excellent choice." Zim smiled. "I shall be the Lamprey's bait and then capture our unexpecting victim." Zim walked right in the water. "Then we shall perform countless of painful and squishy experiments and … am I forgetting something?" Zim looked around his surrounding and found that he was half way in water. "Ahhhhhhh! I'm wet! My SKIIIIIIIIIIIIN! Poooooor poooooor Invader Zim's skin. I shall ….. wait a minute?" Zim looked around and put his hand in the water. "This water does not harm me?"

Dib looked at Zim with curiosity and Membrane called out to the alien. "You must have an allergic reaction to the pollution in city water."

"There's what in our water?" asked Dib.

Zim dunk his head in the water. "This world's water is weak to Zim. Perhaps I can replace my world's water with this world's water and Dib's advantage will be no more! But first thing first." Zim moved around the water, looking for any lampreys. "Oh I hope no Earth lampreys don't suck on my delicious blood. It will be so easy to eat me, the almighty Zim!"

As that was going on, Dipper was looking through his journal. "You know, I think I've read something about lampreys." Dipper found the page. "Aha, the author documented something about this." Dipper passed around and read the content out loud. "On my investigation through Gravity Falls, I've discovered a new species of lamprey that can breathe on land and hunt in packs. But they are normally dormant throughout a five year period."

"Booooooring." said Mabel. "I can think up of a bazillion things more awesome to do than be a doormat for five years."

"He said dormant." Dib corrected her. "That means they're hibernating." Dib turned to Dipper with a concern look. "He wouldn't happen to write down the time period they'll be asleep, would he?"

"He already did." Dipper looked deeply on the page. "Luckily those lampreys are sleeping now. But it does say here that they will awake if their defenseless queen is taken."

"Ha, I've taken your queen!" shouted Zim, coming back onto shore with a rather large, lazily looking lamprey wearing a crown. "Now torture it, Dib Dad Human!"

Dipper slapped his face as a horde of red lampreys jumped from the surface.

"Ahhhh, more prisoners." Zim grinned evilly. "GIR, capture them!"

"Yes Master, I obey!" GIR discard his disguise and held his hand out to shoot a large net …. Where do you think he's aiming?

"GIIIIIIIIR! Not us!" Zim shouted at the top of his lungs as himself, Dib, Dipper, and Mabel struggled to get free.

"Does this mean I have to go ride a zebra?" asked GIR.

Dib looked over to his dad who was oblivious to the situation, but did notice Dipper's journal. "Interesting." He picked it up and examined the section about the lampreys. "What amazing artistic skills, and amazing details to these lampreys." Membrane looked at the approaching dangers. "This journal describes so much, including their weak point."

Membrane looked at the kids in the net.

"You four continue playing, I'll handle these specimens."

The lampreys reached shore and started jumping around Membrane. One was about to latch onto the scientist, but Membrane punched it right in the face.

"Science-Punch!"

He repeated his attack as the lampreys continued to attack, while still reading the journal. "When provoked, these little scamps can be calmed down with a smoothing tale. That sounds crazy enough to be crazy. Let's do it." Membrane cleared his throat. "When you put 30,000 pounds of pressure, Science-Punch, onto a raccoon that had recently, Science-Punch, consumed three tablespoons of gold, the raccoon will, Science-Punch, produce a static shock so powerful that it can power up, Science-Punch, one AAA battery. Quite useless, but still science!"

"And he calls us delusional?" asked Dipper right before Mabel finished gnawing the rope to free them.

"Ha, your Irken Tech is no match for my mouth!"

"Cures!" shouted Zim before he could cut the rope. "If only I wasn't observing the Dib Dab Human's behavior."

The kids looked to see Membrane's stories not soothing the lampreys. "Hm, these lampreys must be as smart as that Pines fellow's customers; which means that something stupid will calm them down."

"I know!" Mabel jumped into the scene and kicked a lamprey. "I'll read them my romantic vampire novel!"

"NOOOO!" shouted Membrane. "It's too dangerous. You'll take us both out!"

"But we have no choice." Mabel happily said. "It's either them or your bad taste?"

Then more and more lampreys jumped onto shore. Membrane sighed in defeat. "Alright. Do your worst."

Mabel cleared her throat and read the book. "Then for one second the pale skinned, shirtless boy blinked at me. That was when I know I have found my soul mate who also likes cats."

The lampreys just stared at them for a few seconds, which turned twice as hostile.

"It didn't work?" shouted Mabel.

"It worked for my ears!" Membrane covered his ears in pain. "We're doomed!"

Back with Dipper, Dib, and Zim; Minimoose floated to their side. "Should I have mini-moose blast those blood-sucking worms?"

"Now's a good time!" shouted Dipper as the lampreys jumped round them.

One latched itself on Zim's face, causing the little alien to scream frantically. "Annihilate the worm thingys!"

"Squeek." Minimoose's eyes turned red and aimed around the lampreys, but then a loud voice caught their attention.

"All right, we get it. We give up!"

The lampreys stopped attacking and our heroes looked to see the one talking, the Queen Lamprey, with a slouchy voice.

"Get back in the water kids and sleep!" The smaller lampreys sighed and all jumped back onto the water.

The queen rolled over to Dipper and Mabel. "Well looks like your sin-against nature moose there looks strong enough. So you win, eat my flesh or something. But know this, it's RUDE to pick someone up while they're ASLEEP!"

"I'm sorry." said Dib. "My dad just wants to use science to make a vampire."

Membrane walked over. "Wow, I can here this lamprey speaking. That book must have broken my mind. I'll be seeing weird things for now on like those gnomes over there. Yep, best to just enjoy the outdoors and accept everything till I'm better."

Dib sighed. "Don't ask."

"Don't think I need to." The Queen glared at Membrane. "But if you want a vampire, I think I can smell one's recent meal."

Dipper's eyes lit up. "Wait, you can smell corpses?"

"Yep. I can't actually hunt. Being the queen an all." The queen opened her mouth and sniffed the air. "It's behind those shrubs. Go do some boy scouting and track it down. AND DON'T WAKE ME AGAIN!"

The queen rolled herself back into the water as the gang ran straight to the scene, except for Mabel who was closing her eyes. "Please tell me it's not a unicorn!"

Dipper and Dib moved some branches and found a deer, drained of blood, and with a wound similar to those from the farm animal photos.

"Are we angering the mouse?" asked GIR, who Zim quickly told to shut up.

"Amazing!" Dipper carefully examined the body without touching it. "Too bad I can't examine this without the right tools."

"Tools for which I have!" Membrane took out a device. "This could be a new discovery. With my portable invention, we can examine the skeleton of this animal so we can determine what kind if struggle it endured before death!" Membrane scanned the animal and showed the results to the kids.

"Wow, look." Dib pointed at the neck and legs. "These spots look like they were smashed with a hammer or something."

"Hooves!" GIR shouted randomly.

"GIR." Dipper sighed. "Wait, hooves?" Dipper and Dib looked at GIR looking at some unusual looking hooves tracks in the forest.

"GIR, I think you found something important." Dib said.

"He DID?!" shouted Zim with disbelief.

"I'm being smart again!"

Membrane checked the sizes of the prints and the injuries of the animal. "Fascinating. They appear to be almost the same size. But hooved animals around here are herbivores, especially not cannibalistic. If whatever made these tracks did this mess, we may be on the verge of a new discovery!"

"And our next big clue to finding that vampire." Dipper smiled. "I haven't heard of anything with hooves that will do this from the journal. It must be the work of that vampire. Speaking of the journal, can I have it back?"

"Certainly, but first I must examine the other knowledge this book keeps." Membrane skimmed through a few pages, and then immediately gave it back. "Well, not everyone is 100% crazy."

Dipper and Dib both sighed.

* * *

"So you think that these two are just illusions from hearing that book?" Dib asked his dad, introducing them to the Tallest.

"Correct, my boy. But it's pronounce, tallests." Membrane then took out a screwdriver. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must make some 'improvements' in the Mystery Shack."

"You're sleeping outside with the leash!" shouted Grunkle Stan.

"But I can't camp. I'm a scientist, not one of those jocks!"

"Which is why I can punch you into next Tuesday if you don't follow my house rules!"

"You can punch people into the future?" asked Zim.

After Grunkle Stan tied Membrane outside, Dipper and Dib laid out their information on Dipper's cork board. "Alright, team. From what we've learned so far, our vampire is round shaped, has some sort of tape weapon, and attacks with hooves. Unless if it's a vampire barn animal, we may be dealing with something far from a normal vampire."

Zim stood up and smiled. "And I've finally finished my flying fly camera." Zim took out a robotic fly with a camera on its forehead. "I don't sleep, so I'll surveillance the town to find the monster that dared to disrupt my mission! And the Dib Dab had me thinking." Zim pointed at Waddles. "We need bait!"

With that said, Mabel punched Zim right in the face without hesitation.

A knock was heard and Grunkle Stan walked in. "Hey big head and green guy. I hope no one else is coming from your annoying world. That brainiac will ruin my business."

"Hellooooo?" Membrane called from outside. "You cannot keep me out here forever. I'll escape your clutches and reveal the truth about you, with science!"

Grunkle Stan glared out the window. "Seriously, I'll knock his lights out and ship him to Mexico."

Grunkle Stan left and Dib was left thinking. "He's right. First it was us, then Zim's leaders, and now my dad."

GIR looked outside and saw Membrane scaring away McGucket and his chupacabra named Fluffy by shouting science.

"Next thing you'll know; my teacher, classmates, Gaz, that fat guy down the corner, or even an enemy might come."

"Like Tak." said Zim. "And maybe that one guy at the restaurant. And also those two guys who are far more stupider than humans, the planet jackers, that little girl, Tak again, monkeys."

"We need to stop that vampire once and for all before everyone comes here." said Dib.

"And we'll be ready." Dipper took out a clipboard and walked towards the corner with vampire equipment. "This vampire is unlike anything ever known. We need to prepare ourselves every day for when it will come after us."

"I'm way ahead of you!" Mabel said as she held her grappling hook. "For now on, I'm a garlic-tarian."

"And my dad can help us out more." said Dib. "Heck, since he thinks he's seeing things and going with it, he'll take us seriously, sort of."

"And we have the Tallest!" Zim added, which no one took seriously.

"Alright, let's go over some strategies to fight off this vampire." Dipper said, pointing to the corkboard.

As they spoke, Waddles walked downstairs and passed by Grunkle Stan checking his snack supplies. "Darn aliens. Eating me out of house and home. Should think up of a show to reel in more cash. Alien Cannon, with fire! And Tax Collectors. Now, that last part will give them heart attacks, and me too."

Waddles noticed the back door was open and he walked outside. He looked at Membrane tied up and curled up next to him.

"Hello, future greasy death food." Membrane patted the pig. "I hope my illusions won't get the better of me. Dib's already embarrassing enough, and Gaz ….. she's my funny child." He lay down on the grass and looked up at the clear night sky. "But the question remained is, did I marry a woman or did I clone those kids. I forget."

As they rest, something from within the wilderness approached the two.

"Sqee!" shouted Waddles, sensing the threat.

"What is it, fatty calories?"

Waddles ran into the dark forest and met face to face with a very large and rounded creature with glowing red eyes.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**1-22-1-20-1-18**

**19-13-15-11-5 1-14-4 19-8-1-4-15-23-19**


	11. Where's Waddles

**Chapter 11: **Where's Waddles?

When the sun rose on another beautiful day of Gravity Falls, Mabel was still enjoying her wonderful sleep. She smiled peacefully as she snuggles with her stuffed unicorn. But then her eyes lit up. She sat up and scanned the room. "That's weird." Mabel jumped off her bed and checked underneath. "Usually this is when Waddles comes to greet my new shining day."

Mabel quietly walked out of the room and saw GIR standing on the top of the steps. "Morning!" The little robot then held out a pumpkin. "You know you want it. It's not gonna last."

"I'm good." Mabel said. "Have you seen Waddles?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh NOPE!" GIR smiled stupidly.

Mabel felt a bit concern and decided to look around. She searched the living room, the basement, the bathroom, and the Kitchen, but Waddles was nowhere to be seen. "That's weird. Waddles should always be .." Then a horrible realization came to her. "No, he can't be outside again!"

Mabel dashed outside to see Red and Purple messing with Professor Membrane's mind with a handful of Gravity Falls's strange creatures.

"I wonder how long my brain will heal itself?" Membrane looked at a Minotaur. "Ha, such a hybrid is impossible to exist in this world, without SCIENCE! Well technically it can still be evolutionary possible, but there was no trainers back then to love."

"I'm a MAN-otaur!" The minotaur then punched Membrane right in the face.

"Wow, that illusion punch almost felt real."

"Pffff AH HA HA!" The Tallest laughed. "O.K., who's next?"

Some Gnomes, trolls, and ghosts stood in line, but Mabel pushed them out of the way. "Hey Tallest, have you seen Waddles? I can't find him anywhere?"

"Aren't waddles supposed to hold up dirt on hills?" asked Purple.

"No, I mean my pet pig. YOU know, the best pig in the world!"

Membrane sat up and torn a Gnome off his face. "I've seen the little rascal. He was with me last night."

Mabel's eyes bulged out and her pupils shrunk. "YOU! NIGHT! OUTSIDE!?" Mabel jumped onto Membrane and shook him violently. "Pigs can't be outside! A pterodactyl took him last time he was out!"

"Ha, pterodactyl." Membrane laughed. "Those clones aren't finished yet." He then shot up and clenched is fist. "But when they are, I can show the world that pterodactyls were not reptilian birds, but TREES!"

Mabel ignored Membrane's non-useful dialogue and looked around. "So where is he?"

"I do not know his current location." Membrane sat down. "I recall him being here, but then I fell suspiciously fast asleep."

Mabel twitched and pulled her hair. "You ….. suspiciously fell asleep?!"

* * *

"GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS UP! WE HAVE AN EMERGANCEY!"

Dipper, Dib, and Zim awoke from Mabel's cry, which came from a surround sound boom box set up at maximum volume. The three shook from the sonic boom and fell off their beds.

"DAAAAAH! We're under attack!" Zim ran around, grabbing every single cameo item he could find. "Protect the Tallest!"

Mabel slapped Zim and also Dib too. "This is a rescue mission! Now he-ho and find him!?"

"Find who?!" Dipper asked, worried for his sister.

"Waddles is missing!"

"Oh no!" Dipper hugged Mabel. "When did you go missing?"

"Last night." Mabel started to cry. "Dib's dad said he was with him, but then he just fell asleep."

"That sounds lazy for some reason." Dib said, while feeling his ears. "If you promise to not do that again, I'll help."

Mabel smiled. "Thanks."

"Hold on!" shouted Zim. "I'm not wasting my vampire finding time to find a pig! Zim is an elite invader who-"

"Are you trying to get me angry? Huh, are you?!" Mabel grabbed Zim's head and glared at him straight in the eyes. "I swear you shall suffer if you don't find my beloved friend."

Zim gulped. "The almighty Zim will assist, but the Tallest shall always come first."

"Great idea!" Mabel grinned. "They can help too! In fact, the entire world can help!"

"Sorry Mabel, we need to think rationally about this." said Dipper. "Now come on, we can look around the forest and town. Make some posters and ask close friends of they can help."

"That won't be necessary." Then GIR punched his way into the room. "Waddles must be found at all cost under the least amount of time." The robot spoke with his eyes growing red. "I can track any piggys miles away." GIR's head opened up and a satellite dish popped up. After turning around a bit, the dish closed up and GIR found a source. "Too many piggys around."

"What?"

* * *

"Welcome to the annual Pig Festival!" shouted the mayor of Gravity Falls.

The town section of Gravity Falls was now filled with pigs. Just like the Garlic Festival, everywhere the eye can see were pig decorations …. That was just thrown on the old garlic decorations. Don't act like you don't want to do the same thing with your holiday decorating.

Mabel looked around with irritation as practically every piece of ground was covered with live pigs roaming around for no reason. "Whose idea was this!?"

"MINE!" shouted GIR with joy. "But this is the only close place with piggys."

Mabel looked around. "Of course. Waddles will want to socialize with own kind." Then her puppy dog eyes grew largely. "Maybe he found a nice girl pig."

"But wasn't he married to the goat?" asked Dib.

"Oh yeah." Mabel looked around. "Well he can still be hanging. Let's find him." Mabel dove in like a ball pit in some indoor playground. "I found tokens!"

When GIR joined Mabel, the other three looked at each other in confusion.

"Soooooo, anyone here know what Waddles look like compared to other pigs?" asked Dib.

"Not I." said Zim.

"Nowhere near as good as Mabel." said Dipper.

Zim went in first and picked up the first pig. "ARE YOU WADDLES?" Zim threatened the oblivious pig for answers. "Telll meeeeeeee!" Receiving no answers, Zim put the pig down and picked up another one. "ARE YOU WADDLES?"

Dib stepped inside the horde of pigs and tried to see any familiar traits. "So did Waddles have a spot on his head?" Then he took one step and immediately regrets it. "Oh come on!"

Dipper looked around the pigs and quickly had an idea. "Waddles can't resist this." Dipper took out a block of cheese. "Here Waddles, I know this is your favorite."

Then all the pigs looked directly at Dipper, and tackled him to the ground and wrestled for the cheese.

* * *

Deep within the pile of pigs, Mabel was looking at every pig face. "No….no…..no… NOPE!" Mabel stood up and faced GIR riding a pig. "Ugh. Waddle's isn't in this spot neither. Only his sister, nephew, cousin, and his grandpa's ashes." Mabel sighed, but then noticed a pig behind a building. "Waddles! I recognize that fanny anywhere." Mabel ran toward the pig and pulled him out. "Oh Waddles, we've been looking everywhere …. No wait. You're just his evil twin Elddaw." She said to a pig with a goatee.

Mabel sat down, defeated. "Waddle's where are you?"

"Rover rhere!"

Mabel sat up quickly and glanced around. "Waddles?"

"You dummy, pigs can't talk. Well here they can."

Then the entire world went grey, everything was frozen around here, minus GIR.

"Did you say the magic word?" asked GIR.

"But not as stupid as this robot."

"Oh no….." Mabel knew that inhuman voice very well. Her heart raced in fear as a triangular shadow cast over here. "Bill….."

"That's Bill Cipher to you, Shooting Star." A triangle in the sky revealed its single eye as the body extends limbs and a tall hat. "How's it hanging, and remind me to get a puppet that exercise and socialize instead of reading stories all day long ….. or write stories all day long."

Mabel stood back and tripped on a frozen pig. "What are you doing here, Bill? I'm not gonna fall for your deal."

"Can I fall for it, Mr. Nacho?" GIR tried to grab Bill, but he went right threw him and came falling from the sky. "Magic Nacho!"

"You're way too easy to trick." Bill said to the robot. "I'll just die of boredom."

Mabel grabbed GIR like a protective mother. "Leave us alone, Bill!"

Bill just shook his eye. "Tsk Tsk. And here I thought you want to have your pig back."

"Waddles?"

"Yep." Bill's arms turned into bacon and his hat into ham. "I wonder what will happen to him if you don't find him in time."

Mabel became frantic. "Just leave me alone. I'll find him without you."

Then a stop sign appeared next to Mabel. "Easy there. I'm not here to make one of my deals." Bill leaned his arm on Mabel's head. "He's right over there." Mabel looked to where Bill points. She then saw her pig, Waddles, standing on top of Gravity Falls's deli.

"Waddles!"

"Now wait just a minute, Shooting Star." Bill pulled Mabel's direction to him. "I just want to say something to you. Do. Not."

"No, I won't!" Mabel covered her ears, refusing to listen.

Bill caught Mabel's sight as he held a copy of some vampire novel that wasn't released yet. "Oh My Gosh! I can't believe-NO. None of that."

"Oh, I wasn't going to give it to you." Bill stuck his thumb out and casted a small flame. "I just needed some ashes."

"WAIT!" Mabel instinctively held her arms out, which were caught by two kittens. "Awwwww."

"Figured you'll listen." Bill said as the kittens licked her face. "I just want to saaaaaaay something. Don't go looking for that vampire."

Mabel glanced at Bill with suspicion. "The vampire? But we need to stop him to get Zim and Dib home."

"And that's the problem." Bill created a talk-show desk to sit on. "Tell you what; what would you say that maybe _I _have something to do with your new friends being stuck here?"

Mabel asked while dressed as a reporter. "It was you?"

"Not really." Bill sipped through is mug of coffee. "You have one other player besides me and that vampire I'm trying to track down."

"Whaaaaaa?"

Confetti rained down. "Surprise to you!" Bill wrapped his arm around Mabel. "Can you keep a secret?"

"No."

"Meh, I'll tell you any why." Bill floated into the air and grew large. "I recently made a deal with someone over in that world. I just have to keep them out so something on Earth can go according to plan."

Mabel pupils shrank. "Someone's going to take over Dib's Earth?"

Bill laughed. "I'm not saying any more, besides a hint on how you'll get back." Bill casted flames around the surrounding area. "Stan is now what he seems. Deep underground there lies something that will get you to their world. Bye, have a nice day!"

With that, Bill vanished and the world returned to normal.

GIR looked at the shocked Mabel. "What Mr. Nacho talking about?"

"I … I don't know." Mabel said. "Bill mentioned something about what Grunkle Stan is keeping underground … must be more bills and laws stuff!" Mabel laughed like a goof. "I'm not falling for it."

("Really?!" said Bill in the Mindscape. "Should have known this would happen. It's either everything pulls through or I'll have to wait till that portal's ready on its own. Oh well, time to find that vampire before it breaks my deal.")

Mabel and GIR looked at Waddles and gasped. He was about to walk off the building and into the arms of the butcher.

"Oh no, Waddles!" Mabel and GIR rushed after him. "GIR, you take care of the evil monster. I'll save Waddles."

"Evil Monster?" GIR looked at the butcher and made his eyes glow red. "Eliminate!"

At the Deli, the butcher held his arms out. "Don't worry, little guy. I'll catch you. Then I'll find your owner; and I just sell the meat, I don't-"

That's when GIR tackled him. "You're going to Hollywood!"

"AAAAAHHHH!"

As Waddles walked off and was about to hid the sidewalk, Mabel slid in and caught him on her back. "Waddles! You're safe." Mabel sat up and hugged her pig, and felt immediate pain from sliding on the concrete. "Well …. time to go home and get me plenty of band aids.

She, GIR, and Waddles walked toward the group to see a very happy Zim.

"Mabel Syrup Human. I have found your pig, praise me!" Zim held out a certain something to Mabel.

"How dare you call me a pig!" shouted Pacifica as she wrestled Zim.

"Mabel, is that Waddles?" Dipper asked while Dib held a brush.

"Please tell me it is."

Mabel laughed. "Yep, its Waddles alright." She picked him up and pressed their cheeks together. "But there's something else I have to tell you. I know who's behind the vampire and you guys getting stuck here!"

"What, really?" asked Dipper.

"TELL ME!" Zim shook Mabel, covered in bruises.

"It's illuminati confirmed." said GIR.

They looked at GIR for a few seconds.

"Actually, he's almost right." Mabel said. "It was Bill."

Dipper eyes widen as he gasped. "Bill? Bill Cipher? Oh come on!"

"Bill Cipher?" asked Dib. "Who's that?"

"Tell meeeeee!"

Dipper took out the Journal and showed them the section about Bill. "He's a dream demon that wants to destroy the journal for whatever he has planned."

Zim tapped his mouth. "So someone wants to destroy the answers to Gravity Falls's secrets. Zim shall destroy him first!"

Mabel then told them about his deal with someone and the threat to Zim and Dib's earth.

"Of course the Earth will be attacked when I'm not there to protect it." Dib clenched his fist. "We must track that vampire down into order to save my Earth."

"Especially when it's MY job to conquer Earth!" shouted Zim.

Dipper thought for a moment. "But this means the vampire is more dangerous than we thought." They looked at Dipper. "We still don't really know much about the vampire, especially now that Bill and another bad guy control it. We may need more than just anti-vampire objects."

"And we'll ignore Bill about not looking for the vampire!" said Zim. "Even about the part with the basement and Stan's illegal stuff."

"That's just a trap." said Mabel. "Now let's get to work!"

So the friends walked off towards the Mystery Shack to continue their quest for the vampire and "WHAT!?"

Dip, Zim, GIR, and Dipper looked at a horrified Mabel.

"Mabel, what's wrong?" Dipper asked his sister with concern.

Mabel slowly showed them Waddles. "Oh no, is that." Dib examined the pig and saw two small bite wounds.

"Stand back!" Dipper ordered as he took out a piece of Garlic and held it to Waddles, which the pig ate happily with no side effects.

"Few, we're O.K." said Dipper.

Mabel checked the wounds herself. "Wait, this is just pudding." Mabel licked it. "You little stinker. Getting into pudding again."

"I want pudding." said GIR.

Then they all stood around silently. "….. Well that went nowhere." said Dib.

"Or did it…." said GIR.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**15-14-12-25**

**20-8-18-5-5**

**5-16-9-19-15-4-5-19**

**12-5-6-20**


	12. Camp Fire Tales

**Chapter 12: **Camp Fire Tales

In the middle of the night outside the Mystery Shack, the crew decided to have a campfire to roast marshmallows and joke around.

"Murhmiimurmirmh." Mable spoke as she and Waddles stuffed their mouths with marshmallows.

"Stop speaking in tongues!" shouted Zim.

"Zim, just relax." Red said which caused Zim to immediately settle down. "Also when you (snicker) conquer our world's Earth, reserve all knowledge and ingredients of these marshmallows." Red took a bite out of his marshmallow while Purple freaked out on his flaming one.

"Your wish is my command!"

"_Genie_!" GIR said as he swallowed some Marshmallows and a rock whole.

Dipper sat with Dib as they roast some marshmallows. "This vampire mystery is getting more strange each day." Dib said as he blew a flame off his marshmallow.

"Good to take a break everyone once in a while." Dipper said as he made a s'more.

"Or every time." Wendy said, lying on the soft grass. "Now hand me some graham cracks and choc."

Stan inhaled the fresh air as he sat between Soos and Professor Membrane. "Isn't this just all nice and peaceful? … I say we traumatize your young minds with scary stories."

Soos gasped. "But I'll have nightmares!"

Dib grinned widely. "I wanna go first! I know plenty!"

"Ha, I know actual real horrors." said Professor Membrane as he shines a flashlight onto his face. "Flushing the toilet with the lid up will spread contaminated toilet water all over the bathroom. Including your TOOTHBRUSHES!"

"Daaaaaah!" They all screamed.

"Ha, score one for science!"

"Give me that!" Stan swiped the flashlight off him. "Now it's time for some of my scary stories."

* * *

_Grunkle Stan Saves the Universe_

"Oh no, the world's going to be destroyed!" shouted several lovely aging women screaming at a huge bomb.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" Then Super Stan swooped in and carried the bomb into space. "Now to throw you to the source of all eeeeevillllllll!"

Super Stan threw the bomb towards a space station, let by the evil Darth Gideon. "Noooooo, My widdle plans!"

The space station exploded and all the women started kissing him. Did I mention the explosion destroyed all the terrorists, end world hunger, and give scientists a cure for cancer?

_The End_

* * *

"Huh, huh, huh?" Stan shook his eyebrows, but everyone just booed him. "Fine, try topping mine."

"Don't mind if I do." Dib took the flashlight. "Ladies and Gentlemen, and aliens. Today you will all hear a tale of the most horrifying thing I have ever encountered and hey wait a minute." Dib turned to Stan. "Your story wasn't scary."

"Scary for Gideon." laughed Stan.

"As I was saying…"

* * *

_The Boy Who was Right_

"It was a normal day at school. All the kids studied and do their work and listened to their teacher. But there was one boy who was mocked by all the others. The reason for this mistreatment is that he was unusual. Instead of hanging out with other kids or watch cartoons, this boy hunts the paranormal."

Driving through a black car, The Boy drove to an old house. "If it wasn't for the boy, the whole world would have been destroyed multiple times."

The Boy kicked the old door down and listened to the eerie silence inside the old structure. "He is equipped with the most advance technology on the planet." The Boy put on some googles and saw ghosts flying around. He then drew out a vacuum like machine and sucked up all the ghosts.

"His greatest threat however did not come from this world…"

Then an evil alien hybrid beast crashed through the floor and shot acid towards The Boy.

"So, we meet again, Emperor-"

* * *

"TIMES UP!" shouted Mabel which startled Dib. "You're going to beat up the bad guy and everyone believes you. I can see the ending miles away."

Mabel took the flashlight off then now upset Dib. "Now it's my turn!"

* * *

_The Dating Show_

A curtain moved away to show a very Mabel-ized Dating Game show.

"And now it's time for everyone's favorite show, Who's Gonna Date?' The crowd cheered. "With your host … Mabel Pines!"

Mabel appeared from the left side, waving at her guests. "Welcome, Welcome. Tonight's lovely contestants are right there!" Mabel showed them three images.

"Our first guest is a boy you all know and love, and awkwardness will be his downfall. My brother Dipper!"

Dipper looked around with a confused face. "Mabel, who are you trying to find a date for?"

"Secondly, the boy who's just like Dipper but more crazy. Dib!"

Dib glanced around. "I'm too young to date."

"Finally, our third contestant for love. The advance alien invader which ironically is more delusional than the last two combined, Invader Zim!"

"I have no need for love!" shouted Zim. "I still remember last time!"

Mabel then pointed at a mysterious figure. "Now our lovely mystery woman will ask a couple of questions. Answer truthfully and you may find love."

The woman read from a flashcard. "_Do you like tachos_?"

Zim lifted his head up. "GIR?"

"_He found out_!" GIR then flew straight up into the ceiling.

"Well then, next contestant!"

Now Wendy was asking questions. "Mabel, I didn't agree to this?"

"Read it!"

Wendy sighed. "Who's closer to my age?"

Dipper took frantic breaths and kept his inside voice from breaking out. "_She's too old for you, she's too old for you_, s_he is so awesome._"

"I'm still in elementary school!" said Dib.

Zim laughed. "I'm far more older than any of you combined!"

Wendy stood up. "This is stupid. Actually dating in general is stupid. Especially if they leave you with the bill and climb out the bathroom window."

"_Who did that to you…."_ Dipper thought.

"Our last contestant is non-other than Pacifica."

Pacifica sat at the chair. "Why would I date a nerd, another nerd, and some alien?"

Mabel tapped her chin. "She needs some motivation. Can I have some help here?"

Then the lumberjack ghost materialized next to Pacifica and started chasing her with an axe. Pacifica hid under a table in fear. "Would anyone help me!?"

Then Dipper leaped into action and captured the poltergeist with a Sliver Mirror.

"We have a winner!" Mabel took out some scotch tape and joined Pacifica and Dipper together. "Match Made!"

_The End_

* * *

"That will never happen in a million years." Dipper said.

Wendy held her hand out and caught the flashlight. "Now's mah turn."

* * *

_The Tortured One_

Dipper and Mabel opened up an online video of a handful of teenage boys, including Robbie, dressed as fairy princesses singing about cupcakes as they received several detentions and a one-way trip to a cave with thousands of spiders.

"Yep, perfect." Wendy said behind the camera, relaxing on a hammock while sipping some lemonade as her brothers fanned her.

_The End_

* * *

"…Yes, that is it." Wendy smiled as Purple and Red cheered.

"Those were her Xs, if you're not smart enough to figure it out." Grunkle Stan told the twins. "They really do deserve that."

"_Of course they do_." Dipper thought.

Wendy tossed the flashlight over to the Tallest.

"Oh I got a good one." Red said as Purple whispered some ideas.

* * *

_The Stupidest Invader_

A crayon-drawn version of Zim walked forward in a cheap way. "Once upon a time there was this very stupid invader."

"I am a stupid invader." Zim said with Purple impersonating him. "I am STUPIIIIIIIIIID!"

He was banished by the incredible Tallest, which are us of course, and was never seen again. That is what the Tallest hoped for.

As Operation Doom II was going on, Zim crashed through the ceiling and landed on their large pile of doughnuts. "Gimme planet!"

Through the Tallest's annoyance, they crammed the stupid alien in an cannon along with a robot with stuff for brains and blasted him off into a random planet.

The Tallest sat down to rest, but then Zim appeared on a screen. "Me founded planet! Now I'm gonna call you for ever and ever and ever and ever AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND ever!"

Now it is only a matter of time for the Tallest's mind to explode.

_The End_

* * *

"Tsk Tsk Tsk." Zim shook his head. "I can't believe an Invader would put you through that. Well I, ZIIIIIM, shall eliminate this stupid Invader when I see him!"

Red and Purple snickered. "Promise?"

"I swear on my own grave!"

The Tallest passed the flashlight over to Dipper. He looked around everyone and gulped. "O.K. …. How about the time we went to the haunted Convenient Store, NO NO! Or … The Bunker NO! …. Hmmm."

Zim pushed Dipper and grabbed the flashlight. "DO NOT BORE THE TALLEST!"

"Oh no." Was all the Tallest could say as they hid behind their seats.

"Ahem." Zim cleared his throat as Wendy put on some earplugs. "Now I will tell you all about the Almighty Zim!"

* * *

_The Almighty Zim_

"After a successful quiting of my banishment! I flew to Operation Doom II to receive my next job."

The Almighty Zim landed on stage and bowed to the audience with a very showy cape and huge muscles.

The Tallest grinned widely as the Almighty Zim bowed to them. "Oh look, Red. It's our favorite Invader!" Purple said before fainting.

"Yes it is! Oh what would we ever do without you?" Red spoke to the Almighty Zim. "You are clearly the best Irken in the whole universe."

The Almighty Zim smiled. "Please my Tallest. You are far beyond of important-e-ness that I am but a simple bug."

"We know." The Tallest said. "We are so great and amazing that including us in comparing what is best is just too confusing."

A beam of light shun upon the Almighty Zim as the Tallest granted him the coordinates for Planet Earth.

"Now this planet is the most mysterious planet in all the mysterious planets. Only the bravest and greatest Invader is capable of conquering."

The Almighty Zim held his fist in the air. "I shall accept this daring mission. No one shall overcome the Almighty Zim!"

But as the Almighty Zim was about to receive his robot slave, a dark and very stupid evil person snuck in and swap the robot with a stupid one. "Bwa ha ha! I shall take down the Irken Empire!"

So Zim, I means the Almighty Zim, flew to a planet called Earth, inhabited by Stupid Ugly Worm Humans!

"This place is worse than I thought." The Almighty Zim said before the stupid robot shouted.

"_He's gonna take over your planet!_"

The Almighty Zim gasped as all the Humans turned hostile.

"Bwa ha ha ha! That fake robot I swapped revealed you!" The evil thingy said.

"How dare you trick the Tallest!" The Almighty Zim held his laser-sword. "Reveal yourself, villain!"

The bad guy showed himself to be Dib. The evil Human that wants to ruin the Almighty Zim's plans. He was real ugly and-and weighs a million pounds! He also stinks really bad! But the Almight Zim did no fear, because Zim is ZIIIIIIIM!"

The Almighty Zim and Dib wrestled in a dust cloud and the Invader came out as the victor. "I claim this planet in the name of the Tallest!"

Then the humans blew up and the Irkens partied!

_The End_

**Space**

Zim bowed to everyone. "Thank you. Thank you." Zim listened to all the non-clapping from the audience. "And I am so sorry for the next story tellers who cannot top my story! HA!"

Soos jumped for joy. "Oh boy, now's it's-"

But then GIR swooped in and took the flashlight. "Me turn!"

* * *

_GIR_

Aldjfaapaijzxiojzeoiicanseethefuturesadfalksfjnvalbaoea9f3paiekoofjoeifiopwedfklmaskusadjshofajisdlfis;kasdjgiouepsojfaisdfjajwefd;mu'alkjozenfjalk51809gau9fga[]fkagdfjatacoas; 9oifjweoifalggarnetisafusionskdjaoisdfjalnightmarekjfoiewuroqiwejmjavklnjfskladjfoiewrpysoawjeoitjhaoewirjoweirwoiwilldsa;foiaenwoieneoiafnedielafwegaziofpoiewrhjaeblendinisicebagoiwjriaoewjraoijfcrazyasoejpirhjaewoihrioasehqieoaiwajrrioahehandaoishdfaoiejfoiajeoriasjfliveahfeoifnaoiewrjneoiwrjoieawff4kidspeoianiortjaoierjioeisoewihronext2983ujo9*F90*()ERR()#92983ujo9*F90 ()ERR()#9donotspoilinreveiwaf98wruajzo;fjw0[z4tt9jgazper.

_The End_

* * *

"I think that's enough for tonight." Stan said as she felt his head.

"Best to just forget that." Dipper fell back from a headache.

"Well I thought it was beautiful." Mabel said.

"Not me. He gets detention." Ms. Bitters handed GIR a slip for detention.

"Yaaaaaay!"

Dib sighed. "I'm going to get some sleep now and MS. BITTERS!?"

Dib and Zim's teacher, Ms. Bitters, stood around them, hissing at the boy. "Dib. You've missed too much school!" She glanced at Zim who quickly placed his disguise on. "You too."

"Who's this crow?" Stan asked.

"That's none of your business unless you marry me."

Stan's eyes widened. "CODE 618!" He then jumped into his car and drove away.

Wendy sighed. "We know. You got sucked into a portal. Now go hang out at the shack."

Ms. Bitters laughed. "I do not need your shelter!" Her legs retreated and a pair of flares flew the teacher into the sky.

"…..She's not human, is she?" asked Soos.

**End of Chapter**

* * *

**Fun Fact:** It was stated by one of the writers that Ms. Bitters is indeed not human. How'd Did miss that one, I will never know.

**A/N: **Welp, Gravity Falls is coming to an end. But it will live on in our hearts and fanfictions unless they decide to kill off a main character or show a flash-forward to see who they'll end up with.

**20-8-9-19**

**19-9-20-5**

**23-15-14-'-20**

**12-5-20**

**13-5**

**19-8-15-23**

**7-9-18-'-19**

**5-14-20-9-18-5**

**19-20-15-18-25**


	13. Cooling Corduroy

**Chapter 13: **Cooling Corduroy

"And stay out!" Grunkle Stan kicked the door to his Mystery Shack opened and threw out the Tallest. "It's bad enough I have to house a crazy alien, a crazy robot, a crazy moose toy, and a crazy witch. But you…" His large shadow cast over the frighten aliens. "Every-Single-Time I bring home snacks, you guys swipe it faster then I scam people. You're eating more food than the money you help me make." He pointed down the road. "Now go find some work and make a living until we find a way home for you guys."

"But Grunkle." Red spoke. "You need our intergalactic knowledge. And according to our scans, you may have the right materials behind that vending machine."

"But you said there's more snacks behind-" Red quickly covered Purple's mouth.

"NOOOOO!" Zim latched onto Stan in an attempt to pull him down to the ground. "I shall avenge my Tallest!"

The Tallest quickly stood up, realizing the great opportunity. "On second thought, Zim. This could work to our advantage. We'll go and set up another base, away from here."

"Yeah." spoke Purple. "A secret base. That is also a secret to you!"

"That way if the enemy capture and torment you, you won't be able to reveal our secret base so we can attack when they're not looking."

"Ooooooh." Zim hopped off of Stan and bowed to the Tallest. "My brain knowledge is far superior, but not as far far superior than the minds of my Tallest."

And so after giving their good byes and swiping some more snacks when Stan wasn't looking, the Tallest moved around town, finding a suitable place to live in, which means anywhere since Zim won't be following them.

"O.K. we need to find a job in order to make money." Red said to Purple.

"But in a job, we'll have to work for someone else. As in we won't be doing the ordering." Purple groaned at the idea of being lower.

"Right, but will be more degrading than living in the same building as Zim?"

"You make a good point?"

So a montage played of Red and Purple doing odd jobs. They served rabid weasels to hungry customers at Lazy Susan's Dinner, revealed Toby's darkest secrets in his newspapers, introduced Internet Searches to the Library, and spoiled every single movie at the Cinema.

"O.K. enough goofing around!" Red and Purple laughed at each other. "Like we need a job and shelter from these people." Red dug through is pocket. "We have our own Automatic Base we can plant right ….. Hey, where is it!?"

(Flashback)

Red and Purple were watching a movie as they gulp down snacks. GIR came along and took the device from Red's pocket and ate it.

(End Flashback)

"Great, just great." Red sighed as he sat down.

"Well at least it's not raining." Purple added, then out of their dumbest luck, they both got struck by lightning. "I wanna go back to the shack."

"No, no. This can still work." Red stood up. "We're advance leaders from another planet. We can sell our information to the Earth Leader."

"Do we even know the first thing about this rock besides that the humans are tall and stupid? Which is an impossible combination."

Red tapped his chin, recalling what Zim had informed them of this planet. "Let's see. Zim thought a planet was a spaceship once, he …. He's just terrible." The two sat next to each other on the curb. "You know, this is all that vampire's fault!" Red spoke.

"Yeah." said Purple. "Thanks to him, we've been stuck here with Zim for over a year!"

"It's only been a week or so."

"Feels like a year to me!"

As the two miserably sighed, a familiar red-head came strolling by. "Sup, Red and Purple."

"Wendy!" The two aliens stood right up with glee. "Glad to see you." Red said.

"You won't believe it." Purple said in a shaky voice. "The Grunkle kicked us out and we have no idea where to go."

Wendy tilted her head. "You know; my place have a spare room. Why not crash at my house. My dad is already a fan of yours, but not Zim."

With that said, the two grabbed Wendy's arm and dragged her to the Corduroy's residence, but stopped halfway to ask a simple question. "Where do you live?"

…

"Welcome to my place." Wendy introduced the aliens into the log cabin surrounded by the wilderness. "Your home has some exotic decorating." Red complimented the lumberjack related objects hung on the walls and placed on shelves, including taxidermies.

"You better believe it." Then in marched Manly Dan himself. "And since you told that smaller guy to stay away from you two, you're welcome here. But if he EVER shows his face around here, I'll …. I'll-" He grabbed a log and snapped it like a twig.

The Tallest just clapped in amusement. "Amazing." Red then whispered to Purple to remind Zim to gather strong humans for whatever will entertain them.

Wendy took out a CD player and set the volume up. "Random Dance Party!"

The three enjoyed a simple dance party inside the living room, until…

"We brought wolverines!" Three red-headed boys literally crashed through the window and unleased four wolverines.

"That's my boys!" Manly Dan joined the kids as they chased the animals around the house, breaking furniture, picture frames, and destroyed tonight's dinner.

The music stopped after one boy smashed it and the aliens just stare at the commotion. "What is this?" asked Purple.

"I don't know, but this is so barbaric!" The two jumped out of the way before Manly Dan ran over them.

Wendy sighed painfully and collapsed on the cough. "Wolverine Day." She covered her ears and looked at her alien buddies. "Sorry guys. I forgot it was Tuesday."

Purple narrowly dodged a vase. "This happens every week!?"

"Yes, but each day is something." The two aliens hopped onto the couch as the weekly tradition continued into the basement. "Sunday was Flaming Arrow Practice, and Wednesday will be Howl Midnight, Thursday will be Chainsaw Juggling, Friday is Pig Painting, and Saturday is 'Catch Wendy Up with Everything." She covered her face in annoyance.

"Wow, that's … your home life?" Purple said, feeling compassion for the girl.

"They're even worse than Zim. At least he calls us at least twice a month and lives far away." Red felt his temples. "I can't even imagine staying here."

"Sorry guys." Wendy rubbed her arms. "It's not like this 24/7. They'll tire out, but then I'll have to clean up everything." She sided to herself. "Ever since my mom left us for a millionaire who lost all his cash from putting stocks on all the wrong companies, I had to fill up her role. It's just … so stressful."

"That explains the photo of the female on a dart board." Red added.

"And you hide it so well." Purple said. "Back at the shack, you always looked cool."

"Trust me, I'm always stressed. Even when I'm out and hanging with my friends." Wendy looked around the destroyed room. "Sorry I got you into this mess. I didn't remember this since you two are like the coolest aliens I know." She grabbed a mop and bucket. "See you back in … hours."

"W-Wait. We got this." Purple took out a tiny robot. "Clean Droid … CLEAN!"

The robot saluted and in under a second the robot zipped through the entire house and restored it to its original state.

Wendy's jaw dropped by the Irken Robot. "Wow … heh heh." Wendy started laughing. "I … I don't have to clean this!" Wendy collapsed onto the cough and wrapped her strong arms around the Tallests' weak necks. "I should have brought you guys home sooner!"

Then the lights when out.

"New record!" shouted the guys downstairs.

"Can your robot fix that?" Wendy asked.

"Sorry, we're not used to Human technology." Purple stated.

Red had enough. "O.K. We cannot allow this to go any farther." He pointed at Wendy. "You've have experienced this constant stress for far too long. It's time for us to fix all this."

"Yay! Stop the madness!"

Wendy felt overly glad to hear this, but of course she still has her concerns over how these guys deal with stress, which involves people. "Just for the record, I still love them and we do bond a lot. I don't want them being sent to some 'Mystery Planet'."

"Oh course not." Red said to relief Wendy, and motioned Purple to cut that off the list. "And since your family seem to be far from reach of verbal communication, we need to do this the old fashion way."

…

Outside, Manly Dan was showing the boys how to wrestle a bear. "Then you poke them in the eyes until they cry!" Manly Dan demonstrated. "Now cry, bear. CRY!"

A few feet away, The Tallest and Wendy were hiding in the bushes. "Okay here's the plan." Red took out a robotic insect. "Since Manly Dan is the alpha male, we'll just have this connect to his head. He'll act calmer in normal situations and your brothers will follow."

"And you can have the remote." Purple handed the confused Wendy a remote.

"I don't know; guys." Wendy looked at her family. "You told me this won't drill a hole in his head, but would this break his mind?"

"Trust us, Wendy. Our technology is far superior than your Earth technology. Irken leadership is also far superior." Red lifted the insect robot into the air. "Besides, your stress level isn't healthy. You'll explode or get wrinkles."

Wendy looked at the remote, thinking carefully. "Well …. Yeah. I would get wrinkles and lose all my hair." Wendy pressed the button with determination and sent the insect nowhere. "Dudes, how do I work this?"

Purple took the remote back and maneuvered the insect onto Dan's neck. "Now showtime!" Purple pressed the button and activated the robot.

A signal was sent to Manly Dan's neck which caused him to freeze.

"…Dad?" the kids asked as the bear ran away, whimpering.

Dan stood there for a few moments until. "BLAAAAARG!" Manly Dan ran around in a panic, punching every tree insight. The kids looked at each other, shrugged, and joined along.

The Tallest were completely shocked by this. "Wha ….. what just happened?" Red asked as Purple checked the remote and found it unresponsive.

"I … I don't think that was our robot."

(Flashback)

Right before the Tallest base-device was eaten by GIR, Zim came by and swapped their insect machine an exact replica. "I'm borrowing this for my own secret evil plan for the future! You can have the one I built. It's not as good as yours."

"Huh?"

(End Flashback)

"ZiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIM!" The Tallest shouted. "When I get my hands on him, I'll-"

"A-hem!"

The Tallest slowly turned and what they consider their hearts sank when the saw the merciless glare from Wendy Flippin Corduroy.

"Well then …. It was ZIM's FAULT!"

…

"Run, run. Run for your lives!" Jeff the Gnome shouted to his Gnome comrades. "Here, take Shmebulock!" Jeff pushed Shmebulock in front of the threat.

"Shmebulock." Was all he said before Manly Dan kicked him several yards away as the boys shouted like maniacs.

"That sacrifice was worth it." Jeff said as he escaped with the other Gnomes. "Looks like that berserker is heading into the town. Sort of feel sorry for the humans. At least we're safe from FREAKIN PIXIE WHAT'S THAT!?" They dodged an incoming flying craft operated by two brutally beaten Tallest with Wendy riding in the back.

"He's right there." Purple spoke with bandages tied around his chest.

Red, with an eyepatch over his eyes, took aim at the raging man. "If you remove that robot from his neck, he'll return back to his normal state. But ….. are you completely crazy!?" shouted Red. "Even if you manage to jump on him, he'll tear you in half! Including us!"

"Like that will stop me!" Wendy ordered them to get closer.

Fearing for their lives by either Dan or Wendy, the Tallest manage to catch up to the behemoth. Upon Wendy's orders, they swarmed around the crazed males as Dan tried swiping at them.

"Twas beauty that killed the beast."

"Purple! You were supposed to say that at the end!"

At the right moment, Wendy jumped off the craft and landed on the back of her father. Before reaching the machine, Dan grabbed a hold of her, but she kicked him in the face and held onto his arm.

Dan cried out and the rest of the Corduroys charged ahead. Wendy jumped onto a tree and climb right up to find raccoon minding its own business. Wendy however grabbed the animal and threw it to the ground. This caused the boys to get distracted as they chase it around.

Wendy jumped right in front of Dan and tackled him in the guts. The man felt nothing, but Wendy used this chance to roll around and kick the back of Dan's legs. Manly Dan tipped over from his own weight and fell to the ground.

"Sha-bam!" Wendy reached for the robot, but suddenly Dan rolled over and grabbed Wendy in his clutches. "Dad! Daaaad!" She called out to her crazed father. "You're not you! You're being controlled!" She tried struggling out of his huge monster hands. "You have to listen to me! I'm Wendy, you're only daughter."

Wendy felt the air leaving her body as Dan crushed her. "D-D-D-D-aaaaad."

Dan roared into the sky, and then suddenly a beam was shot at him. "Dad!" Wendy called out as his body was slowly being incased by a block of solid ice.

"Cooling Corduroy." Purple said as he blown the steam off a freeze ray.

"You've redeemed yourself." Red said as he parked the craft.

Wendy pulled herself out of Dan's arms being they too were frozen. "What just happened?!"

"We froze him. Duh." Purple said.

"Couldn't you guys just do that in the first place?" Wendy asked as the Tallest shrugged.

Then the boys showed up. "What happened to Da-" and the Tallest froze them too.

"Stop that!" Wendy took the ray off them. "Please tell me they'll be alright!"

"Don't worry, they're fine." Red moved toward them and knocked the ice. "This will put them in a relaxing state in about an hour after the ice instantly melts. No damage to the body whatsoever."

"Huh." Wendy examined the ice. "So what you're saying is that using this should calm them down every time I get stressed?"

"Right." The two said.

Wendy looked them over and felt impressed. "Looks like you guys deserve a reward for the best present that I'll so go crazy with power. Who wants chocolate coated pretzels?"

"ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!" shouted Purple.

…

"Yes, we've found a secret base that no enemy will even think of looking." Red spoke to Zim through a communicator device. "Just make sure you avoid us until we're needed. And by needed I mean when that Vampire is caught and questioned."

Zim saluted. "As you command, my Tallest!"

Zim hung up and Red dropped on a bed. "Finally …. After his five hour long call."

Purple was in his separate bed as he ate some chips. "Do we even need sleep?"

"No, but we deserve it after living under a roof with Zim." Red sighed. "You know, I enjoyed this other dimension's Earth and consider keeping this place in whole for any future vacation plans, but we need to return home soon. Our Massive is leaderless."

"And we're the only ones who are Tall right now." Purple swallowed a mouthful of chips. "Mmmrmrrrmmh."

Red looked up to the ceiling. "Now if only there was a way to return home."

Red's train of thought was interrupted by a small knock on the window. The alien looked out to see a small figure out the window, with a large head and antennas. "I swear if that's Zim." Red sat up and opened the window. In a flash the figure jumped right it with haste.

"Invader Zim. We ordered you to ….. wait, you're not Zim."

"Oh what a relief." Purple sighed. "You're just ….. hey. I remember you. You're Invader …. Invader…"

The Irken stood up and revealed itself. It had square-curled antennae and dark purple eyes. "My Tallest." It said in a feminine voice. "You may have forgotten my plan to … inherit Zim's assigned mission." The Irken grinned devilishly. "I am Tak, your humble soon to be Invader." She held out her hand and the same kind of robotic insects swarmed around her. "And I have plans for this, Gravity Falls, and its …. Inhabitants!"

**End of Chapter**

**22-5-14-7-5-1-14-3-5**

**1-14-4**

**1-14-7-5-18**

**6-21-5-12-19**

**8-1-20-18-5-4**

**1-14-4**

**9'-13 **

**19-9-3-11 **

**15-6**

**20-8-9-19**

**3-15-4-5**

**20-8-9-14-7**

**A/N:** Wow, I can't believe it has been over a year since I started writing this, and that Gravity Falls have officially ended. Sigh …

But alas, the ending of this is coming too. I'm planning between two-three more chapters. Hope you are all enjoying this.


	14. Tak's Revenge

**Chapter 14: **Tak's Revenge

"GIR, everything is going according to plan." Zim snickered quietly with a remote in his hands. "If this test is successful, all of Gravity Falls will bow down to me, ZIIIIIIIM!"

Zim was several feet away from the shack with GIR and Minimoose.

"But we must be quiet about this. We don't want the DIB HUMAN to hear us."

"_Okay Dokey." _GIR said quietly.

"I SAID BE QUIET!" Zim shouted. "Now watch and learn…" Zim used the remote to command a single Gnome to walk forward.

"Shmebulock."

"Goooood. Now dance!" Zim pressed the button and Shmebulock started to perform the rain dance. "Yes …. Yesssss …. YEEEESSSS! Soon all of Gravity Fall's creatures will be mine! Then I'll bring them all back to our dimension so I can destroy Earth! And since it won't be this Earth, my treaty is still in tacked!"

"I saw her going to Wendy's house." GIR randomly said.

"Silence, GIR. I have no time! We need to duplicate the Tallest's mind control bug machine and find all the mysterious creatures here!"

Unfortunately for Zim; Dipper, Mabel, and Dib were only a few feet away the entire time. Mabel walked over to Schmebulock, took the bug robot right off, smashed it, and gave Schmebulock a cookie.

"NOOOOOO! You've defeated me yet again. But the invasion is just beginning!"

"And soon it will fail before it learns to crawl." Dib answered back heroically. "Righteousness if victorious against-"

"Dib, Zim. Will you please keep focus?!" Dipper said with McGucket and his pet Chupacabra next to him. "McGucket is remembering something."

On one of Mabel's notebooks, McGucket was drawing a vague image of the supposed Vampire. "Add the ducktape weapon thingy here and this is the best I got."

The old man showed the kids a sketch of a very fat animal with a round body, large huffs for feet, and a large mouth with unusual misplaced fangs. "Now I only seen this here fella once, but I know what pure nightmare looks like. Especially what made me want to forget everything."

The Chupacabra, Fluffy, whimpered sadly.

Dipper and Dib looked at the vampire. "Well it's definitely not humanoid." Dipper said. "But at least we're on the right track."

Dib looked over the notes they have so far. 'Use hoofs to crush prey, transport people, was seen thirty years ago by the author, has a connection with Bill Cipher and another person in Dib and Zim's world, and wields a ducktape like weapon. "Very interesting. And since this thing can send people to other worlds, it could originate here, back home, or anywhere."

"And Bill said that someone from your world made a deal with him." Dipper added. "You probably have some enemies that hate you other than Zim, right?"

"Only one I can think of." Dib mentioned. "But who to say it's an entirely new enemy."

"Good point." Dipper tapped his chin. "Dib, before you were sucked into this world, can you recall what you were doing before with Zim?"

Dib recalled their argument back at School. "Let's see, I think I was accusing Zim of ….. ooooh. Oooooh this could be bad!" Dib held his head. "And there was no way Zim had it. He would have used it by now for his evil scheme!"

"What?" Zim asked.

"What are you talking about , Dib?"

As Dipper discussed with Dib, Mabel looked at the notebook. "Ducktape? McGucket, can you think reeeeally hard about this one?" Mabel showed the man the note. "I think I'm having a brainstorm."

The kids and alien noticed the old man trying to remember something and paid close attention as McGucket tried thinking. "Eeeegih IIIRRRRRRRRR ….. wait a darn second! I remembered!" The old man smiled. "It wasn't ducktape, it was tape measure."

"Tape measure?" they asked.

"Why did it have tape measure?" Dib asked.

"AHA!" Mabel shouted with joy. "Dipper! Dipper! Remember the special kind of tape measure we used before?"

It only took Dipper a quick moment to realize what Mabel was thinking. "You don't think it was-"

"Mabel, D-Dipper!"

The twins turned to see Blendin Blandin running towards them. "T-T-T-There you aaaare. I've b-been looking all over for y-you."

"Blendin? What are you doing here?" Dipper asked as Mabel informed the group who he is and where(when) he came from.

"A time traveler. Amazing!" Dib said.

"Time travel? I'm not trying that again!" Zim said.

"_In the end, I got my Piggys back_!" GIR said.

"Kids, my Tape Measure Time Machine h-have been stolen by some w-wild animal!" Blendin briefly explained that he was here for a checkup and some fat animal ran off with it. "It happened a few weeks ago, sometime before that Mystery Shack had those two aliens as attractions." Blendin pointed at Stan throwing out a cardboard cutout of the Tallest.

Dipper felt quite surprised by this sudden break in the mystery. "Well that confirms that the vampire came from our current time."

"V-Vampire!?" Blendin asked in a panic.

"And it was smart enough to use the Time machine to explore and send us here." Dib said.

"But besides this nacho, who else could be behind the vampire?" Zim started speculating. "It is true that, despite our enemy-bondy thing, we've shared many foes."

"_Like Tak_." GIR said. "_I saw her_-"

"Be quiet!" Zim shouted. "As I was saying-"

"Zim." Dipper interrupted him.

"I SAID-"

"Just hold on there, I think you're overlooking something huge." Dipper turned to GIR. "And can you hold that thought till after this? This may be about a possible clue and/or threat." Dipper kneeled down to GIR. "You've mentioned someone named Tak. Will you please tell us if you know Tak's here?"

"_Thank you for saying pleaaaaase."_ GIR smiled. "I saw Tak going to Wendy's house yesterday."

"W-WHAT?!" everyone shouted.

Dipper grabbed both Dib and Zim. "Who's Tak?!"

"She's a fellow invader like me, ZIIIM!" The green alien said. "But she wants my job and lied about how the Tallest hate me! Can you believe it?"

"I know, right." Dib spoke. "How can she think you're a failure?"

Dipper groaned as Mabel awed at the bonding moment. "Fill us in while we go save Wendy!"

"Dude, I'm right here." They turned to see Wendy riding her bike towards them. "Just letting you know that some Irkien girl showed up at my place last night."

"Must. Ship. Tak. With. Zim." Mabel said in a robot voice.

Dib asked multiple questions about Tak which started overwhelming the teen. "Chill, right now she's talking with the Tallest over at my- I mean their secret base."

"Which is at your house!" Zim shouted, which made Wendy slap her face. "Genius thinking. No one will ever think of exploring a dangerous land with that muscle human!"

Wendy parked her bike and removed her helmet. "Last I heard they're going to that big boulder near the creek. She said she got a big surprised for the Tallest."

"Which must be something evil!" Dib said. "After her! Human race, Human race!"

"_Human race, Human race_."

"GIR, wrong side!" Zim folded his arms. "You know, Tak and I are still loyal to the Tallest, so whatever she has planned must be for our benefit ….. but what if it's about taking my job again!" Zim activated his spider legs. "Everyone's coming to stop Tak so I don't look like a traitor!"

"Even us?" McGucket said.

"YEEEESSSS!"

McGucket did a little dance as Blendin looked completely lost. "Wait, what's happening?"

* * *

On top of a large boulder, the Tallest were sitting in chairs, sipping soda as Tak stood in front of them. "My Tallest, I have located and placed a robotic insect onto a handful of monsters in this wilderness to be used as your slaves. They will be of great use to us in invading other planets."

"That sounds interesting." Purple said, slurping down his jug of soda.

"I approve if this." Red said. "Just think of all those helpless lower races screaming in terror when we send in ox-people and flying fire lizards." The Tallest snickered with each other and gave some small comments. "However, we find it in our best interest for this town to remain unharmed."

"And Wendy, she's awesome!"

"And Wendy."

Tak bowed to her masters. "Your wish is my command. And I'll save any violence until we find our way home, unless provoked of course." Tak smiled. "And since Zim and I have our grudges for one another, I find it best that I remain unnoticed till the time being."

"Go right ahead." Red said.

"We're doing the same thing!" Purple and Red laughed together.

Tak took out a remote. "Now behold; your new army!"

With a push of a button, a horde of Gravity Falls' creatures appeared from the forest which includes Gnomes, trolls, bigfoot, Lilliputians, Leprechauns, Gremoblins, zombies, and other creatures.

"And this is only the beginning." Tak explained. "We'll send these creatures to our world's Earth as a test, then we'll capture more monsters from here and advance them with our technology, the Irken Empire will be unstoppable!"

"Not unless stop you!"

Tak gasped as she looked down at the heroes approaching them, which now includes Soos, Stan, Waddles, Membrane, and Miss Bitters.

"Wait, how'd I get here?" Stan asked as Soos shrugged.

Membrane looked at all the creatures and laughed. "My head damage is greater than I thought. I must invent something when I'm back to my old self to prevent something like this again." Dib sighed to himself in annoyance.

Mabel pointed at Tak as the Tallest hid from Zim. "Tak! We have come to hook you up with Zim!"

"Huh?" both Tak and Zim asked.

"No, we are not!" Dipper told her sister and looked directly at Tak. "So you must be Tak."

"And you must be annoying."

The Tallest snickered in the background.

"But my main concern is you two!" Tak pointed at Dib and Zim. "You and your other allies have ruined my plans back on Earth. I will not allow the same to happen again!" With a snap of a finger, all the monsters turned towards the heroes with red glowing eyes.

"Ha, seems like my brain wants me to partake in this fantasy-style fight." Membrane laughed.

"You shall regret everything!" Miss Bitters slithered around the scientists and stare him straight in the face. "Suffer…." She then floated to the Gremoblin and looked at it in the eyes as well. "And you too!"

Suddenly the Gremoblin started shivering and slouched into a needle position.

"Wait, what is this!?" Tak shouted. "You cannot win, you are mere humans! Humans I say!" All of the creatures started growling. "Show them no mercy!"

As the monsters charged, everyone looked at one another and nodded.

"Everyone!" Dipper and Mabel spoke.

"Let's do this!" shouted Dib and Zim as they all charged after the monsters.

Dipper and Mabel kicked and punched some Gnomes away and Mabel used her Grappling hook to get her and Dipper away from two Manotaurs that knocked each other out from impact.

With a titanium bat, Stan whacked a group of flying eyeballs and pickpocketed a Leprechaun.

Membrane punched the heads off of each zombie while GIR tried tapping them back up. "_O.K. now_?"

Minimoose noticed some giant vampire (fruit) bats flying towards them and shot each one down. "Squeak."

Wendy, with her trusty hatchet, took down each monster in her path. She was about to reach the boulder, but then some large, light blue bird swooped in and shot an ice beam around the rock.

"You must be Wendy." Tak spoke to the red-head. "The Tallest order me to not harm you. Why not join us?" Tak grinned. "Together, we AAAH!" Wendy threw a rock directly at Tak's eye and then stuck her tongue out. "You UNGRATEFUL MINDLESS RED HAIR!"

"….I'm sorry, what are you referring to with 'mindless'?" Wendy's blood started boiling as she threw the hatchet towards the alien.

Tak immediately covered the remote with her hands and ducked down.

"That must be your toy." Wendy smirked. "Why not smash it and save both of us the-" Suddenly Wendy was caught off guard as the bird froze her in place.

"WENDY!" shouted Dipper right before a miniature Quetzalcoatl wrapped around him and Mabel.

"Don't worry, I'll save you!" Soos ran ahead, but then a Sphinx blocked his path. "What gets wetter as it dries?"

"Oh boy."

Tak laughed at a pterodactyl lifted up the icecube Corduroy. "Do not worry about her. She'll be fine, unlike the rest of you!" Tak laughed as more monsters started to appear.

"I've faced like a hundred zombies before, but I'm still in my late sixties!" Stan shouted at he narrowly dodged a Zombie's bite.

"And I'm getting bored." Miss Bitters stated. "By the way, you're all nothing!"

Even Minimoose was being pinned to the ground by a Golem while GIR does something stupid. "_I'm gonna vote for McDonald Trumpet_ _and Celery …. I can't think of a good rhyme._"

Tak laughed as everyone was slowly being captured, all accept Zim and Dib. "Of course you shall be the last." With a heinous smile, she activated her pak and jumped off the boulder. "Which is why I will enjoy destroying you myself!" Her pak then covered her in a futuristic armor with a laser sword and a force shield. "Now die!"

Red and Purple poked their heads out from behind the boulder. "Hm, why didn't we just 'destroy' Zim in the first place?"

Purple only shrugged.

Dib and Zim stepped back as Tak slashed her laser sword in the air, and yes it does make that specific noise. "Who shall I destroy first? The one that ruined my life, or the only intelligent human from my world?"

"Ha, as if you can destroy me!" Zim laughed with pride. "And if anyone's going to destroy the Dib human, it shall be me!"

"And I'm the only one that will stop Zim!" Dib glared at the alien. "So looks like the only option is for the both of us to defeat you!"

"They're bonding!" Mabel gleed. "Isn't this great, bird-snake?"

The Quetzalcoatl gave her an odd look as Dipper sighed, but then noticed the robotic insect on the creature. "If I can just reach far enough…"

Then Waddles walked towards them. "Waddles." Dipper spoke quietly to not get the snake's attention. "Come here, boy. Eat the bug, eat the bug." Suddenly Waddles rose his head and ran the other direction, leaving Dipper disappointed and annoyed.

Back to the fight, Tak was having a difficult time to even take one strike on Dib while Zim tried stabbing her with his robotic legs. Sadly Tak slashed the legs with her sword and hit Dib in the head. She was about to stab him, but Zim shot a laser at her and threw Dib away.

Zim continued to shoot lasers, but Tak dodged them all and actually deflected one near Soos.

"Hey, I'm thinking here!" Soos shouted as he continues to solve the riddle of the now bored out of her mind sphinx.

Tak was deflecting all of Zim's lasers, but then Dib ran in and tried tripping the female Irken, only for Tak to jump over him and threw the shield right at his big head. "You think you can distract me like that?" Tak held her hand out and began shooting lasers of her own.

"Daaah!" Zim jumped away from the laser and used his robotic legs to climb into the trees. There he hid from Tak and shot multiple lasers as he moved around undetected, for about five seconds before Tak activated her heat signature and shot a branch where Zim was standing on.

With a robotic leg ready to stab Zim, Tak's helmet was then covered by mud Dib had thrown from the river. Zim then tripped her and zapped her several times.

"Surrender, Tak. We have the advantage!" Zim laughed.

"Oh you really think so?" Tak smiled underneath her helmet. "This isn't even my final form!"

"Of course you'll say that." Dib said in defeat as Tak's suit suddenly transformed into a ten foot tall robot with jet packs, lasers, duel beam swords, and rockets on its arms. "Well it won't matter because we shall-"

Tak only had to lift one finger and a bubble was shot from it that caught both of them. The two struggled as hard as they could and even tried popping it with sharp objects, but nothing worked.

"Do you not see it yet?" Tak said with excitement. "This is unlike anything you were ever given, Zim. This is the latest combat suit designed by the Irken Empire!" Tak laughed as now Blendin, Membrane, Ms. Bitters, GIR, Minimoose, Dipper, and Mabel were thrown in a cage. "We shall invade our original world and conquer the Earth, then we will set out onto other planets and use Gravity Falls as our resource center!"

"And Vacation spot!" shouted the Tallest.

"There is no one that can defeat us, no one!"

Tak's villainous moment was interrupted by a loud squeal. "What is that?"

Mabel turned around and gasped happily. "WADDLES!"

Waddles walked from out of the forest with his typical pig attitude.

"So, is this creature going to face me?" Tak laughed as she walked towards the pig. "You are nothing, nothing at all. You are just a weak, pathetic, single-"

Suddenly something appeared from the forest right behind Waddles, something just as big as Tak. "S-Single?" Tak stood back to see the horrifying hairy beast breathy heavily on her. "What monstrosity is this!?'

Zim cried in fear as Dib examined the beast. "It looks like a giant boar."

"Waddles made a new friend!" Mabel smiled as Dipper looked at the monster closely. "Giant rounded monster."

Dib also examined the boar. "Hooves capable of crushing."

"Biggest attraction." Stan said.

"Giant bacon." Soos said.

"Incorrect." said the Sphinx.

"Darn it!"

Mabel, Dipper, Dib, and Zim then all shouted. "Is that …."

"T-That's the m-m-monster that took my time machine!" Blendin confirmed the monster as the time traveling-dimension warping vampire they've been searching the entire time.

The boar vampire roared at Tak as the alien held her hand out. "D-Don't make any sudden move, or else I'll-"

With great swiftness, the vampire bit onto the arm and torn it right off.

"NOOOOO!" Tak activated her second robotic arm, but the vampire turned around and kicked the alien mech suit with great force, shattering vital parts that caused the suit to malfunction. "I shall not lose to a beast! Minions, attack!"

All of the creatures ran toward the vampire, but the hog just bolted and knocked into each and every one of them, including the manotaurs.

"_GO PIGGY!" _GIR shouted from inside the cage. "_I'm gonna give it a hug_!" GIR then torn the cage door right off with his strength.

"And of course you were stupid enough to wait till now." Dipper added as everyone ran out of the cage. Dipper noticed Tak having a difficult time controlling her suit. "Everyone, we need to get that device off of Tak. First we'll make a distraction to-"

"Already on it!" Dipper looked to see Wendy unfrozen, climbing onto the robotic suit. "Wendy?"

"Sorry Tak!" shouted the Tallest. "We just couldn't let Wendy be frozen the entire time." Red stated.

"And on the other hand, you kind of already lost." Purple mentioned.

Wendy broke into the cockpit of the suit and grabbed ahold of Tak. "And this is for freezing me." Wendy punched the alien in the face. "And this is for attacking my friends!" Wendy punched her again. "And this is for fun!" Wendy took the device off of Tak and kicked her off the robot. "And this is because I'm a Flippin Corduroy!" Wendy threw the device on the ground and shattered it into pieces.

All of the robotic insects on the creatures began to malfunction and fell right off, returning them back to normal.

"Where am I?" Jeff asked as the Gremoblin shrugged.

"I feel like I was taking order from a girl!" shouted Chutzpar.

Then they all looked at the ferocious looking boar and ran as fast as their feet can carry them.

"Carry me, faster!" Jeff shouted at his Gnome minions as they disappeared into the wilderness.

Mabel ran up ahead and jumped for joy. "We did it!" She then tackled Waddles and cuddled him. "You and that vampire did it!" Upon realization, Mabel slowly turned towards the behemoth looking down upon her. "Uh oh."

"Mabel!" Dipper ran ahead, but was stopped dead in his tracks when the vampire boar licked Mabel and started acting like a dog. "Well then … that's a relief."

"And yet somehow disappointing." Zim pondered. "Which reminds me ….. TAK!" Zim jumped to his nemesis being tied up thanks to Wendy. "You've made a deal with the triangle and sent us all here in this other dimension because you wanted my JOB!"

"…. What are you talking about you buffoon?!" Tak snarled at Zim. "If you think I was involved with those portals, you are wrong. I was a victim myself."

(Flashback)

"As I was hurdling through space, I came across a-"

"I DON'T CARE!?"

(Flashback interrupted by Zim)

"You shook hands with the dorito and now this Vampire Piggy is here liking the Mabel Syrup!"

Tak looked at the playful boar as Blendin took his time machine back. "I-I-I have enough of this!" He warped back into his own time, but Tak just ignored him and looked back at everyone else. "Mind controlling those creatures was my only plot. That is all."

"It's true." Red and Purple walked into the scene with snacks in their hands. "Her pak reads A-O.K."

"But that fight was amazing!" Purple shouted. "Do it again!"

"Wait, hold on." Mabel stood up. "So Tak didn't make a deal with Bill, then who did …. And brought this adorable blocky looking vampire piggy with us?"

Dib pondered around in place, gathering the clues they've found. "Well we've only uncovered clues about the vampire, which is standing right here and not as all threatening …. Blocky?" Dib took a closer look at the boar and found it to be pixilated, and very very cartoonish. "Yikes, this looks exactly like those vampire piggies in my sister's game."

"Right, you have a sister." Mabel smiled. "Can she date Dipper? … Your sister's game?"

Everyone turned to Dib, who looked very concern. "What?"

"Dib?" Dipper hesitated to ask. "I your sister …. Evil?"

"Evil?! Don't make me laugh." Dib smiled. "She helped me saved the world, and actually knows Zim is an alien."

"Ha, my brain images are getting funnier and funnier by the minute." Membrane laughed. "And my precious girl will never do anything embarrassing."

Dib laughed again. "But she would make a vampire piggy real just to blow it up, but I doubt she'll ever make a deal with Bill for that. All she needs is that …. Oh boy."

Fear struck the mystery twins. "What is it now?"

"That relic." Dib spoke.

"Relic?" the twins asked.

"Heh?" Zim glanced at Dib. "Wait …. I remember now!"

(Flashback)

Before they were all sucked into Gravity Falls, Dib and Zim were arguing at school.

"Where is that relic, Zim?" Dib pointed at Zim. "You know that it has the power to create anything you think of, the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy."

Zim laughed. "Ha, as if I know what this so-called Pully-Lifty-Zuesy is!"

"_A few days before all this happened, my sister and I uncovered an ancient relic called the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy" Dib explained to all of them._

"_I don't get it." Mabel spoke._

"_It's a reference to Deus-ex-machina." Dipper explained._

"_Oh, but what about that Zuesy part?"_

"_Just look up Deus-ex-machina."_

"_Heh, Zues rhymes with Soos." Soos spoke randomly._

"_Will you guys focus!" Dib shouted. _

Dib and Zim glared at each other as GIR and Minimoose stood close. "You know that when Gaz and I found it, I've created a ghost from right out of my mind. You stole it and want to use it for yourself."

"Ha again! As if I'll use that for me, it shall be for the Tallest! That way they can thank me and tell me how great I am to them, even though I'm nothing compared to them."

"_You know, at least he respects us." Red whispered to Purple._

Then a portal opened up and sucked the four in.

(End Flashback)

"… was that it?" Dipper asked as the Gravity Falls gang gave Dib an odd look.

"Yeah … that's about right." Dib light up and looked directly at Zim. "You had it the entire time!" Dib then tackled Zim and the two wrestled for a moment before Wendy picked both of them up and bonked their heads into each other.

"Alright, we are getting to the bottom of this. This is taking too long and I want to go home!"

"And I'm not making money at the shack." Stan said. "….. and I left the Mystery Shack open. With the cash register unguarded!" Stan hopped onto a golf cart and drove off.

"Well there he goes." Dipper said. "Anyone else wants to leave?"

"Uuuuuh, I got to get back to the shack, dude." Soos said. "Mr. Pines might need me."

"And he needs me too." Wendy sighed. "Unless, something shows up that has to do with all of this and I have no choice but to skip work!" Wendy's eyes glistered as she looked around, only to turn to face a large eyeball.

"Helllllo Red!"

Wendy yelped and instinctively punched the eye.

"Ow, my eye!" the eyeball shrank down and use his black arm to rub his eye. "You got a lot of guts. No wonder Pine Tree has a lot of pictures of you."

"BILL!" Dipper, Mabel, and Soos shouted. "You …. Liar." Dipper said by himself.

"As in Bill Cipher!?" Dib shouted as Zim gasped.

"You are the one that caused all of this!" Zim shouted. "Prepare to face my wrath!"

Zim ran towards the Dream Demon, but Bill suddenly turned to a pile of polluted water, which burned Zim's skin. "AAAAAAAAH!"

"Take it easy Peridot." Bill laughed. "I haven't even told you what's going on with that Girl who made a deal with me."

"W-What?!" Dib shouted. "Are you talking about Gaz?"

"No no." Bill floated down to Dib. "I'm talking about your mom. Just kidding, you never had a biological mother."

"Whaaaaa?" Dib asked as Membrane slowly stepped away.

"Well there goes my questions about the talking Mr. Peanut ripoff." Wendy said to herself.

Bill turned toward the tense Dipper. "Want me to tell you all what's going on?"

"Yes Bill, tell us!" Dipper shouted.

"Well I will …. Next time!"

"More waiting?" asked Soos with disappointment. "It's been like forever since ….. hey, where's Old Man McGucket?"

* * *

"I'm a thinkin we should have gone with them, Fluffy." McGucket and Fluffy stood at the Mystery Shack. "Feel like I'm missin something big which could have revealed startling answers.

* * *

"What's the matter? Do really want answers?" Bill asked the group.

"Yeeees." The impatient group asked.

"Are you suuuuuuure?"

"Just tell us!"

Bill swirled his cane around. "Well your sister Gaz had so many little options when ... before I go any farther, can any of you tell me what this is." Bill created several head and lifted them up into the sky.

"Floating heads?" Dib asked.

"Guess again?"

"Angel heads." Mabel asked.

"Why not let all street tongue here answer it." Bill wrapped his arm around Soos.

"Not another riddle!"

"Come on, you can do it!" Bill said happily. "Do it for Grandma."

"Abelita?" Soos turned his cap and looked at the floating heads. "Let's see …. How about …. Heads up?"

"Bingo!" Bill shouted. "See you all back in Zim's world."

"Zim's world, what are you-"

Suddenly a portal opened up in the middle of the group. The force of the portal and the sudden appearance gave them little time to react and they were all sucked in.

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" Bill laughed. "Things are going according to plan. Oh boy I can't wait to see the look on Gaz's face. She'd already been through enough. Ah ha ha ha!" Bill laughed as he allowed himself get sucked into the portal.

What is going on back at Zim's World? What's happening with Gaz? And why ….. what am I doing? I don't need to tell you what to think. I'm out of here.

**End of Chapter**

**A/N: **Well this fanfiction is over a year old and I'm starting to lose interest in this, also this was started before 'Not what He Seems' so there's that. So the next chapter shall be the finale.

Also those codes are getting too annoying


	15. The Great Big Finale part 1

**Chapter 15: **The Great Big Finale: Part 1

"…Uhhhhh…." Dipper slowly stood up and felt his huge head. "What happened ….. BILL!" Dipper jolted up and looked to see all his friends slowly coming conscious, including Tak.

He ran up to Mabel first to check if she was O.K.

"When am I not O.K.?" Mabel said with a smile. "Besides those Summer Love losses." She quietly whimpered.

"I'm fine." Dib answered.

"I'm more fine!" Zim said loudly.

They all got up one by one and looked at their surrounding; a gloomy looking neighborhood with some weird looking people who were oblivious to the portal above the group that was slowly closing.

"Hey, we're back home." Dib said with joy, and then noticed that Zim is without his disguise and a few of his classmates are walking by. He quickly grabbed Zim and dragged the alien to the kids. "LOOK! ZIM! ALIEN!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Zim shouted as he shields himself.

The kids just looked at each other and laughed. "Ha, as if we can fall for that rubber mask."

Dipper was surprisingly shocked by their reaction. "This isn't rubber." Dipper pulled on Zim's antennas which caused the alien to shriek.

"Or maybe he was just 'born different' huh?" One kid talked down to them. "Common, let's get away from these freaks."

The Gravity Falls gang, along with the Irkens, were just surprised by how stupid these humans are.

"They cannot be serious." Wendy complained. "I mean that looks nothing like rubber!" Wendy recalled the stories Dib told about saving everyone and not getting credit. "If I was Dib, I would have gone berserk years ago."

"And to think your family stresses you out." Purple state.

Red floated up to the people who were not fazed by his presence. "Zim reported that Humans were tall and yet stupid."

"Your welcome, my Tallest!"

"But this is ridiculous!"

"You said it." Purple floated to him. "That portal dropped us off here where everyone can see, we're not in any disguises, GIR is shooting rockets, and giant floating pigs are in the sky."

.

.

.

Everyone slowly looked up to see that the sky was being overtaken by countless Vampire Piggys flying around. They looked back to the ground and saw that the piggies are also spreading throughout the town and city. But most of all, off into the city, they could easily spot a massive vampire piggy practically impaled on a tower where more piggys swarming around it like their queen.

"O.K." Dipper took a deep breath. "Does anyone else NOT notice THAT!?" Dipper shouted to some random people, who all just told him to shut up and that it's just some Halloween decoration. "Daaaaaah!" Dipper nearly pulled his hair out in anger. "Dib, this, this cannot be real!" Dipper shouted to the high heavens. "I mean no one is this stupid! Pigs are literally flying above their heads, flying pigs for gosh sake!"

"And they don't look like they've bathed in a while." Soos added.

Even Mabel felt uneasy from the odd and mindless look of some people and the darker tone of color this world has. "I wanna go home." Mabel said as Waddles curled up next to her.

"_This is home._" GIR randomly said.

Dib looked away from the newcomers' reaction and looked straight towards the tower. "What happened to my city? …. What happened to Gaz!" Dib gasped from realization. "We need to find my sister, who knows what Bill did to her!"

The atmosphere around really tightened for our heroes. Now they must-

"Well you kids have fun." Membrane said. "I'm going to cure my mind from these hallucinations." Membrane walked away.

…..O.K. As I was-

"I'm leaving also. I need to grade all your FAILED homework assignments." Miss Bitters floated away.

Alright, now our heroes must find Gaz and-

"Dib!" shouted Dipper. "Please tell me you did not notice your teacher floating like that? …Did she just turn into a shadow!?"

"ENOUGH!" Tak shouted to get everyone's attention.

"What is going on here!?" shouted Tak as the Vampire Piggy from before sniffed her. "Get away you horrid beast!"

The Vampire Piggy whimpered and hid behind Mabel, attempted at least.

"Awwww, you just want some attention." Mabel patted it on the head.

Dipper pinched between his eyes and sighed. "O.K., let's just assume that Gaz is trapped over at that giant pig." Dipper sighed again. "I say we go to Zim's base, which is probably has a terrible disguise and was built loudly in the middle of the night, grab some weapons and ships, and charge right over there."

"Sounds perfect to me." Dib said. "And we can use Taaaaaa-" Dib wanted to mention Tak's ship, but noticed the alien female was standing right there. "aaaaaaasers! Yes, tasers should be good!"

"Whatever." snarled Tak. "I shall tolerate you all and follow the Tallest's command."

"Good on our terms." Red took a deep breath. "So it will appear that we will head to ….. Zim's base…."

"I'll treat you all to the Human snacks!" shouted Zim. "GIR! Fly ahead and prepare the waffles!"

"_Hooray_!" GIR flew up ahead as the others followed Zim.

They eventually reached Zim's creepy looking home with big-eyed garden gnomes and large wires attached to other buildings.

"Yep, just like I guessed." Dipper said as Zim allowed them all to enter inside. "My Tallest! And Dib and others. Welcome to my base!"

Everyone looked around the room as GIR brought in waffles.

"Dudes, you got to eat this." Soos said as he and the Tallest dig in.

"Mmmmm-M!" Red and Purple said in union. "Zim, keep whatever makes these waffles safe."

"As you command!" Zim bowed. He stood up and spoke formally to the ceiling. "Computer, are you still operational."

"_Yessss_…" It said in an uninterested tone.

"Sounds like me at work." Wendy said.

Zim ordered his computer to reveal what had happened when he was away.

"_Oh, nothing really. Been quiet, until that freak showed up._"

"Freeeeak?" Zim asked. "What Freeeak? Was it the Freak of all Earth's nature I've heard about."

"_I dunno. He just wanted to make a video for you all."_ A screen lowered and showed a random man in Zim's house.

'Hello, stupid kids. It's me, Bill Cipher!'

"Oh my gosh, Bill possessed a human!" shouted Dib.

"_Be quiet._" The computer ordered as the video continued to play.

'Now you are all probably wondering why you were all sent here? Why flying ham is in the sky? And how does this all relate to Dib's precious wibble sister.'

"Where is Gaz!" shouted Dib. "Tell me now or suffer my vengeance."

Then something heavy was dropped on Dib.

"_I said be quiet. And this is a recorded video._" Computer played the video.

'Well here's a twist. My client all this time was none other than your sister!'

Dib was the most shocked from hearing this information. The others, not so much.

'She summoned me and we made a deal. With my instructions on how to use the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy you kids randomly found without saying anything about it, she warped you all to Gravity Falls so she can do something important without being disturbed.'

"But what could be so important that she took her own brother to another dime-"

A glass tube landed on Dib, blocking any sound from the boy.

"Thank you." Zim said to the computer.

'And no, I'm not going to go through all the details. Except for that Pig.'

The Vampire Piggy sniffed the screen.

'Gaz accidently sent that there when she created all this. Yes, it was her that did it. Who else. Any-who, apparently Gaz 'cared' enough to have me get that pig back so you can all stay safe, well safe enough. But since you all befriended that thing , I guess all that's left if for all these vampire piggys to destroy your world! Which she is O.K. with."

"Oooooh." The Tallest said. "We should hire her."

'My original deal was when she's done, she will use the Pully-Lifty-Zeusy to bring me directly to Gravity Falls.'

Dipper and Mabel gasped. Just the thought of Bill entering their realm physically would be devastating.

'But alas, I believe this deal will end terribly.' The possessed man looked sad. 'I have a feeling that this is some alternate dimension far from the reach of the original where my true plan will fail here and these events will never be referenced again.'

"Huh?" everyone asked.

'But at least I still have old Sixer and our old deal.' Bill Cipher bowed. 'Now I must go. If you want to find your sister, she's in that Pig on a Stick. Good luck, hope you all die in hilarious ways.'

The video ended.

"_Please tell me that is all I need to do today._" The computer whimpered.

"I feel ya, man." Wendy patted the screen.

The glass tube released Dib and he ran right to the window to see the giant pig. "I didn't hear all that, but my brother instincts tell me Gaz is in there, trapped against her own will."

"…..Riiiiiight." Dipper answered him.

The Tallest looked out the window to see the pig population increasing, from budding.

"Eeeew." Red turned away. "O.K. Pigs are blocking the sky, Zim's here, and I'll guess this world will not last very long. Wanna have a montage of us preparing for battle?"

"By that he means you preparing for battle." Purple added as he munched on some waffles. "These are great, what's in them?"

"_They got waffles in them_." Gir answered.

Dipper placed a hand on Dib's. "Dib, this will not be easy."

Mabel ran over and placed her hand on Dib's other shoulder. "But we'll be with you till the very end!"

"You should be toughing my shoulders!" shouted Zim. "I mean the Tallest shoulders!"

Mabel turned around and smiled. "As if we'll leave you out." She embraced the little invader in a deadly hug.

"You can count on Soos to fix this problem." Soos said with joy.

"The faster we get out of here, the better." Wendy said, looking at a stain on the wall.

"What she said." The Tallest said, sitting on the sofa. "Fix this up and we'll be right here."

Tak growled in anger. "I will despise working with Zim and that human, but if I must."

"I still ship you and Zim." Mabel added.

"What is she talking about?" Tak asked Zim, who only shrugged.

"Squeak." said Mini-Moose.

"Say, were you important in any way?" Soos asked Mini-Moose.

"Oink!" squeal both Waddles and the Vampire Piggy.

Dib looked at everyone's sort-of determined faces. He clenched his fist and threw it in the air. "Mystery Team, let's go!"

"Yeaaaah!"

And so a montage played out, showing our heroes preparing for the upcoming battle … you know. I actually had this whole 'Bill entering Zim's world' plan before Weirdmageddon, heck, even before 'Not What He Seems'. So yeah, that's kind of a good reason why it took me this long to finish, that and my other fanfictions and real life. So sadly I won't go into details about how this montage will go … Oh my gosh, that was hilarious. Oh ho ho, typical Mabel. Awww, what a cute moment with Dipper and Wendy.

And so how heroes boarded a large ship and flew away from Zim's house. The inside was filled with advanced Irken technology to fight against the Vampire Piggy. The cockpit itself was quite roomy, well it was….

"Why are we brining this fat pig with us!" Zim complained as everyone was smushed to the wall thanks to the video-game pig.

"Because he can get us passed security." Mabel answered. "Yes you will, yes you will." Mabel reached and scratched the Vampire Piggy's ear.

"Yeeeesss." Zim rubbed his hands together. "Excellent thinking, Mabel."

"So, you're complimenting a human now." Dib said, as he poked his head from on top the vampire piggy.

"Just for this little alliance, Dib."

"Guys, how long till we get there?" Wendy asked. "Dipper's practically smothering my face here and I have no idea how long he'll last."

Wendy smiled at the red-faced Dipper panicking. "I'm not fainting! I-I'm over you!"

"Suuuure you are." Wendy gave him a playful smile. "And also, I can hardly breath!"

"At least you're not back here with me and this large human!" shouted Tak over at the rear.

"They can hear us, right?" Soos asked, while holding his nose.

The battleship was flying closer and closer to the large Vampire Pig stabbed into the building.

"There it iiiiiiiiissssss." Zim said with dramatic effect. "Our final mystery together. This will test our skills and minds. But I, Zim! Shall overcome this and be ready for anything that piggy has in store for – ENEMY SHIP!" Zim shot down something and it fell to the ground.

"I, Zim! Have saved us from an attack."

"Zim, that kind of looks like an airplane." Mabel pointed out.

"Silence!"

(Don't worry, nobody died or got seriously hurt. Well except for some business man who suffered some head injuries, but at least he's starting to act like a cartoon character. Heh, heh?)

The ship reached the massive pig base as more Vampire Piggys swarmed around their master. "This is it, Vampire Piggys!" shouted Zim.

"Squee?" the friendly Vampire Piggy looked at Zim worrying.

"Not you!" shouted Zim, causing GlR to sigh with relieve. "Now, activate the drill!"

"Wait." All the Gravity Falls characters asked. "Please tell me you're not!"

Their worst fear came true as a giant drill emerge from the ship, aiming right at the giant pig.

"Nobody better open any windows!" shouted Wendy. "Oops, sorry about your ear, man." Wendy apologized to Dipper.

"I'm O.K. ….. just as long as I do not have to look at that!" Dipper gestured to the drill. "At least this pig is blocking our view.

"So you can look into my dreamy eyes, lover boy." Wendy teased, causing Dipper to blush deeper. "But seriously, I am going to be sick from that."

"I can't watch!" shouted Mabel as she blocked Waddles eyes.

"_Why not? Have you gone blind_?" asked GIR. "_You can borrow one of mine."_

"Allies!" spoke Zim as he grasp a lever. "Our invasion starts now!"

Zim activated the drill, and –

(Intermission)

"We're in!" cheered Zim as he landed the ship and opened the main entranceway.

"I don't feel so good!" Mabel rushed out of the ship with a green face.

"Hey, at least the pig regenerates." Zim said.

"You think that made it O.K. for us!" shouted Dib.

"Ha, humans are so weak!" shouted Zim with pride for his race.

"Shush your trap! You worthless excuse for an Invader!" Tak said quietly. "And yes, that was disgusting!"

"I need to throw up too." Soos said, covering his mouth.

Mini-Moose floated to Wendy, who was trying to wake up an unconscious Dipper. "Come on, man. That was an accident." Wendy's face was completely red, as she nervously tries to wake up an even redder Dipper. "Dude, our lips touched by accident when that pig moved. That wasn't a …. O.K. for a split second it was a kiss, but still a major accident!"

Dipper remained unresponsive.

Wendy felt her head. "How can this get any … Oh my gosh." Wendy and all the others looked at their surroundings, the inside of the massive pig.

"Uuuuuh, what happened?" Dipper slowly got up. "I dreamt that some kid and alien came to our dimension, and then we went to their dimension and I had the best and worst experience of my …." Dipper was the last to gaze at the inside of the massive behemoth.

The entire thing was practically hollow, except for all the organs and blood vessels moving around naturally in the most disturbing way possible.

Dipper's red face quickly turned green and he rushed right where Soos and Mabel were currently at.

"Move it or lose it!" shouted Wendy where she took need to throw up.

"For your information, I shall destroy both Bill and this Gaz for these disgusting displays." Tak said as she took out a laser sword.

"You will not place a finger on Gaz." Dib shouted. "Bill Cipher though? Go for it."

"Deal."

Zim used his pak to take out a screen showing the Tallest. "My Tallest, we have entered the giant piggy." Zim happily reported. "How is the big laser!"

'Pretty good.' Red said, sipping soda on the couch. "Just tell us when you're all out, and we'll fire."

"Just make sure 'you' stay to make sure everything gets blown up." Purple said as Red snickers.

"Dude, that is uncool." Soos said, feeling much better.

"Guys." Mabel said. "Let's make sure we never come to this dimension again."

"You said it." Dipper felt his stomach. "That was the most disturbing thing I had to sit through."

"Hey!" shouted Wendy. "That should have been the best ki …. The pig organs, yeah. They blow."

Mabel felt her stomach. "My Mabel senses are tingling, but my stomach is making me not care."

"Will you all be quiet, you'll blow our cover!" Tak whispered as she took out some advance binoculars to examine the surrounding.

It was indeed a disturbing place. Organs operating, blood being pumped from the heart, the stomach digesting who knows what, but what caught her attention was all the Vampire Piggys swarming around the brain.

"My instincts tell me that your sister is at the brain." Tak pointed at the upper area. "But it is unwise to charge forward like this. There is no other cover."

Waddles sniffed the flooring and pointed down a hallway.

"You find something, boy?" Mabel asked as she approached the hallway. "This yucky area looks like a great place to go."

Tak looked down the hallway. "It may be risky, but there will be a lower chance of being spotted, and yet." She turned to the others. "We do not know what's down there, or who for that matter."

GIR flew into the ship and brought out a bunch of weapons.

Tak took a laser and charged it. "We need to be stealthy so we will not alert!"

"I am ZIIIIIIIIIM!" Zim dashed into the hallway, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"I-Idiot!" Tak shouted, right after they hear Zim cry in pain as roars could be heard.

"Help! I've been captured!" shouted Zim. "Temporary allies from that hallway, help ZIIIIIM!"

Tak nearly theaten all their lives in order for them to stay their ground. "That idiot ruined our cover!"

"Squee!" The Vampire Piggy caught their attention.

"Someone has an idea!" Mabel quietly spoke as she jumped toward the Vampire Piggy, only for the beast to swallow her up.

"MA-" Dipper was then swallowed up as the Vampire Piggy caught Tak, Dib, Mini-Moose, and with a struggle, Wendy.

"Oh well." Soos shrugged and climbed into the Vampire Piggy's mouth.

They weren't eaten, thankfully. Instead their Vampire friend was holding our heroes in its mouth.

They all complained, of course, but all quickly quiet down when three Vampire Piggys came up, with Zim trapped in some sort of bubble.

"Nooooo! They betrayed Zim!" Zim shouted, assuming they all left without them. "Well fine! I'll destroy Bill Cipher and conquer this world for myself!"

The Vampire Pigs gave them no mind as they sniffed the area, looking for any intruders.

The friendly vampire, with a worried face, kept his mouth shut for the pigs' entire search before they left, but also gnawed at the ship to see if it was edible.

The Vampire Piggy let everyone one as he patted for air.

"You saved us!" Mabel cheered, with all of them covered in saliva.

"Dib." Wendy slowly turned to Dib. "If we don't find your sister soon, I'm burning this giant sized pig to the ground!"

Tak shivered as she slowly stood up. "Just ….. Just follow my lead!"

And so we leave our heroes for now in the middle of their quest. But soon, soon we shall meet again to see what fate has in store for them ….. O.K., I thought I might cut the finally in half so you guys don't have to wait this long, especially since I posted this story two years ago. Yikes.

But at least the second one may come out before the anniversary of when Gravity Falls' final episode was aired ….. Gravity Falls ended for nearly a year now …

**End of Chapter**


	16. The Great Big Finale part 2

**Chapter 16: **The Great Big Finale: Part 2

And so it begins.

Zim was recently captured by the Vampire Piggies while our remaining heroes stormed through the giant piggy to find Gaz and rescue Zim.

Being as cautious as possible, they maneuvered around plenty of Piggy guards and avoided pools of stomach acids.

With each step they took, the fleshy floor made a squishy noise that made the Gravity Falls gang want to hurl again.

"My stomach is seriously empty right now, dude." Soos said as they passed by huge pieces of baloney. "And for once I want it empty. That how messed up this place is."

Mabel held onto Dipper tightly as they passed by tubes of people, who seem oblivious that they're in a tube filled with a yellow liquid.

"I miss work." Wendy sighed as she watched two Vampire Piggies rolled around in grey and moldy stuff. "And they even have a cheap fast food place?!" Wendy pointed out at a regular fast food restaurant going through its daily routine and ignorant to the fact that it is inside a giant pig.

"…..Say Dib, I think you should consider moving your family to our world." Dipper suggested.

"And leave this world unguarded, never." Dib then noticed a river of blood flowing by with boats of cargo being delivered. "Look, it's Zim."

Tak used her binoculars and saw Zim in a cage made of freshly removed bone as he shouts about his delusional pride. "It's a prison transport." Tak took notice how the river of blood was moving upwards to a tunnel resembling a large intestine.

Mabel counted 10 Vampire Piggy Guards around the river of blood. "How are we going to get to Zim now?"

"Squerk." Mini-Moose floated to some crates at a dock made of bone.

With as much courage he has, Dipper took a deep breath and opened one of the crates. "…. Potato chips?" Dipper took out a bag of regular chips and opened them. "Just for the record, I'm not eating anything until I take a shower."

"You, take a shower? What a big turn of event." Mabel joked, irritating her brother. "Let's jump right in!"

They all hid in the crates as their Vampire Piggy friend moved them all to the next boat.

"Squee!" Their ally managed to persuade a guard to allow him to deliver the crates to where Zim was taken.

As they ride through the blood, our heroes poked their heads out to see more of the giant pigs inner body.

"I'm going back." Wendy ducked down as they passed by what looks like a slaughter house.

"Quick, Waddles. In here!" Mabel pushed her pet pig's head down as she closed her crate.

"_I hope they're making Tacos_." GIR randomly spoke.

"Shut-UP!" Tak angrily whispered as she examined the process of Earth creatures being turned to nutrients. "Fascinating, this is just like the human business I once used."

"That we stopped." Dib quietly praised himself. "But what are they doing this for?"

Dipper noticed the large machine cartoonishly making cows into actual hamburgers with the use of a treadmill and a single machine. "Whatever it is, no one is eating anything."

"Agree."

The boat eventually made a stop near the center of it all, the brain. The cargo was unloaded with other crates and the Vampire Piggy made the signal for the heroes to leap out.

Dipper poked his head out and saw the brain itself. A powerful and large organ/muscle/whatever it's called with a doorway similar to a government building, and it even runs on AA batteries.

"My sister is in there. I can smell it." Dib heroically said.

"That's not your sister you're smelling." Wendy covered her nose. "Let's just get her out and beat the stuffing out of the main pig guy."

"And that is what we're going to do." Dipper huddled everyone around. "There are two beefy pigs at the entrance way." Dipper shivered as he looked at their piggy buddy. "And we won't be too mobile with those crates ….. sooooooo…."

"Dude, I am not going back in that-" Before Wendy could protest any longer, the piggy swallowed her up.

"I hate this planet." Tak sighed as the piggy swallowed everyone and held them all in its mouth.

The Vampire Piggy frantically made its way into the brain, where it looks exactly like a normal formal building from inside.

"Let me see." The pig opened its mouth slightly to let Mabel see. "This place really need some good decorating by me."

Everyone pierced through the mouth of the vampire as it walked into large doors which lead to an evil looking throne room.

Everyone gasped when they saw Zim at the center, trying to break through his cage as a throne just stands there, facing away.

"Why is this vermin cage invincible to my Irken Technology?!"

"Because of this Pully, whatever. Stupid."

Dib gasped as the throne turned around to reveal a familiar face sitting there. "Gaz."

Gaz, Dib's younger sister, was wearing a royalty cape and a crown made from pork products. "So Bill manage to get that pig back. Is my brother with you?"

"Not anymore!" Zim shouted. "They deserted me, ZIM!"

"I don't blame him." Gaz sighed as she noticed the Vampire Piggy with the unusual looking mouth. "Hey you!" Gaz shouted at the nervous pig. "Spit out my brother!"

Dib and the others gasped.

"Busted." Mabel said.

"GAAAAAZ!" Dib jumped out of the Vampire's mouth and ran towards his sister. "I'm so glad you're-" That's when two buffed Vampire Piggies dropped in front of Dib and pointed spears at him. "Safe."

"Settle down, he's just my annoying brother." Gaz ordered the pigs to stand back, startling Dib.

"Gaz… did you overthrow this evil pig thing and turn it to a force of good?!"

Gaz groaned. "No Dib. Looks like the pyramid head didn't tell ya." Gaz noticed the pig's mouth still full. "Who else is in there?"

With no other choice, the remainders jumped out of the pig's mouth as they cautiously walked towards Gaz.

"Stupid robot." Gaz counted GIR.

"_HI_!"

"Stupid squeak toy."

"Squeak_._"

"Stupid alien girl."

"How dare you call me stupid you lower species."

"Aaaaaaaaand you guys." Gaz pointed at the Mystery Crew. "Let me guess, my brother and Zim dragged you all here."

Dipper cleared his throat. "Actually it was Bill you brought here."

"Oh, you mean with this." Gaz took out a wand like device with a silly looking head piece. "That was probably just me getting my brother back."

"You saved us!" Dib cheered. "Now we have the power to stop ZIM and save humanity!"

Zim gasped. "Traitor!"

"He was never on your side!" shouted Tak. "And I would have destroyed you the moment I get my chance! And the Tallest will make me an Invader unlike you who they just wanted to be rid of!"

Gaz growled angrily at their bickering. "Would you guys just-"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Wendy, catching Gaz off guard. "Alright Kid, why did you make a deal with Bill and brought us all here in this disgusting place? And I am not just talking about the giant pig!"

"Huh…." Gaz rubbed her chin. "Looks like you're not stupid after all. Sorry about getting you guys here."

"At least you apologized." Wendy glared at Gaz. "Now get us back or I'll rearrange your organs."

"Alright, you're pretty cool." Gaz smiled as she looked at the others. "You're with her?"

"Yes we are." Dipper straightens his hat. "Look, I would love to leave this world alone and go back home, but you made a deal with one of our enemies."

"He's a mind-invading triangle of pure evil!" shouted Mabel as she held onto Waddles. "Tell us your evil plans now."

"Yeah, Bill told us you did all this stuff." Soos said. "And it better not be gross."

Gas sniffed the air around the heroes and turned away. "Eew, you're right about that. That's why I stayed here." Gaz aimed the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy at the heroes and shot a beam at them. "There, now you smell better."

The heroes checked themselves and felt clean. "O.K., right now you are my favorite villain." Wendy said. "… Unless you wanted to make this world not gross this entire time, then you're like a super hero."

Gaz chuckled. "Not a bad idea, but I rather see this world destroyed."

Everyone was a bit surprised, but Dib was the one actually being shocked. "Gaz, what has Bill done to you!?"

"Oh, he told me how to use this." Gaz showed everyone the artifact. "I figured I'll help him out if he helps me." A screen was lowered and showed the city being overrun by Vampire Piggies. "Bill Cipher wants to go to some world or something and wants my help, so he showed me how to use it and I brought not just you Dib and Zim, but also you and your Tall guys to some other world." Gaz pointed at the Invader Zim gang.

"And why would you do this, Gaz Human?" Zim asked. "Bring me to a world with many mysterieeeeessssss to use against your world?"

"Well… destroying this world is actually just a perk." Gaz swirled the staff around. "But the main reason I brought you all to that world is something far greater than your stupid lives!"

The atmosphere tightened as a dramatic zoom happened to everyone faces.

"My biggest reason for all this…."

.

.

.

.

"Was to get this signed." Gaz took out a Vampire Piggy videogame with a signature on it.

"…..Waaaaaaah?"

Everyone just gazed at Gaz with the upmost confusion.

"Yeah, my favorite game designer was going to be in town during a week or so, and I just know my brother and his alien friend would love to blow him up with their latest scheme or something.

"WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!"

"Then that triangle showed up and I sucked you all into that world one by one. But then brought you back because he already left."

There was a long and eerie silence from the Mystery Crew. "… ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" shouted the Gravity Falls gang, and Tak.

"You mean to tell me you did all this, all this!" Dipper gestured to the pig invasion. "All just because you wanted a signature of some designer!?"

"Well duh." Gaz sat back onto her throne.

"I want to go home." Wendy stated. "I want to go home and do normal stuff! As in weird stuff with actual good reason for it to be weird!"

"And this is no place for Waddles! I demand you stop this all and bring equal rights to pigs everywhere!"

Dipper rubbed his temples. "Alright, look. You got that signature." Dipper held his hand out. "Just hand over that thing and we can fix everything."

Gaz looked at the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy. "And why?"

"BECAUSE!" Zim shouted. "Because …. Because your dad will not like it!"

Gaz just looked at Zim. "Huh …. Yeah he would probably ground me from this. Also you could have walked through those bars in the first place."

Zim looked at the space between the bone bars, and walked right out. "ZIM IS FREE AT LAST!"

Gaz sighed. "O.K., I'll just take you home and-"

"_Hold it right there_!"

Time itself froze and the color of the world drained.

"_You're forgetting our deal_."

"BILL!?" everyone shouted as the dream demon himself appeared.

He floated to Gaz and wrapped his arm around, angering the girl. "_Don't forget that when you bring them back, you bring me along with them_."

"Don't do it!" shouted everyone.

"_Really, that's the most creative thing you could say_?" Bill looked at Gaz who forcefully removed his arm. "_Remember what we agreed on. Just as long as nothing happens to your brother and that designer, you keep your end of the bargain and-"_

"My mind's a broke thanks to the plane boom!" shouted a random business man on the screen, catching everyone's attention. "I'm going to write music with broccoli and I'll become the next Bigfoot of the United States of Mars!"

Gaz's eyes popped right out as her jaw dropped to the ground.

"_That's you're designer, isn't it?_"

Gaz slowly nodded.

"_Well that didn't go liked I planned_." Bill said with delight as he turned to the heroes. "_Seem like Gaz is going to let all heck break through. Glad you can all die. Byyyyyyyyyye_!" Bill happily waved as he disappears and the world turned back to normal.

"_I'm gonna miss him_." GIR began to cry.

Seeing the man going completely insane, Gaz clenched her fist as she painfully grind her death while steam shot out from her ears.

"She's going to turn into some giant pig monster, is she?" Wendy asked as Gaz held out the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy.

"Oh yeah, she is definitely going to do that." Soos confirmed Gaz shouted to the top of her lungs.

All the Vampire Piggys in the world halted and flew all back to the giant pig as it roared to the tops of the heavens.

The Vampire Piggys inside the beast all oinked and swarmed around Gaz, including their piggy friend.

"Oh no! I didn't name you yet!" Mabel called out as their friend and all of the other pigs started morphing into a huge blob of flesh.

"Ohhhh noooooo. Please something other than that!" shouted Dipper as Dib and others began to throw up at a corner.

"I repent everything I did bad!" shouted Wendy as her eyes were forced to watch the blob take form into a giant disgusting Vampire Warthog abomination with several eyes, misplaced limbs with claw-like hooves, a sinful odor, yellow spines on its back oozing green slime, and a skull head with 3' bloody fangs and a ….. arcade cabinet attached to it. "WHYYYYYY!? WWWWHYYYYYYY!?"

Gaz epically jumped into the air and landed in front of the arcade game. She placed two quarters in and the screen turned on to show our heroes. "ZIM!"

"Huh?" Zim asked.

"You shall paaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

"Hey, how'd you know it was me who shot that plane down?"

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAWH!" Using the arcade cabinet, Gaz took control of the Warthog and attacked the alien. "Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!"

"Aaaaaah, GIR! Attack!" Zim shouted at GIR.

"Yes master!" GIR's eyes turned red as it aimed all its weaponry at the monstrosity. "…. Piggy!" Only to revert back to normal and danced around the raging beast.

"You know …" Mabel turned to the others. "If this was a T.V. show, I would probably watch it." Mabel gestured to Gaz using the warthog trying to shoot stomach acid at Zim. "I mean it's kind of like enjoying a character on a show that you know for a fact you'll hate in real life."

"She has a point there." Soos added.

"O.K., look." Dipper shouted. "We've been here for waaaaaay too long! We need to end it now!" He turned to Dib. "Are you with me?"

"Yes, Gaz! Stop his reign of tyranny!" Dib cheered on his sister chasing Zim around in a circle.

"Seriously?" Dipper took a deep breath. "Tak….."

"I'm actually quite enjoying this." Tak was just lunging around at the corner with a screen showing the Tallest having a good laugh.

"Well then." Dipper turned to his friends. "I would just love to leave right now, but my moral code is forcing me to stop this just for the sake of keeping everybody else in this world safe."

Everyone agreed with Dipper.

"Or we can just swipe that thing off Gaz and quietly leave." Wendy suggested.

"I actually don't feel right leaving Dib like this." Dipper said. "I mean yes he's crazy like everyone else, but he's still my friend."

"I'M YOU'RE FRIEND!" Dib shouted.

"Yeah, and GIR and Mini-Moose are great." Mabel said.

"_Are you looking for this?_" GIR asked.

"The Tallest are cool, too." Wendy said. "Alright, we should ….. did GIR just take that wand off Gaz?"

Everyone looked at GIR holding the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy.

"….. I'm not questioning it." Dipper took the artifact off of GIR. "Alright, time to finally end this once and for-"

That's when a large boney hand grabbed Dipper.

"Dipper!" everyone shouted as the boney hand pulled Dipper right to Gaz.

"That belongs to me!" Gaz took the wand and pushed Dipper into the body of the beast; only leaving his head sticking out next to Gaz.

"Ew, ew, ew!"

"Give me back my brother!" shouted Mabel as she and Waddles charged at the Warthog.

Gaz growled as she raised the beast's many arms. And from the armpits she shot plenty of organs at her.

"Gross, gross, gross!" shouted Mabel as she carried Waddles away from the organ.

"Hand over my p-terodactyl bro!" Soos shot a laser at the warthog. "Hey, I forgot we have these alien weapons."

Wendy cracked her neck as she armed herself with lasers and grenades. "I'm coming for you, Dipper." She rushed in and dodged more boney arms shooting out from the warthog's body and used a laser sword to cut the belly of the beast, only for piles and piles of rubber piggy toys to spew right out. "I am THIS CLOSE to dropping a certain bomb! THIS! CLOSE!"

Mabel took noticed of the arcade cabinet Gaz is using to control the monster. She drew out a laser and aimed directly at the screen.

"Say good night you evil witch!"

Before she pulled the trigger, Dib tackled her out of nowhere.

"Stop, we can destroy Zim and-" Mabel punched him in the face and threw him off her.

"I'll be taking that." Tak used her robotic legs to snag the laser off of Mabel and crushed it. "You're not spoiling my fun."

"Squeak!" Mini-Moose started shooting lasers around her now.

"Back you … what are you even?!" Tak took out her lasers to shoot at Mini-Moose.

"You can't catch me, you can't catch me!" Zim shouted as Gaz tried to squish him, but being bothered by Soos, Wendy, and Mabel.

"Would you all just ….. shut up!" the warthog turned to the three and opened its mouth, only to burp a nauseous gas in their faces which caused them all to faint. "Now where was I?"

"I really don't know." Red said as he and Purples watched the events unfold through Tak's pack as she fought Mini-Moose. "No really, what's going on?" Red asked Purple who only shrugged.

"Wait, Tallest?" Zim noticed the Tallest on the screen attacked to Tak's pack. "Yes, of course!" Zim ran in and jumped on the screen, scaring the Tallest. "My Tallest, activate the giant laser now!"

"Get off that!" Tak shouted at Zim just as Mini-Moose shot the screen, destroying the connection.

* * *

The Tallest just watched the screen turned static.

"We should go get them." Purple added.

"Good idea." Red said. "Then after that, we'll activate the laser and goodbye pig."

**Laser activated. Piggy shall be obliterated in ten minutes. Also deactivation is locked and cannot be unlocked, especially by the computer of the Tallest**

"…. What did you do!?"

* * *

"Ha, I activated the laser myself!" cheered Zim. "This giant piggy shall be destroyed and I, Zim, shall be the third Irken to receive the most praise!"

"Yoooooou did WHAT!?" shouted Tak as she grabbed a hold of Zim. "You've doomed us all!"

Then Gaz used the warthog and grabbed both Irkens with floating pancakes.

"You did it!" cheered Dib. "You've saved the world from destruction! ….. with Pancakes… where'd they come from?"

Mabel, Wendy, and Soos regained consciousness as Gaz laughed maniacally as she covered Zim and Tak all over with pancakes.

"I'm dropping the bomb, I'm DROPPINGTHE SWEAR BOMB!" Wendy inhaled deeply, but Mabel covered her mouth. "Wait, I think I have an idea!"

Mabel rushed over to the beast and saw Dipper's head sticking out. "Dipper! ….. Do something!" She turned to Wendy and Soos. "Heh, sorry. That's all I got."

Wendy slapped her face and shook her head in disappointment.

Dipper was trying to struggle out as much as he could throughout the hold thing, but with no results. "Gaz … can we please talk?" Dipper spoke to Gaz, but was too concentrated on her little game. "You're just going to pretend I'm not here, are you?"

"Oh I can hear you alright." Gaz glanced at Dipper. "You have no idea how furious I am right now!"

Dipper thought for a moment. "Got any emotional problems you want to share?"

Gaz took a deep breath as she tries to shake off Soos eating the pancakes. "Well for starters, my favorite show got cancelled way too soon. But now it was brought back through a comic book series."

"Really? How's that going along?"

Gaz shrugged. "It's alright." Gaz jumped away from Wendy going berserks on some warthog offspring hatching from recently laid eggs. "But it reminds me of how stupid everyone is."

"Well I can relate." Dipper rolled his eyes. "I mean, you know Zim's an alien, right?"

"Duh." Gaz rolled her eyes. "He even has the worse disguise ever. Everyone's just too stupid to see through it."

"Well they're more stupid than you think." Dipper sparked Gaz's curiosity. "When we got here, Zim was completely exposed, but everyone just thought it was a rubber mask. And don't get me started on those flying pigs everyone thinks are just Halloween decoration.

Gaz managed to crack a smile. "Oh and you should totally hear about how Zim disguised himself as Santa."

"The babies are having babies!?" shouted Wendy as she slashed through each offspring with her hatchet. "I hate this place!"

Soos managed to munch Zim free, but not Tak.

"Zim is free once again, thanks to ZIM!"

"Dude, I'm right here." Soos folded his arms and pouted.

A musical tune was heard from Zim and a screen popped up.

"ZIM!?" shouted the Talles. "HOW DO YOU TURN OFF THE LASER!?"

"Oh don't worry. Everything's under control." Zim smirked as he stood their quietly for a good few seconds before realizing what is happening! "AAAAAAAHHHHH! DOOOOOOOOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-DAH! DOOOMED to the Tallest's favorite human, Wendy!"

"Thanks for caring." Wendy sarcastically said. "Wait, what does he mean?"

"This idiot activated the laser on his own." Red informed her. "And we can't shut it off!"

"How powerful is this thing!"

* * *

Back at Zim's house, Purple tried with all the weapons he could find to destroy the big laser sticking out of Zim's house, but nothing even dented it.

"It's going to fire!"

* * *

"WHAT!?" everyone shouted from within the Giant Pig, minus Gaz and Dipper as the Warthog laid more eggs with cupholders.

"Wendy, we're sorry!" Purple started crying as Red held himself.

Tak managed to vaporize the pancakes and ran to the door, only to find more masses of pig blobs blocking the entrance. "I hate you all!"

All the heroes looked at one another and hugged.

"I'm gonna miss you dudes!" Soos cried as he hugged everyone.

"I never proved to everyone that I was right all along!" cried Dib. "And I'm a terrible brother to let my sister get blown up with me!"

"I never get to go to Highschool with my brother and sing all day long!" Mabel held onto Waddles. "I'm sorry, Waddles. But you're going to be bacon."

"_Weeeeeeeee!_" GIR cheered as Mini-Moose squeaked.

"Dipper, if we were the same age, I would totally date you!" Wendy shouted. "And seriously, I hate this world!"

The laser from Zim's house finally activated as it shot a death beam directly at the pig, and completely annihilated it.

* * *

"….No…." Red dropped to his knees as Purple's let out his tears. "Wendy blew up …. And so did Zim? Does that balance it out? …. We should have just blown up Zim the moment we came back!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaah!" Purple cried his heart out. "We're terrible Tallest!"

"_Uhhhhhhh, Tallest._" Computer spoke. "_They're outside. Safe._"

"Huh?" The Tallest poked their heads out the door and there they are; our heroes.

"Guys!" shouted the Tallest.

"My Tallest!" Zim ran towards their open arms, but the Tallest closed the door shut as the little invader ran face first into the door.

They opened it again only to hug Wendy, the lumberjack girl who, just like everyone else, was just standing there, just realizing that they're no longer in the pig.

"…What just happened?" Dib asked as everyone gave them confused look. "We're safe? ….. Gaz!" Dib asked when he saw his sister standing next to Dipper. "You're safe! Oh thank-"Gaz shoved her brother when he tried to hug her.

"Shut up, I'm having a conversation here!" Gaz, with the recently used Pully-Lifty-Zuesy in her hand, turned to Dipper. "So the movies in your world are how bad?"

"Help, my face is being eaten a lot." Dipper imitated a character from one of the bad movies he watched with Wendy. "Seriously, we should watch some."

"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" Mabel gleed. "Match Made!"

"Mmmmmmaaaabeeeeeellll….." After groaning with a red face, Dipper raised his eyebrow and turned to Gaz. "How old are you?"

"I'm in elementary school, you're in middle school." Gaz folded her arms. "No luck with that. But I really need to watch those movies."

"You're not taking my buddy from me." Wendy whispered to herself, causing Mabel to laugh.

"Haaaaa … wait a minute?" She turned to the paranormal enthusiast … How old are you Dib?"

Dib took a deep breath. "So we're good?"

Gaz answered yes. "I'm fine now."

"I believe that dirt is evil!" shouted the game designer. Gaz just shot him with the artifact and he was back to normal.

"Huh, could have just done that." Gaz aimed the Pully-Lifty-Zeusy and opened a portal. "This will take you back to Gravity Falls." She turned to everyone. "I'm going to watch those dumb movies with Dipper and-"

"SEE-YA!" Wendy waved and put one foot in the portal. "Nice hanging with you, Tallest. I'm going to bed, now!" Wendy leaped into the portal.

"Abuelita is probably worried sick. Bye alien dudes." Soos walked right in.

"_See you all later._" GIR was about to go in, but Zim stopped him.

"My Tallest." A spaceship landed near the group with several Irken soldiers running out. "We are here to take you home."

With the opportunity to leave Zim, the Tallest leaped in as Tak marched right in. "We'll meet again, Zim. Some daaaaaaay!" The spaceship closed and flew up into the sky.

"So…." Zim looked at the others. "We're back, and you can go back…."

"I guess this is goodbye." Dipper said. "Well as in we all go home for the day. No doubt Gaz here doesn't wants to get rid of the-"

Then Zim took the Pully-Lifty-Zuesy off of Gaz's hand and threw it on the ground, smashing it to pieces.

"Zim is the victor!"

"RAAAAAAAAW!" Gaz shouted. "I should have left you in that pig just like those other people!"

Dipper and Mabel noticed the portal closing. "Nevermind then. This is goodbye forever."

Dipper turned to Dib. "Well it was great getting to know someone who's into the weirdness of the world like me. Going to be kind of lonely back home."

"At least you have friends." Dib took a deep breath. "But you'll find someone else who's into the paranormal like us, I just know it."

"_Foreshadowing_." GIR randomly said.

"Despite my superior self, I have to admit I will miss your company." Zim said, before being embraced by another deadly hug from Mabel.

"I'm going to make sweaters with all your faces on it!"

"_Hooray, sad part_." GIR hugged Mabel as Mini-Moose shot multiple lasers at a house.

Gaz contained her anger long enough to utter in some words. "Go home to your world with smarter people already."

The portal started to break up as Mabel and Dipper held hands. "Dib, Zim, GIR, Mini-Moose, Gaz … this was completely crazy."

"Yep."

"And we'll remember you always, and yet never bring you guys or these events up in any conversation or thoughts ever."

They gave their final bidding and Dipper and Mabel jumped into the portal right as it disappears.

It was a quiet and emotional moment for them to handle, until GIR ruined it by shouting something about bacon and flying into the house followed by Mini-Moose.

"Well I should get back to my evil plans." Zim said.

"Oh yeah." Dib said. "Well …. Well I'll watch you to make sure you don't. I'll wait in my room for who knows how long if I have to!"

"Ha …. Hmmmmmm. Yeeeeessss….. watch me while I definitely not watch you and wait for a perfect moment. Bwa ha ha ha!"

Zim and Dib went their separate ways, leaving Gaz alone.

Gaz just sighed and kicked the ground. "I should have just jumped into that portal to Gravity Falls."

"Excuse me, did you just say Gravity Falls?" a stranger walked up to Gaz and waved with his six-fingered hand. "My name is-"

"Shut up."

**The End**

* * *

"_Well that was some story, wasn't it_?" Bill Cipher appeared. "_You've waited 2 years for this. Was it worth it? Well, was it?_" Bill whipped out his cane and leaned on it. "_If you did enjoy this, I just want to ruin it for you._" Bill pointed forward. "_This is a fanfiction. It will never be canon. Disney and Nickelodeon are business rivals. Heck, the employees of Nick are practically enemies of Nick. Did you have any idea how little pay animators receive?"_

Bill lounged in midair_. "And don't get me started on this little detail. Gravity Falls ended over a year ago, and I was dead the entire time! Or am I?! Duh duuh duuuuuuuh!"_

"_That's all I have. We'll, meet again. Don't know … really? No musical numbers on this website. Oh well, byyyyyyyye!"_


End file.
